Sick week in short

1. I had the flu Wednesday, and still feel like refried donkey poo.
2. Jude is 95% potty trained, major change. (bittersweet)
3. I am down an underwear size.
4. wt 179.2
5. inches lost 2.5 all belly
6. The sickness is passing down through the family sleep could be a little better.
7. I'm happy.
8. I claim the week as a blur, but I'm not bitching.
9. back to laundry.
10. love you all
11. song: What I have stuck in my head: Levi Johnston's Blues, Ben Folds (not my favorite)
12. MFP rules. 25 to go bitches.

girl on the run

I've been busy this week. really really busy, we have started full on potty training. So basically I'm talking to myself. Hubbs is back to his usually million hour a week work week, we saw each other 5 am on Monday, and then 5:30pm Friday. So needless to say I'm struggling with a little stress. I mean it could be worse, I am fortunate to get to be home with the kids during the week, so disregard any whining I do- I am grateful I promise. I haven't missed any workouts, although, order or even organization takes a backseat to my child's tiny bladder and intestines....so I guess I'm still on top. This is the weekend I go to work earlier so I only have a few minutes....
Friday I did a new bodypump class that brought me down to chinatown, and I'm still whining about it. My quads feel like cement it hurts to sit, I am wearing bengay so I'm not to worried about the gain, I am sure my body is trying to rebuild what I wrecked Friday. I was upset until I measure now I'm cool with it.
The stats in brief:
Inches down this week: 4.5, all waist down, no breast lost this week- hooray!
weight down 1.8 this week to 182 on Thursday and today up to 183.
I just noticed inches since I started keeping track a long time ago is now over 100 at 102.25

Come Together, Joe Cocker

befores

Yep I am getting ready to talk about feelings again. Anyone who's sick of hearing me after 3 years of "me dealing with me" just click on by this one. I try to accept myself and how I used to be and how I am now, and its still hard for me, probably because it's still not over.

I was in the pictures, I found "befores", and I cried. Honestly I had no idea that these were there, I don't remember seeing them, and I knew how big I was but now about 3 whole years later it still shocked the hell out of me. I got all weird and anxious this last week, people saying things to complement making me act weirder. I guess because I am still in battle...still trying to finish this crap. I had no idea what I looked like, or how others could see me. Funny how you avoid things, the pics of the boys are precious, I remember how blessed I felt just to get to be their mom. I had to add in one of each of my angels...

Jan 15, 2012

I had a little bit of a rough week, I finally admitted/let myself be sick. Its been there for a couple weeks now. Begging myself to not get really sick, but feeling it. My ears have bothered me, my sinuses, and then finally the asthma decided to kick up and I had no other choice but to call a doctor. I admit all last week I felt strange I was pretending to feel "fine". Nope I knew what was coming. I went on Wednesday. My mom, thankgoodness took my kids for me and I got checked out, ended up with a shot of steriods in the bum, and some really gross antibiotics. By gross antibiotics I mean, its not the kind of med you take and then forget to take because you forgot you were on them, no you remember all day long when you take these. You taste metal, you smell wierd stuff, your stomach hates you. All day wednesday, I spent on my back, my mom took the kids for me--THANKS. I really needed a day to just rest. I sweat for no reason for 24 hours.
The next morning still sweating I had to move on with life because we needed food, sick mommy was dropping the ball. So we did go about our business at the store, and the good thing my boys were soooo well behaved! Unlike the last time all 3 of us attempted this about a month or 2 ago, when I white knuckled the cart until I got in the drivers seat of my minivan and burst into tears, I thanked god for the favor. It made the weaked state I was in easier to bare, I was so proud of them.
The last few days have been lazy days for me. I have been doing the bare minimum. No exercising from tuesday until Saturday, and just keeping housework above water. I feel a lot better yesterday, I was back to the gym. I did a really silly little treadmil run, I am still about 80%. I am staying out of the outdoors until I get better, The asthma has spoken, we don't want to piss it off.
Today I added my stats to my spreadsheet. I am not posting anymore because of its ridiculousness.
Total Inches lost this week = 1.
Current Weight= 183.8
Even though I did really not much to exercise this week, I am still loosing. This IS exciting don't get me wrong, however I am not really accepting all of this yet. I am not used to it. In fact the weirdo in me wants to not tell anyone its coming off again because I am afraid it will stop the momentum. I know its childish, but I did spend more than a year in limbo and eventually accepted the reality, I don't want to go there again. I will keep sharing, but I am definitely not one of those obnoxious friends that blurts it out every time you see them that they are doing good on a diet, no, I am not feeling exactly comfortable yet because I still have miles to go.

Hanging Around, Counting Crows

Feb. 5, 2006

Dear Baby,
I am writing you this letter while you are still inside me. Because I want you to know how much I already love you. I have always wanted you and today I am sad. It was your first doctors appointment today, everything looked good until the doctor pushed on my belly and I said "ouch". He brought in the sonogram machine and you must have been too tiny to see.
Well if you end up growing big and strong or if you only spend the rest of the week in my belly, I just want you to know how blessed everybody was for a little while and how truly happy for father and I were when we heard about our beautiful baby. If you leave us and go to heaven remember we love you and we'll never forget our baby. If you stay and were playing a joke or hiding , let me say that is the beginning of another beautiful life story. Whatever you decide to do, remember, we both love you.
Your Mother,
Amanda Fink

I found this in a journal as I was cleaning out my storage to make room for a second Christmas tree to store. Everything came back like a ton a bricks. It was before we knew it was a confirmed miscarriage. It was the beginning of something that changed me forever. Lots of time has passed but I always think of this child and the age he or she may be. Just thought I would share one of the reasons why I run, I run for her.

30.4

I am within 30.4 of my goal weight. Yesterday I told someone I still had 50 more to loose. I guess I need to learn to pay attention. :D
So anyways I think the sunday stats posts are getting ridiculous. I will still post my wieght and total inches lost but I don't think we care how big my butt is EVERYWEEK, well at least not as much as I do. I noticed my views have gone way down, I get the hint :), even I am tired of them.
I will still keep my my spreadsheet and share weekly changes just not so much detail unless asked. I'm an open book. Today I was 185.4 another new low.
I think I am getting/have an ear infection/cold. I am still exercising but I am not feeling superduper this week.
Running update: Half Marathon training starts february 4th. Yippie!
Now its off to the gym to sweat like a man! Onward friends.

Changes, David Bowie

Sunday Stats, I don't know which week this is..

Hey all. I'm getting ready for work, only a couple minutes to post. I am considering moving the stats to a different day because of the crazy nature the weekend takes on. This week has been a decent week. I took Thursday and Friday off extra because I think I am getting something lung related. Asthma, of course is not please and punished me yesterday. I did miss resolution run yesterday because of time constraints and making it to work, unforeseen circumstances.... My uncle dropped of my race shirt though so I feel loved. :)
Weight is back on track. Boobs have started going away even more! But its all good I won't complain :)
Song for the week: Put Your Records On, Corrine Bailey Rae
Weight  1/1   188.4    1/7   186

1/1/2012	1/7/2012
13	12.75
12.25	12
12.25	12
39	38.5
34.5	34.5
32.5	32
37	36.5
42.5	40.5
24.75	25
24.5	25
16.75	16.5
17	17
21	20.5
21	21.5
348	344.25
3.25	3.75

Marathon Thoughts

Happy New Year 2012 stats

I didn't weigh in last week so measurements are 2 weeks difference. We had Christmas, and the week Hubbs has been off I have either ran out doors or done nothing, no strength training. I
This week on Thursday, I fell down on on black ice with Skip. He's okay his collar snapped off and he didn't get hurt. I hit my butt, obviously bounced onto my right knee. I skinned my knee for the first time since I was like 8 years old. It was through my tights so at least I didn't get the pleasure of picking rocks out but there is definitely rock marks there. Its black and blue so Friday I rested and worked instead, Saturday I did 40 on elliptical and then went to work, and today I fear I don't have time, I have to get ready for work in like 25 minutes and my kids are missing me. Probably okay to let this be a rest day, I work therefore I am moving a lot, and my knee is bruised. Not inside just outside, and the scab hasn't really set yet so when I deep bend I feel it open again.
The scale has been a tease this week. I hit 186 after Christmas, and now I am up 2 pounds. I have been watching my calories, I do feel maybe I have been a little to lenient on my calories, although staying within my projected amount, I have been eating most of my exercised calories this week. I do feel a little GI trouble that I am not going to ruin your brain cloud with. Lets just say the term food baby comes to mind....
I have been getting a lot of complements lately, and its nice to hear but maybe, I need to not listen, I let to much food in this week and now I am paying the price. Todays a clean slate, and I am not letting this one get away. 
Here's my stats they go neck arms left to right, chest, ribs, waist, floppy belly, butt, thighs left to right, calfs left to right, upper knee left to right,

12/18/2011	1/1/2012
13	13
12.5	12.25
12.5	12.25
39.5	39
34.5	34.5
32.5	32.5
37.75	37
42.5	42.5
25	24.75
24.5	24.5
17	16.75
17.5	17
21	21
21.5	21
351.25	348
	total lost 3.25 inches
					Current weight 188.4
	down 3.4 since last stats, up 2 since 186 though :(
	IT's a new year friends, Onward, And Happy New Year!