Sunday, October 27, 2013
The last blog of many.
I was out running yesterday day thinking about life in general and I got a beam of sun through the trees. This really was an interesting sight. It was falling leaves, barren branches, green grass, and frost on the ground, I could see my breath, and the sun was warm, all seasons at once. I could hardly see. It was beautiful and also sort of dangerous. I had to turn around for a minute to adjust my eyes, the park looks just gorgeous this time of year. I turned back into the blinding confusing light run my course home, because I needed to go there, home. It would have just been easier to run away from the light but that's not my style.
I am back to running around like my crazy self. I am working out, and running again. I am back at it. I haven't been blogging because I haven't had anything to say. I have been thinking. I don't have a future really planned right now for a race, even though previous plans stated otherwise. I am becoming a fly by night runner, always trained signing up at the last moment.... I am not injured, and I am sure as hell not quitting.
I am one pound from my original goal weight of 155. This could happen tomorrow morning. It could happen next week, it may never happen. I may go right past it. I know balloons aren't going to fall from the sky. In fact, I am kinda sad. it's been 4 and a half years.
things I learned from this:
1 Being honest will change your life.
2 If your are uncomfortable with yourself you have no excuse not to try, it's more awkward for everyone else when you won't try things because you feel inadequate.
3 laugh
4 smile no matter what
5 if you are sad you shouldn't eat.
6 if you are scared, anxious, angry, don't eat.
7 food is not a pacifier.
8 fast foot will kill you.
9 human spirit is amazing.
10 consistency is so important. I maintained several times it was so frustrating!
11 any chubby kid can become a marathon runner if they want.
This is my last blog. I am going to leave this up for any one who wants to read my misspelled rants, it was a party the whole way through. Even if only a handful read it I have felt really loved and supported through everything, thank you, I love you.
I do, Love you guys.
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Saturday, September 21, 2013
reorganization
So this week I mentioned I did not take a day off. ERH MEH GERD. After the race, walked to the car, washed at the hotel went home and went to my bed. I didn't really sleep I just laid there. My mom made us dinner at my house and I ate stuffed peppers and mashed potatoes in my bed, and watched transformers with my guys. Before I knew it, it was time for work. Nothing fit. All of my clothes felt too tight. I just put on my ugliest set of scrubs and resigned to I.D.G.R.A and at least I was going. It's all part of the race I think. Can you run a marathon, walk to the car, and then the next day do your life as normal? Yes, yes I can but I felt like garbage. I have really slid through this week by the grace of god where it comes to just keeping up with life. I was fortunate to be at a desk this week and I felt relaxed and ready to do my job, but the rest-er forget it. It's all been like leadshoes have been on my legs. Cleaning, nope. Shopping, nope. All I could do to help the shorties with dressing and doing homework. It really had been a test on my mental strength, I am just tired now not sore at all. I am feeling much better now, almost like I am ready to hit the gym but I am going to stay out a few more days. No running for 20 more days. I am resting from running 26 days. I have lost 5 lbs this week, sure to be fluid retention from the race, my legs are still feel a little puffy. Clothing is starting to fit better, not quite there yet. My face swelled a little this time too, odd.
This weekend is dedicated to damage control, I get caught up around here. I am calling my girlfriends too, it has been too long.
onward...soon.
This weekend is dedicated to damage control, I get caught up around here. I am calling my girlfriends too, it has been too long.
onward...soon.
The Erie Hat Trick
I know I left you all hanging for a week but girlfriend had serious issues getting it together. I did not miss a minute of work this week and I dropped my computer on my foot sunday evening, breaking it. It's dead waiting for new parts. So here's a synapse of my 3rd full Marathon from sunday 9-15-13.
Saturday night getting to Erie and trying to scrape together my wits went ok. I wasn't prepared 50 percent. It had been busy adjusting to the start of school at my house, dealing with the kids and the new change in their lives will change everyone elses as we attempted to do first grade homework and figure out a routine we have been met with some resistance, naturally. I hadn't really packed, or shopped. By saying this we even had to buy soap in Erie because we were out, busy, amen. I describe myself as pigpen doing the freak, I have been, disorder heightens my anxiety, girl has been trippin'. So at the dinner table, we chose Boston's restaurant, I cried. I felt guilty all year really for my new job, it's been rough on mom, the kids are well adjusted now I still feel kinda sad, I am sure I was put up to the marathon to really snap me out of it, but sometimes it makes feeling guilty amplified...So I cried talking about it. I bring it up because I think that's what's changing my whole demeanor. I am trying so hard, the running hasn't hurt me, it's helped, but everything still a little off. Thus my quietness. We went back to the room sullen and quiet, hubbs stayed up for ever trying to update my playlist while I slept.
I woke up with my alarm, we got up like firefighters dressed and jumped out the door only to arrive super early. We heard enrollment went way up we wanted to be prepared. We had time to sit on a picnic bench and freeze in the dark together, it was fun. The race started and we all ran down the road like we normally do. The first 10k was pretty good. I loosened up finally. After the first 8 miles it became a party. It was a lot of fun, I think this is the point I just started to sing aloud with my head phones. Not just a few words I mean just belting it out. I think something temporarily snapped, I let me be me and it had been too long. I was getting eyebrow raises and smiles, yes this girl just IS crazy, and HAPPY. At the halfway point before I crossed over the chip timer there was a crowd I slowed a little to look for my family, they kids might be there at that point, but they are small 6 and 4 years old I wasn't getting my hopes up, I didn't see them I crossed the timer pad -beepbeep and kept on, figured they had to go potty or wanted to see the water. And then, I saw them. Sitting on a curb with hubbs and my mom and I let out a sob. A dry one, but a sob. It was so good to see them. They didn't look bored at all, they were excited. I stopped and kissed each one and all of the sudden I just felt great. I kept singing the whole way. I was never alone the whole race there was always someone to talk to, I met some really cool people. When they would ask me how I was feeling I would tell them "I am great, my babies are here today"! It charged me up. At the 3rd 10k point they were there too. As I continued at that point I met a lady named Laura, she was a marathon maniac she tours the country on the weekends with her husband and is in a club that runs all 50 states. Her husband has MS and they are just running as long as they can, he wasn't with her, he's faster. She really made mile 22 and 23 easy. She was cool, I can't believe she does all that, I think one marathon a year is tough. I would like to share she is 60. I think she is tough as nails. At mile 23 my personal favorite water stop with a winnebago and a sound system was playing club music, I actually stopped and shook my groove thang for a moment. At this point I thought my GPS watch was not working right, I was making ok time, probably just pushed a wrong button like at Pittsburgh. I kept on, I felt great, I sang the whole marathon. And I became a cheerleader at the end. I was cheering the others I passed waving my arms. It was great.
The Finish was the best part for me. The kids were there and my mom and husband let them run with me through the finish line. The both had blackeyed susans pulled out by the root for me and they were so excited. I will never forget that. And I hope they never do either. They made it so much better than finishing any marathon could ever be. I just hope that maybe think someday they can do big things too. I don't think I can find the words to express how cool it was or how much I love them.
I just want to thank my husband and my mom for being there and helping me pull this off.
I also appreciate my in laws for watching our dogs while were gone, that's a whole other rodeo!
ps. I was faster this year. My chip time 5:12:55. Over all clock 5:14:01. last year was 5:28:31. Very impossible seeming to me, I trained like shit. But I was just on fire that day. :)
Saturday night getting to Erie and trying to scrape together my wits went ok. I wasn't prepared 50 percent. It had been busy adjusting to the start of school at my house, dealing with the kids and the new change in their lives will change everyone elses as we attempted to do first grade homework and figure out a routine we have been met with some resistance, naturally. I hadn't really packed, or shopped. By saying this we even had to buy soap in Erie because we were out, busy, amen. I describe myself as pigpen doing the freak, I have been, disorder heightens my anxiety, girl has been trippin'. So at the dinner table, we chose Boston's restaurant, I cried. I felt guilty all year really for my new job, it's been rough on mom, the kids are well adjusted now I still feel kinda sad, I am sure I was put up to the marathon to really snap me out of it, but sometimes it makes feeling guilty amplified...So I cried talking about it. I bring it up because I think that's what's changing my whole demeanor. I am trying so hard, the running hasn't hurt me, it's helped, but everything still a little off. Thus my quietness. We went back to the room sullen and quiet, hubbs stayed up for ever trying to update my playlist while I slept.
I woke up with my alarm, we got up like firefighters dressed and jumped out the door only to arrive super early. We heard enrollment went way up we wanted to be prepared. We had time to sit on a picnic bench and freeze in the dark together, it was fun. The race started and we all ran down the road like we normally do. The first 10k was pretty good. I loosened up finally. After the first 8 miles it became a party. It was a lot of fun, I think this is the point I just started to sing aloud with my head phones. Not just a few words I mean just belting it out. I think something temporarily snapped, I let me be me and it had been too long. I was getting eyebrow raises and smiles, yes this girl just IS crazy, and HAPPY. At the halfway point before I crossed over the chip timer there was a crowd I slowed a little to look for my family, they kids might be there at that point, but they are small 6 and 4 years old I wasn't getting my hopes up, I didn't see them I crossed the timer pad -beepbeep and kept on, figured they had to go potty or wanted to see the water. And then, I saw them. Sitting on a curb with hubbs and my mom and I let out a sob. A dry one, but a sob. It was so good to see them. They didn't look bored at all, they were excited. I stopped and kissed each one and all of the sudden I just felt great. I kept singing the whole way. I was never alone the whole race there was always someone to talk to, I met some really cool people. When they would ask me how I was feeling I would tell them "I am great, my babies are here today"! It charged me up. At the 3rd 10k point they were there too. As I continued at that point I met a lady named Laura, she was a marathon maniac she tours the country on the weekends with her husband and is in a club that runs all 50 states. Her husband has MS and they are just running as long as they can, he wasn't with her, he's faster. She really made mile 22 and 23 easy. She was cool, I can't believe she does all that, I think one marathon a year is tough. I would like to share she is 60. I think she is tough as nails. At mile 23 my personal favorite water stop with a winnebago and a sound system was playing club music, I actually stopped and shook my groove thang for a moment. At this point I thought my GPS watch was not working right, I was making ok time, probably just pushed a wrong button like at Pittsburgh. I kept on, I felt great, I sang the whole marathon. And I became a cheerleader at the end. I was cheering the others I passed waving my arms. It was great.
The Finish was the best part for me. The kids were there and my mom and husband let them run with me through the finish line. The both had blackeyed susans pulled out by the root for me and they were so excited. I will never forget that. And I hope they never do either. They made it so much better than finishing any marathon could ever be. I just hope that maybe think someday they can do big things too. I don't think I can find the words to express how cool it was or how much I love them.
I just want to thank my husband and my mom for being there and helping me pull this off.
I also appreciate my in laws for watching our dogs while were gone, that's a whole other rodeo!
ps. I was faster this year. My chip time 5:12:55. Over all clock 5:14:01. last year was 5:28:31. Very impossible seeming to me, I trained like shit. But I was just on fire that day. :)
Sunday, September 8, 2013
7 days to go
Why don't you run a marathon this year?
I don't know, because it's just a lot from everyone.
I know but you love this.
I do.
We'll make it work. Come on.
Ok. Twist my arm.
It was pretty much that easy to get me to sign up for Erie this summer, I wasn't going to. I was put up to this, a surely did not resist. Since that decision life has been water through the fingertips, slipping right through my fingertips. It's funny, because I am still deciding whether this was a good idea or not and it's almost over.
At this time next week I will already be on my way back home. It's less than a week away.
I am ready.
I often encounter people that say "I don't know how you do it" and this time I agree. I don't know either. My typical day is an early rise of 5, I get my self ready, I wake my kids and feed everyone, I pack 4 lunches, I have 3 dogs to deal with, I get my kids ready, then I drop one child off in one town, and one child in another and go to work. after work we do the same exact thing backwards, pick ups, go home, feed everyone, deal with animals, bath kids, dress for bed, unpack everything, and then THEN I exercise, and bed or just bed depending on the child care situation. Weekends are more fun and laid back when I do my distance training, and I do cleaning and fun stuff with the family, and buy more food units to consume. I don't watch tv because I sit down and fall asleep. I am not complaining that's just life right now. I will keep the pattern too once the race is over and the rest is done.
But I do think this may be the last long distance race I do for a while. Kids just keep growing, it's their time to be kids. I will have 2 soccer players this year. I plan to run the shit out of this race, I am not going to be singing any should of could of would of's. This will be the one I lay it all out there. I have felt tired and "over it" for a few weeks now, the one thing that keeps me going is that those kids are going to be there this year for the first time, and some day maybe, just maybe they will think their old mom was cool.
Saturday, September 7, 2013
it's nothing full of nothing covering in nothing.
So what I am doing today? Nothing.
How far I have I run since Sunday? Nothing.
I was intentionally resting to taper down but my life caught caught in the spokes this week. I missed 2 runs this week. I couldn't get it in. There was not enough time on my scheduled days. One of those days I had a migraine, and I am not improvising this week. I already did way too many miles in one week the last week, and I have my farthest distance behind me. With all that being said, I feel lazy and like a blob of gu.
I plan to do 10 miles tomorrow and then 2 more short runs and that's all I have left before the race.
Onward......eventually!!!!
How far I have I run since Sunday? Nothing.
I was intentionally resting to taper down but my life caught caught in the spokes this week. I missed 2 runs this week. I couldn't get it in. There was not enough time on my scheduled days. One of those days I had a migraine, and I am not improvising this week. I already did way too many miles in one week the last week, and I have my farthest distance behind me. With all that being said, I feel lazy and like a blob of gu.
I plan to do 10 miles tomorrow and then 2 more short runs and that's all I have left before the race.
Onward......eventually!!!!
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
22tude
Well I am doing just fine.
I did my 22miler that I very much doubted I should do. I went at a slower pace and from 15 on I stayed on the flat walking track and off the road and trails, I did it. I was in fantastic mood. Finally I feel ready to marathon. Legs feel great.
Yeh, I was in a fantastic mood. Has something happened since then? No, not really. I am just starting my 2 week taper countdown and already I am becoming the little taco bell dog that bites people the try to pet it. I am not exactly sure why. I am still smiling, I am still civil, but my inner monologue is getting dark and sarcastic.
Same girl just tired and a wee bit more salty than normal....
Today at the grocery store I wanted to get apples. A lovely lady with an adorable child where taking up the whole isle with a giant race car cart and they completely ignored my need for apples. I crop dusted them in cold blood. Mind you I am burning off some putrid fumes from Sunday, it would make a skunk's eye water. I am sorry, mom and child, that was me. That's really unlike me, I mean, yes it's like me to fart but, that was evil intent. I am also sorry for laughing too when you checked your child's diaper for poop.
Taper has started with it's usual 'tude. Disclaimer: contents of package my be too hot to handle!
Big deep breaths, clamp down on tongue, maybe even cork both ends.
onward.
I did my 22miler that I very much doubted I should do. I went at a slower pace and from 15 on I stayed on the flat walking track and off the road and trails, I did it. I was in fantastic mood. Finally I feel ready to marathon. Legs feel great.
Yeh, I was in a fantastic mood. Has something happened since then? No, not really. I am just starting my 2 week taper countdown and already I am becoming the little taco bell dog that bites people the try to pet it. I am not exactly sure why. I am still smiling, I am still civil, but my inner monologue is getting dark and sarcastic.
Same girl just tired and a wee bit more salty than normal....
Today at the grocery store I wanted to get apples. A lovely lady with an adorable child where taking up the whole isle with a giant race car cart and they completely ignored my need for apples. I crop dusted them in cold blood. Mind you I am burning off some putrid fumes from Sunday, it would make a skunk's eye water. I am sorry, mom and child, that was me. That's really unlike me, I mean, yes it's like me to fart but, that was evil intent. I am also sorry for laughing too when you checked your child's diaper for poop.
Taper has started with it's usual 'tude. Disclaimer: contents of package my be too hot to handle!
Big deep breaths, clamp down on tongue, maybe even cork both ends.
onward.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
D-A-m_N-I-T.
I surely did complete my 20 miler yesterday. I did enjoy myself too. The days highlights included a near heart attack when In a portapotty realizing that the rock in the crack between the door and the floor had a eye and was staring at ME! I am pretty sure that was a snake, that's right I not only do I run 20 milers; I look a snake right in the eye and then fling my self out of a porta john not quite all the way dressed to find a biker smoking a cigarette and waiting his turn. Yep then I very coolly tied my skapri and trotted off, like I just always do that. Never mind the next 10 minutes of mental holy shit thoughts, I am a pro.
I ended this run at 20.39 and I had serious doubts about being super prepared for Erie. Something was just not making sense, not adding up. I thought I planned at 22 miler. I feel better trained then, why didn't i do that? At inopportune times I was thinking of this, like in bed trying to sleep, or at work not near a calendar or my schedule, I would just dust it off and think it's just another manda spazz, this is fun remember?- leave it alone. Well I was right. I was wrong! It is 3 freaking weeks to the day from today. I did my longest run too early. I CANT believe myself. I did a 20 miler too early. Endurance leaves you 2 weeks from last exertion. Ladies and Gentlemen you should never do a 4.5 hour run with out being very very very meticulous. Really I was. I did everything correct. I just did it a week early. Mom always comes last- I should be so lucky to just still be training, so many women I know don't have a hobby or even peace time, I am trying to not beat myself up too much. My boys ARE ready for school to start this week, and so am I. I have been so worried about that. And we are going camping again before the race, girl has lists longer than the days of things to do, and I have to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night for 3 weeks, it's a must.
So the plan is, a 22 this weekend, either Friday or Monday. Against my philosophy completely. I don't like longs back to back, this is inviting my creative ways for problems. Adding drama to the plot, "will she or won't she" ( da da dahhhhh-soap opera organ) I am healthy at the moment. I do feel my left buttcheek/hip area and have since about 17 miles, but I was impressed with how well I felt, toes aren't beat up, I am up and down stairs doing laundry today- no Rocky theme needed. I feel fine. And my weight! It's 162 this am. I maintained my starting weight, that means I am not puffed, I usually gain like 8 pounds. That's weird. Not really sure what to make of all this. I do think it's time for some nasty foam roller sessions, urgh. I am going to really just calm the hell down.
This is fun- keep it in mind.
Yoi.
Time for more shoes.
Onward.
I ended this run at 20.39 and I had serious doubts about being super prepared for Erie. Something was just not making sense, not adding up. I thought I planned at 22 miler. I feel better trained then, why didn't i do that? At inopportune times I was thinking of this, like in bed trying to sleep, or at work not near a calendar or my schedule, I would just dust it off and think it's just another manda spazz, this is fun remember?- leave it alone. Well I was right. I was wrong! It is 3 freaking weeks to the day from today. I did my longest run too early. I CANT believe myself. I did a 20 miler too early. Endurance leaves you 2 weeks from last exertion. Ladies and Gentlemen you should never do a 4.5 hour run with out being very very very meticulous. Really I was. I did everything correct. I just did it a week early. Mom always comes last- I should be so lucky to just still be training, so many women I know don't have a hobby or even peace time, I am trying to not beat myself up too much. My boys ARE ready for school to start this week, and so am I. I have been so worried about that. And we are going camping again before the race, girl has lists longer than the days of things to do, and I have to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night for 3 weeks, it's a must.
So the plan is, a 22 this weekend, either Friday or Monday. Against my philosophy completely. I don't like longs back to back, this is inviting my creative ways for problems. Adding drama to the plot, "will she or won't she" ( da da dahhhhh-soap opera organ) I am healthy at the moment. I do feel my left buttcheek/hip area and have since about 17 miles, but I was impressed with how well I felt, toes aren't beat up, I am up and down stairs doing laundry today- no Rocky theme needed. I feel fine. And my weight! It's 162 this am. I maintained my starting weight, that means I am not puffed, I usually gain like 8 pounds. That's weird. Not really sure what to make of all this. I do think it's time for some nasty foam roller sessions, urgh. I am going to really just calm the hell down.
This is fun- keep it in mind.
Yoi.
Time for more shoes.
Onward.
Friday, August 23, 2013
20eve
So I have not been for a run since last Saturday. I have been tired, battling allergies that never quit really they seemed so much worse. I have slept 9+ hours every night. Really not accomplished much but work and sleep. I have eaten my way I usually do, healthy and controlled. Luckily on my chair week at work, I rested there too. Around Wednesday and Thursday I started to feel the panicky tug that I should try to run and see how I feel, but I went with my gut and stayed resting. I feel that I needed that solid block of just nothing but rest. I am feeling mental ready again. I am preparing my house, my gear, getting my stuff in order for a big old run fest tomorrow.
This IS the fun part of training, the work.
Praying for a nice long run tomorrow with plenty of smiles, sweat, dirt, and peace.
Onward.
This IS the fun part of training, the work.
Praying for a nice long run tomorrow with plenty of smiles, sweat, dirt, and peace.
Onward.
Sunday, August 18, 2013
On bailing.
Okay. I HAVE changed some. Yes I am still stubborn. There is no talking to me about most, but I have learned by experience that some days it would be smarter to just go home than to continue on a long run when I feel pain coming on. Yesterday I was to complete 8 by the book I used, 10 by my standards and plans, I ended my run at 7.5 miles. I am needing a break. I am not sure whats up with me. I could be getting sick, It may just be the huge influx of pollen/golden rod allergies, or a little bit of burnout setting in. Something is funky. Last time I felt yucky I didn't listen I got schooled.
Yesterday I felt my Hip complain to my knee. I know that pain, it's IT band syndrome and it was only mild yesterday, a sign I need a break. Mentally and physically right now I am feeling wiped out. I am spreading myself a little too thin and I have letting my thoughts get negative. The last week I have been cranky, not very interested in food, and extra tired with no extra sleep. I am getting all sensitive as I do when I am beat up tired too. Everything gets to me and I get sarcastic.
At the 5 mile mark when I stopped to fill up my bottles, I reached for the tiger balm and untied my stretchy black pants and rubbed my sore hip with it, basically showed part of my butt cheek in public. I was also having to use my inhaler, a sign I am not having the best run. I took off down the road and some where before 6 miles I decided this would be wise to turn around and call it for the day.
Reasoning being 20 miler is up next, and I have nothing to prove on a 50 cutback week. This is about recovery and rebuilding. This was also a test of mental toughness. Surrendering for a day for the greater good is not something I find easy. I came home to shower, Hubbs, surprised to see me so soon, took one look at me and tears came. Yep sensitive and just tired. I laid around with my little ones and watched Disney Jr., took a nap, went to a car/plane show....moping everywhere. Hubbs took me on a nice date too, bought me new clothes, fed me good food and took me to a drive in movie. And I promptly fell asleep in our turd of a minivan and he ended up watching a double feature alone.
I woke up less upset and feeling less sore today. I can attest to feeling like quitting completely yesterday, I even discussed it with Hubbs. There is just so much in my life right now, it doesn't feel very smart at this point. That's all part of it though, it's go time, and it's almost over that's why it's getting ugly up in here. I am not hurt, just pooped, I am still going.
I have a plan. No work outs only stretching and ice until at least Wednesday, I may rest all the way up to Saturday if warranted. I will be foam rolling again, and working on sleeping. My diet lately has been good but I am going to try to extra hydrate and eat clean. I am considering not weighing in for a while. My weight has fluctuated so much over the last week even, 6 pounds last week up and down again. My current low water weight for the last 2 weeks is 162- also super upsetting. I was 156 in May!!!! My legs are enormous, I am hungry all the time, I want to loose weight not freaking gain it. I had this upsetting problem last year. This the mental shit that stacks up on the marathon CON list. My body is preparing. I am taking a mini break for a few days, hoping to cash in on the rest benefits for both body and soul.
So I bailed yesterday, and then I cried, I thought about quitting, today I am not doing any of those things.
Onward.
Yesterday I felt my Hip complain to my knee. I know that pain, it's IT band syndrome and it was only mild yesterday, a sign I need a break. Mentally and physically right now I am feeling wiped out. I am spreading myself a little too thin and I have letting my thoughts get negative. The last week I have been cranky, not very interested in food, and extra tired with no extra sleep. I am getting all sensitive as I do when I am beat up tired too. Everything gets to me and I get sarcastic.
At the 5 mile mark when I stopped to fill up my bottles, I reached for the tiger balm and untied my stretchy black pants and rubbed my sore hip with it, basically showed part of my butt cheek in public. I was also having to use my inhaler, a sign I am not having the best run. I took off down the road and some where before 6 miles I decided this would be wise to turn around and call it for the day.
Reasoning being 20 miler is up next, and I have nothing to prove on a 50 cutback week. This is about recovery and rebuilding. This was also a test of mental toughness. Surrendering for a day for the greater good is not something I find easy. I came home to shower, Hubbs, surprised to see me so soon, took one look at me and tears came. Yep sensitive and just tired. I laid around with my little ones and watched Disney Jr., took a nap, went to a car/plane show....moping everywhere. Hubbs took me on a nice date too, bought me new clothes, fed me good food and took me to a drive in movie. And I promptly fell asleep in our turd of a minivan and he ended up watching a double feature alone.
I woke up less upset and feeling less sore today. I can attest to feeling like quitting completely yesterday, I even discussed it with Hubbs. There is just so much in my life right now, it doesn't feel very smart at this point. That's all part of it though, it's go time, and it's almost over that's why it's getting ugly up in here. I am not hurt, just pooped, I am still going.
I have a plan. No work outs only stretching and ice until at least Wednesday, I may rest all the way up to Saturday if warranted. I will be foam rolling again, and working on sleeping. My diet lately has been good but I am going to try to extra hydrate and eat clean. I am considering not weighing in for a while. My weight has fluctuated so much over the last week even, 6 pounds last week up and down again. My current low water weight for the last 2 weeks is 162- also super upsetting. I was 156 in May!!!! My legs are enormous, I am hungry all the time, I want to loose weight not freaking gain it. I had this upsetting problem last year. This the mental shit that stacks up on the marathon CON list. My body is preparing. I am taking a mini break for a few days, hoping to cash in on the rest benefits for both body and soul.
So I bailed yesterday, and then I cried, I thought about quitting, today I am not doing any of those things.
Onward.
Sunday, August 11, 2013
a quick....18.
Yesterday I got my 18 done. I feel just fine. I felt a little slow being under the weather with my period but I am actually a little faster than last year. After the run, ice bath, shower and rest we went to a pig roast. Today I am doing all kinda crap I haven't been getting to, cleaning out my purse, laundry, organizing, preparing the boys for school and such. So I feel a little puffy/a lot puffy but I am kinda surprised how lazy I am not being....
I am sure I could of written a few stories about yesterday but I am going a motor on, I am nesting for the school year.
I wish you all peace on your Sunday.
Onward
I am sure I could of written a few stories about yesterday but I am going a motor on, I am nesting for the school year.
I wish you all peace on your Sunday.
Onward
Monday, August 5, 2013
a contact high of awesomeness.
Tonight. At the gym. After a plain old boring ass day. Work- typicalness, kids- up to the usual cuteness, dinner- spaghetti night, gym after kids bedtime- obligatory pms I am uglychunk set of run and weights. I really have been feeling just okay. Getting in my rut, training is going just as it should, other than a few minor physical hurdles it's been routine, I have been in blinder mode. I let myself goof around tonight and sing while I ran on the treadmill because I would rather be outside dodging bugs and sunshine than in the gym near the weights that I hate to do. But if I do legs and abs once a week, I consider that runners injury insurance so I do it. Ramble on...ramble... I made it fun, considering the every 3 step tug at my drawls, capris growing to pants...always something to do to make the treadmill less boring. I call it -keep your pants on and up and don't let anyone notice.
Looking around, on the treadmill, yanking my pants up I see a new face come in the door. It's a guy, a big guy. He's wearing a work uniform and he goes into the dressing room. He comes out dressed to work out and I pay attention. He's new. He's being shown around the machines. He's also really obese. I watch as he goes through the machines and does reps. I find myself really impressed. He's serious about this, my heart grows for this guy. I want to run over and throw my arms around him for just coming in the door, and watching him struggle brought back so much for me. I kept about my business but I watched him out of the corner of my eye. I had been working out for about an hour, and he's still here working hard, I smile at him- probably too big.... be cool manda....don't scare him.... I fight the urge to introduce myself. He's kicking ass, in my opinion at this time, he should be close to done but he's still fighting. I started to get electric memory flashes of the beginning of my battle, trying to run on the side of the road, people yelling rude things at me. This battle is one I still fight. STILL. (damn the last 5)I always felt alone at the gym. ALWAYS. I walked over. I introduced myself. I asked if he started tonight, he tells me this is his fourth night, I congratulate him, tell him I am proud of him, and hit a fist pound. I felt stupid, but he deserves the encouragement. I struggled to get in that gym door for a long time before I got up the nerve to walk through it. I kindly nod him out the door and stare off, a back of someones shirt said "We came here to conquer", yes dude we sure the hell did. Anytime you need a friend at the gym, I am it, I respect your journey and I thank you for reminding me of mine.
For many reasons I let myself go a long time ago, it's the past, but it's still resonating. I remember feeling so scared to try, but like I had nothing to loose. It was hard to see myself as everyone else did, but once I accepted that no lie I told about my weight would protect me from what others could see or make me like myself, I chose honesty and it changed my life. Tonight I watched someone embracing the same and I have to tell you I am still inspired.
So here's to big dreams. Never Give UP.
Onward.
Looking around, on the treadmill, yanking my pants up I see a new face come in the door. It's a guy, a big guy. He's wearing a work uniform and he goes into the dressing room. He comes out dressed to work out and I pay attention. He's new. He's being shown around the machines. He's also really obese. I watch as he goes through the machines and does reps. I find myself really impressed. He's serious about this, my heart grows for this guy. I want to run over and throw my arms around him for just coming in the door, and watching him struggle brought back so much for me. I kept about my business but I watched him out of the corner of my eye. I had been working out for about an hour, and he's still here working hard, I smile at him- probably too big.... be cool manda....don't scare him.... I fight the urge to introduce myself. He's kicking ass, in my opinion at this time, he should be close to done but he's still fighting. I started to get electric memory flashes of the beginning of my battle, trying to run on the side of the road, people yelling rude things at me. This battle is one I still fight. STILL. (damn the last 5)I always felt alone at the gym. ALWAYS. I walked over. I introduced myself. I asked if he started tonight, he tells me this is his fourth night, I congratulate him, tell him I am proud of him, and hit a fist pound. I felt stupid, but he deserves the encouragement. I struggled to get in that gym door for a long time before I got up the nerve to walk through it. I kindly nod him out the door and stare off, a back of someones shirt said "We came here to conquer", yes dude we sure the hell did. Anytime you need a friend at the gym, I am it, I respect your journey and I thank you for reminding me of mine.
For many reasons I let myself go a long time ago, it's the past, but it's still resonating. I remember feeling so scared to try, but like I had nothing to loose. It was hard to see myself as everyone else did, but once I accepted that no lie I told about my weight would protect me from what others could see or make me like myself, I chose honesty and it changed my life. Tonight I watched someone embracing the same and I have to tell you I am still inspired.
So here's to big dreams. Never Give UP.
Onward.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
TAPS for P.I. Warmers.
I am happy to report there has been no recurrence of migraine yet. Today I played smart. I was up at dawn for my 16. I was actually chilly enough to wear my arm warmers when I started cause the sun was just up. I was determined to not let it get ugly. I have been having some belly issues, and I really don't want or like food right now, but I was right on point with my fuels and hydrates and I even ate jerky every 5 miles.
This bellyache stayed with me the entire time. I eventually told it to wait in line, and ignored it. Until about mile 5. I had to go it would not be ignored any longer. It was a matter of asking myself did I want to spend the next 2 hours saying igottapoopigottaigottapoopgottapukeshootshootshooootme or did I want to just rip the bandaid off. I grabbed a portapotty it's foul, lets do this, quickly. I get done and there is no toilet paper. NO. 11 more miles left, expletive insert here. I look around and sigh, do I really want bumcrack chafe? Finaly snap decision I exit the porta potty one less pearl izumi arm warmer....really. Comfort is key, for days and days to come, another running first. If I told 6 years ago me that I would poop in a portapotty let alone, do what i did...I would get mad and walk away. Why do I share this? Because I am a little left of normal, not quite in the suburbs of nutty, and I thought it was funny.
I saw almost all my brady's run runner friends today. Saw some four mile crew, I smacked Jenn on the butt before she saw me, and on the way to 14 Cherish popped out of nowhere said hello and really lifted my spirits. I love that duck poop encrusted park, I feel peaceful there, its home. It's beautiful right now too. I took time to look up and around. A light rain came in around 14 and keep going until I finished, I actually thanked God out loud, he spoils me. I am healthy, legs feel great, and still in the game.
Attached is a picture of my first purple nail. This toe did not bother me at all during. It still is not tender, can't wait to see all the colors it turns. :) I am such a freak!
Onward 16.5 done
This bellyache stayed with me the entire time. I eventually told it to wait in line, and ignored it. Until about mile 5. I had to go it would not be ignored any longer. It was a matter of asking myself did I want to spend the next 2 hours saying igottapoopigottaigottapoopgottapukeshootshootshooootme or did I want to just rip the bandaid off. I grabbed a portapotty it's foul, lets do this, quickly. I get done and there is no toilet paper. NO. 11 more miles left, expletive insert here. I look around and sigh, do I really want bumcrack chafe? Finaly snap decision I exit the porta potty one less pearl izumi arm warmer....really. Comfort is key, for days and days to come, another running first. If I told 6 years ago me that I would poop in a portapotty let alone, do what i did...I would get mad and walk away. Why do I share this? Because I am a little left of normal, not quite in the suburbs of nutty, and I thought it was funny.
I saw almost all my brady's run runner friends today. Saw some four mile crew, I smacked Jenn on the butt before she saw me, and on the way to 14 Cherish popped out of nowhere said hello and really lifted my spirits. I love that duck poop encrusted park, I feel peaceful there, its home. It's beautiful right now too. I took time to look up and around. A light rain came in around 14 and keep going until I finished, I actually thanked God out loud, he spoils me. I am healthy, legs feel great, and still in the game.
Attached is a picture of my first purple nail. This toe did not bother me at all during. It still is not tender, can't wait to see all the colors it turns. :) I am such a freak!
A royal pain in the.... head.
So a few 2 weeks ago I did 14.5 miles. It was a hot day. Nothing seemed right, I felt tired and mother nature was having her way with me. It got done, it was ugly. By Monday I started to feel kinda weird, after lunch I got dizzy. Then nauseated. By the time my coworkers took me home it was the worst headache. I laid down on my bed. I did not moved, eat or drink for almost 24 hours. This bought me a stay in hospital infact, I lost a few days, i really don't remember too much. I didn't/couldn't eat, was probably dehydrated, and my headache was a migraine. I got an MRI of the brain, I was told the plumbing was fine, and was given medicine for it. I made it back to work by Friday. You better believe I was wanting to know if running made this happen, I was worried it did. And I am terrified that would come back, I really want to know if there is anyway to know what causes them. Really there is no way to know until they happen more, a touch and feel sort of thing. Because there is not a cause that medicine is aware of, but you can do things to provoke them. I took the next weekend easy. I ran/walked 2 miles with my dog. I was so afraid it was going to come back. Its long gone and I feel totally normal. It's just weird how that happens.
I thought for the longest time the term migraine was baloney, nope its a whole different zip code of pain. I am have been gansta style humbled.
I thought for the longest time the term migraine was baloney, nope its a whole different zip code of pain. I am have been gansta style humbled.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Kicking a bird
Well Happy July to Y'all.
We went away the next day after the thigh-gina monologues. I am happy to report camping with my family went off with out too much drama, well except for the two children waking up with pink eye that morning of the day we left! I love going out of town to hold my kids down to give them drops, I am sure the sounds from our cabin were that of bloody murder. We went anyway. We also took my mom and brother along for weekend and we(hubs and I) offered to sleep in a tent to make room in the cabin. It rained both nights. I slept out doors, in the rain, on the ground, more specific on a rock.And on Saturday morning I managed to fry my runners farmer tan with a sunburn. The weekend seemed to be doubtful of any chance to do my 12 miler. I felt like my butt was behind my ear all night, and I still had to sling smores and crap home on Sunday. We finally make it home Sunday, dump every bit of garbage down in the middle of the floor and I forced my rock dented ass out the door. 12 done and done.This next week was much warmer, and muggier. We had a shorter work week and had the forth of July traditions to celebrate. On the holiday the kids each sustained little injuries, that had nothing to do with fireworks! (a dog bite for one, and 20 splinters for the other). I was guilty on the fourth of having several patriot jello shots because frankly it would be unAmerican not to. Later that night we took the kids to the fireworks for the first time. We got there 10 minutes before scheduled kick off time and pulled up just to see the finale go off, they must have started them earlier because of possible bad weather, at least they had no base for comparison to be disappointed! They thought it was magical. HA!
The training is still going off without issue. This last Saturday I cracked out 7 as planned, gearing up to do 14 this weekend. I think I am a little tired just from the last few weeks. Sleeping out doors with this chick's allergies doesn't help either, I am sure my immune system had to call out the swat team to fight all the crap in my system, it's probably slowing me down. My legs feel great, the lungs don't always want to go. We have had some shitified air quality days and I have had to bust out my inhaler and walk during my run. During my long run this week it was pudding thick air. I think I got a little delirious, I didn't really relax until almost halfway through. In a fit of dehydration or something I was trotting along and a robin hopped on to the trail from the bushes. I nearly missed it with my foot. I didn't try to kick it, let me be clear, and I did not kick it. Matter of fact in my delirium I started to secretly panic. Oh my god I wonder if it's illegal to kick a bird? I like birds, as long as I am not out numbered. I almost kicked a freakin bird! That's awful, what are you laughing at? You sick beeoch you think that's funny. You need to get your ass home and drink some water. I hope a bird kicks you back. Yeah really I thought that. And sadder still, I keep thinking about it and smile a little because it is just so outerlimits.
I love marathon season.
Onward.
We went away the next day after the thigh-gina monologues. I am happy to report camping with my family went off with out too much drama, well except for the two children waking up with pink eye that morning of the day we left! I love going out of town to hold my kids down to give them drops, I am sure the sounds from our cabin were that of bloody murder. We went anyway. We also took my mom and brother along for weekend and we(hubs and I) offered to sleep in a tent to make room in the cabin. It rained both nights. I slept out doors, in the rain, on the ground, more specific on a rock.And on Saturday morning I managed to fry my runners farmer tan with a sunburn. The weekend seemed to be doubtful of any chance to do my 12 miler. I felt like my butt was behind my ear all night, and I still had to sling smores and crap home on Sunday. We finally make it home Sunday, dump every bit of garbage down in the middle of the floor and I forced my rock dented ass out the door. 12 done and done.This next week was much warmer, and muggier. We had a shorter work week and had the forth of July traditions to celebrate. On the holiday the kids each sustained little injuries, that had nothing to do with fireworks! (a dog bite for one, and 20 splinters for the other). I was guilty on the fourth of having several patriot jello shots because frankly it would be unAmerican not to. Later that night we took the kids to the fireworks for the first time. We got there 10 minutes before scheduled kick off time and pulled up just to see the finale go off, they must have started them earlier because of possible bad weather, at least they had no base for comparison to be disappointed! They thought it was magical. HA!
The training is still going off without issue. This last Saturday I cracked out 7 as planned, gearing up to do 14 this weekend. I think I am a little tired just from the last few weeks. Sleeping out doors with this chick's allergies doesn't help either, I am sure my immune system had to call out the swat team to fight all the crap in my system, it's probably slowing me down. My legs feel great, the lungs don't always want to go. We have had some shitified air quality days and I have had to bust out my inhaler and walk during my run. During my long run this week it was pudding thick air. I think I got a little delirious, I didn't really relax until almost halfway through. In a fit of dehydration or something I was trotting along and a robin hopped on to the trail from the bushes. I nearly missed it with my foot. I didn't try to kick it, let me be clear, and I did not kick it. Matter of fact in my delirium I started to secretly panic. Oh my god I wonder if it's illegal to kick a bird? I like birds, as long as I am not out numbered. I almost kicked a freakin bird! That's awful, what are you laughing at? You sick beeoch you think that's funny. You need to get your ass home and drink some water. I hope a bird kicks you back. Yeah really I thought that. And sadder still, I keep thinking about it and smile a little because it is just so outerlimits.
I love marathon season.
Onward.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
The thigh-gina monologues
Inspired by tonight's horrific trial of hand me down running shorts on a hilly trail run, here are my thoughts as they rolled out:
Well maybe this won't be so bad once I get moving faster and sweat up....Good thing I am running in the woods cause these shorts have turned into daisy dukes...noooooooo ....shit...people....quick keep your form up high like you are serious and just sprint....ouch.....no really ouch.....at what point Amanda, did you think the loose skin on your thighs had absorbed? You ass, you are moving so much flesh right now on your thighs, you might put your damn back out. you alrready knew this would probably not work out......well don't slow down now and try to pick it out you are stupid and must be punished..... shit.... more people........I am a serious Olympic grad marathon runner that LIKES chafe that's why I wear my shorts like underpants in the middle, I hope it bleeds.... ouch... it might.....but these shorts look really cute standing still.....once again you will pay now get your ass up that hill....okay maybe i will try to pick it a little....dear god what have I done....excuse me miss you seem to have started your cycle, why no sir that's just my inner thighs bleeding because I dressed like a horse's ass....running shorts are for dudes....and women that weren't almost 3dubs at one point....this run is what I would call a low point in training...thank god this is the woods....I wonder if my ass looks as congested as the front....this is really turning uncomfortable up a notch....thank goodness I am done now... wow my inner thighs are so warm now I could hatch an egg....note to self running shorts are now mandas standing around shorts....friction is not always fun......
....and scene....
onward
Well maybe this won't be so bad once I get moving faster and sweat up....Good thing I am running in the woods cause these shorts have turned into daisy dukes...noooooooo ....shit...people....quick keep your form up high like you are serious and just sprint....ouch.....no really ouch.....at what point Amanda, did you think the loose skin on your thighs had absorbed? You ass, you are moving so much flesh right now on your thighs, you might put your damn back out. you alrready knew this would probably not work out......well don't slow down now and try to pick it out you are stupid and must be punished..... shit.... more people........I am a serious Olympic grad marathon runner that LIKES chafe that's why I wear my shorts like underpants in the middle, I hope it bleeds.... ouch... it might.....but these shorts look really cute standing still.....once again you will pay now get your ass up that hill....okay maybe i will try to pick it a little....dear god what have I done....excuse me miss you seem to have started your cycle, why no sir that's just my inner thighs bleeding because I dressed like a horse's ass....running shorts are for dudes....and women that weren't almost 3dubs at one point....this run is what I would call a low point in training...thank god this is the woods....I wonder if my ass looks as congested as the front....this is really turning uncomfortable up a notch....thank goodness I am done now... wow my inner thighs are so warm now I could hatch an egg....note to self running shorts are now mandas standing around shorts....friction is not always fun......
....and scene....
onward
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Mathew 6:34
" So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own. "Mathew 6:34
Apparently I shouldn't be spazzing out, per biblical order. I am trying to roll with the punches, and I feel have been doing okay with that .
I can only admit my stomach has been starting to bother me but I think its from stress. I pledge to make this summer the summer of unplanned/detool-ed training. It is a goal and a must. Really it is my only time to not freak out about schedules, that just ain't right. This weekend I do a 12 miler. I start rolling right in to the big stuff after next weekend. I know it's a strange way to relax, but I am calmer when exhausted surely.
I got blessings coming out my ears. I don't want to miss a thing.
Monday, June 24, 2013
j u n e 2 4
So since my last blog I have been kinda quiet. Been busy with being sick, got the sexy laryngitis, both kids got it adding to the bonfire of my whining. So I apologize the world kept turning and I forgot to hold on. I got swept up with all this and forgot all about blogging, I get down and out and sometimes don't have anything to say.
During my brief minor discomfort with my family germs a really dear friend of mine passed away. Lately we hadn't seen each other, but kept in touch through social media. In fact the last time I heard her voice was on the phone about six months ago. A little bit on facebook just about everyday though. She had been disabled for the past few years due to illness. She didn't sound very ill on the phone, in December even though she was, it was shocking to hear she had passed. That morning she had posed a kitten picture on facebook....just like that she was gone. She really was a sweet person, I worked with her in my first attempt to be a working(parttime) mother. She was patient with me, know there was a chunky little 8 month old at home I was spazing over. She loved to listen about stories about my kids, she always listened. Girlfriend was funny too, we were always snickering over something. She had a great laugh, loud and happy. Her favorite funnies- Can I Haz a cheezburger? cat pictures. She knew all about style . She is the solitary one woman that I know that has owned and worn Dior mascara in electric blue, and don't get me started on purses, she just wrote the book. She would wear a fancy hat just to do it, because it looked good, you don't see that everyday She loved her grand kids. Any chance she got to talk about them she was doing it, and her face would just light up. She loved her work. She loved the residents at work she treated them like family. After I left to go elsewhere she would still message me when one of them died, just to make sure I knew. I liked her, my friend, and she'll be missed. I don't think she got enough time.She took an interest to my running through facebook. She was around when I signed up for my first race and lost my first few pounds, there from the beginning. When I did get to speak with her on the phone she would ask about it, I never felt like I was pelting her with stories she didn't feel like hearing. She always made me feel so supported. She would tell me to run some for her too while I was at it...... I intend to.
I signed on for Erie last week. For the full distance. For me. But also for her too, she'll be with me. I don't really have super amounts of time of energy for this right now but I am going to make it happen. Life if short, unpredictable, and a gift.
The race is 9-15-13.
Onward.
During my brief minor discomfort with my family germs a really dear friend of mine passed away. Lately we hadn't seen each other, but kept in touch through social media. In fact the last time I heard her voice was on the phone about six months ago. A little bit on facebook just about everyday though. She had been disabled for the past few years due to illness. She didn't sound very ill on the phone, in December even though she was, it was shocking to hear she had passed. That morning she had posed a kitten picture on facebook....just like that she was gone. She really was a sweet person, I worked with her in my first attempt to be a working(parttime) mother. She was patient with me, know there was a chunky little 8 month old at home I was spazing over. She loved to listen about stories about my kids, she always listened. Girlfriend was funny too, we were always snickering over something. She had a great laugh, loud and happy. Her favorite funnies- Can I Haz a cheezburger? cat pictures. She knew all about style . She is the solitary one woman that I know that has owned and worn Dior mascara in electric blue, and don't get me started on purses, she just wrote the book. She would wear a fancy hat just to do it, because it looked good, you don't see that everyday She loved her grand kids. Any chance she got to talk about them she was doing it, and her face would just light up. She loved her work. She loved the residents at work she treated them like family. After I left to go elsewhere she would still message me when one of them died, just to make sure I knew. I liked her, my friend, and she'll be missed. I don't think she got enough time.She took an interest to my running through facebook. She was around when I signed up for my first race and lost my first few pounds, there from the beginning. When I did get to speak with her on the phone she would ask about it, I never felt like I was pelting her with stories she didn't feel like hearing. She always made me feel so supported. She would tell me to run some for her too while I was at it...... I intend to.
I signed on for Erie last week. For the full distance. For me. But also for her too, she'll be with me. I don't really have super amounts of time of energy for this right now but I am going to make it happen. Life if short, unpredictable, and a gift.
The race is 9-15-13.
Onward.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Winefart Winnings
So this week I was sore and concerned about my legs. I rested like a good girl should.
Friday I did some lifting and went to a wedding and celebrated right. I was sitting by the cookie table and the bar, both locations were visited more than once. It was obnoxious really knowing I was going to race in the morning. Hubbs asked if I was going for a P. W. a personal worst. I really didn't think it was a great idea to run. This around the table as I get a text from the Kenyan, who is not going to make it at this point. Awful tempting to not go. Leaving the party and getting lost for an extra half an hour of driving made sleeping in instead sound good.
Some how I showed up on time. Tradition converts me to a sucker.
I wasn't registered at all. I managed a shirt in my size, with plenty of time to spare. I was feeling really really gross. Full of wine farts, and wedding cookies, gives a new meaning to 'you are full of it'. Oh I was too. I kept telling myself how stupid I was. I turn on my mp3 player to see my subscription was out on my songs...great. Go to get in the line for the bathroom there is a line and I have to deal with my space issues...snap decision- I use the mens. It was a single room with a lock, whatever, near emergency conditions call for lack of regard for others unfortunately. I mention the garbage I ate, so I am sure you can understand the fantastic smell it made. If you eat clean you really don't reek quite so much or get gassy. You eat garbage you smell like you are rotting on the inside, especially if you aren't used to it. I attempt to fan the grumpy cloud away so when I open the door it's not so intense, I fail, miserably. I give myself the shrug and smile and leave the bathroom. 2 men outside the door waiting....I smile and say, um sorry, and make a beeline for the race lineup bus. I sit here and am still a little giggly. Sorry dude.
I did not warm up. I committed to a bad race. I was going to be injury free and have clean shorts, this wasn't the olympics and I had an achy knee and a bowel like a boa-constrictor, oh well. It was a nice day and I was there, as the gun went off I relaxed into a run down the hill. Somehow I am faster than I thought, I kept talking my self into what was going to happen, I was going to show my self how to ruin a race. My stomach hurt so bad, I had horrible farts. Not just smelly, no I don't smell myself when I run gassy, but horrible by terroristic farting, just mortified I may have to turn right at the bottom of the hill and run home because I pooped. I managed to make it, and probably defend my space nobody passed me, I probably gassed them to death or at least stunned them. I don't know why I accept a glass of wine when it's given to me, it never changes, I get whine farts. Whiskey or Beer wine is prohibited. My knee wasn't bothering me at all but I was "taking it easy". I was enjoying myself and I guess I just kept plugging. At some point I started to feel okay and it became fun. I finished 28:55. Historically 3 seconds slower than last year's derby. Not too shabby for a self promised bad race. I got my first age group first place. A real first place medal. My fourth Derby. WHAT. Yes really. I was by myself so I did my inward celebratory dance.
Today I am feeling good in the knee, not bad, and thankful! Above a makeup free sweaty smirk...
onward
Friday I did some lifting and went to a wedding and celebrated right. I was sitting by the cookie table and the bar, both locations were visited more than once. It was obnoxious really knowing I was going to race in the morning. Hubbs asked if I was going for a P. W. a personal worst. I really didn't think it was a great idea to run. This around the table as I get a text from the Kenyan, who is not going to make it at this point. Awful tempting to not go. Leaving the party and getting lost for an extra half an hour of driving made sleeping in instead sound good.
Some how I showed up on time. Tradition converts me to a sucker.
I wasn't registered at all. I managed a shirt in my size, with plenty of time to spare. I was feeling really really gross. Full of wine farts, and wedding cookies, gives a new meaning to 'you are full of it'. Oh I was too. I kept telling myself how stupid I was. I turn on my mp3 player to see my subscription was out on my songs...great. Go to get in the line for the bathroom there is a line and I have to deal with my space issues...snap decision- I use the mens. It was a single room with a lock, whatever, near emergency conditions call for lack of regard for others unfortunately. I mention the garbage I ate, so I am sure you can understand the fantastic smell it made. If you eat clean you really don't reek quite so much or get gassy. You eat garbage you smell like you are rotting on the inside, especially if you aren't used to it. I attempt to fan the grumpy cloud away so when I open the door it's not so intense, I fail, miserably. I give myself the shrug and smile and leave the bathroom. 2 men outside the door waiting....I smile and say, um sorry, and make a beeline for the race lineup bus. I sit here and am still a little giggly. Sorry dude.
I did not warm up. I committed to a bad race. I was going to be injury free and have clean shorts, this wasn't the olympics and I had an achy knee and a bowel like a boa-constrictor, oh well. It was a nice day and I was there, as the gun went off I relaxed into a run down the hill. Somehow I am faster than I thought, I kept talking my self into what was going to happen, I was going to show my self how to ruin a race. My stomach hurt so bad, I had horrible farts. Not just smelly, no I don't smell myself when I run gassy, but horrible by terroristic farting, just mortified I may have to turn right at the bottom of the hill and run home because I pooped. I managed to make it, and probably defend my space nobody passed me, I probably gassed them to death or at least stunned them. I don't know why I accept a glass of wine when it's given to me, it never changes, I get whine farts. Whiskey or Beer wine is prohibited. My knee wasn't bothering me at all but I was "taking it easy". I was enjoying myself and I guess I just kept plugging. At some point I started to feel okay and it became fun. I finished 28:55. Historically 3 seconds slower than last year's derby. Not too shabby for a self promised bad race. I got my first age group first place. A real first place medal. My fourth Derby. WHAT. Yes really. I was by myself so I did my inward celebratory dance.
onward
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Preparing to age
Welp. 33 cometh. Well not quite yet, it's like next week or something.... thursday to be exact. Lately it's been CRAYCRAY with my schedule. Since I have blogged last I have done a lot, for me at least. It seems like everyday it's crammed with crap to do until I hit the pillow. Errands out the yingyang, but also fun stuff too!
I went to a concert on a Tuesday night with my BFF. It was a birthday gift from hubs. When we decided we were going to the concert around Christmas time we were concentrating on the tickets, just obtaining them, we didn't realize it was a work night/school night. The concert itself was as awesome as I thought it would be, Fall Out Boy. I did, however, notice one thing. A large population of children attending, or at least to me what looks like children. Pssst.....I might be an "old Chick". What's good about being in my thirties as opposed to my 20's is: 1. I have more money. I was poor when I was that young, and 2. I don't give a rats ass what people think about me in that situation. I wear what I want, I dance when I want to, I am not afraid of having a good time. I don't have time for all that appearance scene, like me or don't, no skin off my nose. I must have been a little cranky by the time it was over and we were going home, I cussed out some guy in the parking lot, for disregarding my Vdubs. But, a great time was had by all. But it did make for some extra fatigue last week. Above is a picture. It was hoot. Thanks Hubbs!
Then on the weekend we went camping, a busy time for me, packing, going there, setting up, tearing down, getting home.... We had a great time though. Just being us Finks. It's so worth all the hassle to see their little smiles. I ended up not bringing my running shoes because I felt a little protest in my knee the day before we left and decided it was smarter to just rest. With no sports bra and no sneaks I would have to rest....a likely story until you try and "walk" skippy. I had a pair of old crapster sneaks that were smashed down on all fronts I used to run in. That darn dog has gravitational pull. It was only 20 minutes and I didn't hurt during but the same spot has been hurting me/complaining since. Here's a picture of me the boys and Skippy dog.
I am still a little tired. Not sure if I am coming down with something or if I just need to sleep a lot more I got a little bit of clicky knee this week too. It could just be a flukey thing, sometimes I end up getting sick when this happens or I end up needing a rest. Not really sure wear that leaves Saturday, it's the Darlington Derby, and it's my favorite race. I plan to go, but I don't plan to run until then, plans change..hopefully I rest up and it's a memory. I did get out the foam roller, I didn't miss that little torture device at all, but it's a necessary evil. And that perfume I have been wearing....that's Tiger Balm.
It's kinda funny I am not at all worried about 33. I told my friend recently, I am better in my thirties than I have ever been, I am just mad at myself for waiting so long to actually LIVE my life.
Tired? I can take it. :)
Onward.
Then on the weekend we went camping, a busy time for me, packing, going there, setting up, tearing down, getting home.... We had a great time though. Just being us Finks. It's so worth all the hassle to see their little smiles. I ended up not bringing my running shoes because I felt a little protest in my knee the day before we left and decided it was smarter to just rest. With no sports bra and no sneaks I would have to rest....a likely story until you try and "walk" skippy. I had a pair of old crapster sneaks that were smashed down on all fronts I used to run in. That darn dog has gravitational pull. It was only 20 minutes and I didn't hurt during but the same spot has been hurting me/complaining since. Here's a picture of me the boys and Skippy dog.
I am still a little tired. Not sure if I am coming down with something or if I just need to sleep a lot more I got a little bit of clicky knee this week too. It could just be a flukey thing, sometimes I end up getting sick when this happens or I end up needing a rest. Not really sure wear that leaves Saturday, it's the Darlington Derby, and it's my favorite race. I plan to go, but I don't plan to run until then, plans change..hopefully I rest up and it's a memory. I did get out the foam roller, I didn't miss that little torture device at all, but it's a necessary evil. And that perfume I have been wearing....that's Tiger Balm.
It's kinda funny I am not at all worried about 33. I told my friend recently, I am better in my thirties than I have ever been, I am just mad at myself for waiting so long to actually LIVE my life.
Tired? I can take it. :)
Onward.
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