The mighty mob

Today was 20. I am showered now, I am definately feeling the burn but I am okay. I keep busting into tears every few minutes or so. I really had an awesome frame of mind today and I want to share it before it goes away. So forgive if grammar isn't perfect i am a little woosy, but if I don't write now it will leave my brain. So here goes as I chew my lasagne over my keyboard.

I was super prepared today. I bought a Nathan fuel belt with 2 bottles on it. (I fear water stops will close before I get done) I said I would never wear one, yeah I have one, its nice, doesn't chafe as much as the other one does. Because I had 2 10oz bottles on my back I took a detour for my usually boring long day. I ran from one end of the park to the other after 8 or so on the track, that's about a 5 mile detour. I did have to change shoes at 7.7 ryan dropped the old pair on the way to work, aging or not the ones I bought yesterday were murdering my feet. I put them on said good by to my hubbs and off I went down the road. It was gorgeous weather, the leaves are starting to fall a little, a perfect breeze.

When I run through the park there are some wishy washy surfaces and hills- it aggrivated some things like my IT bands, well they didn't hurt until 16 or so. As I ran past the lake I ran down on the gravely path that Sally took my picture for the paper on, I haven't been down there since then. It's too rocky infact I may have twisted my ankle but maybe not, I decided not to turn and go back that way I would stick to the road. My heart was there though, I was giving Sal a little fist pump. As I crossed by the play ground and back onto the road, I thought of the Four Mile Running Group and smiled. Back down towards the track the sun peaking through the trees, just perfect. Guy cutting grass, same guy from the super hot day gives me a wave, I smile and think wow its been a while. I let go of some things in my big old head that were bothering me for a while, and just let my mind go and roll around like marble, that's why I love distance running. I got back to the track at that point starting to feel a little tired. I am looking around for a focal point and I catch the back of this short little woman kinda swinging out her hips, her hair is done, I bet she goes to get it done, she reminds me of someone. Oh she reminds me of Judy. Its been a while since I had seen her, thinking oh yeah its been exactly one year since her viewing, because I was late to preschool orientation, which is tonight because I was there. I loved Judy, I cried at her viewing. I thought of her, maybe I stayed behind that lady too long but maybe Judy was there. The I passed the tree, I know its there I run past it all the time, it bares a  name of a distant relative  who died of an awful disease also Dave, so I put him in my heart too. I look at my Garmin, 16. I start thinking of all the people that could never or can't anymore run with me. In my imagination they are popping up behind me. Judy, then Dave, then Nanny, and Pappap, Grandma and Grampap, Uncle Donny, Uncle John,the nice guy at Monacrest that had MS I can't remember his name, but he never stopped smiling and he always tried so hard. Pretty soon I felt pushed by them. People who are still with me, My beautiful kids, my hubby, my parents, my brother, my awesome running friends, my blog readers.... all with me. We were all running together, you all behind me in a mighty mob. It was beautiful and I literally cried as I ran the last 2. It was like having a dream, an it was awesome.

Now we start the taper.

You get 2 songs that made me cry: Enemiem, Till I Collapse, and Jars of Clay, Its Out of My Hands.

Sneakypeak

I run 20 tomorrow. I am excited. My tummy troubles are resolving after much needed intervention, I am down said pounds. Going to bravely go to the gym and jump the eliptical, or I may just take it to the basement and bike in my nightgown, I may do the ladder....just because I am feeling still a little wishy washy. Haven't decided yet, but I got a lot of errands to do, I am picking up another pair of shoes to wear tomorrow, got to charge up my watch and mp3 player, pack my running belt(fannypack), and I want ALL my housework done before bed, and I want to make lasagne too.

Attached is the template for my racing shirt and my cheerleaders shirts. I spilled the beans at the family party as to what it said so I guess you can see too....I didn't say anything because I was scared it would automatically jinx me. I don't need luck at this point, I am going to just keep praying its a better source of stability don't you think? Whatever happens through all of this is not my call.

Super song: Out Of My Hands, Jars of Clay

The constipated runner.

I went out for a run today it was still dark, I even got to be first on there. My whole entire body protested. It just was not willing to run today. I did, however slow make it 3 before I had to walk a little. My stomach still hurts. Infact if I had a boat oar I would have shoved it down my throat to make myself vomit. SERIOUSLY. That's what it would take because I am not a barfer, if I could make myself puke I would have been a bulimic at one time in my youth, but I guess my anatomy saved me of that. If I puke with the flu, its pretty damn serious. I felt pretty gross last night. I was wondering why, I chalked it up to running around like a fool all weekend and being all carbyed out, while missing a run. 
As I ran I began to remember my last real bummer asthma exacerbation, the pill I take and what it does to me. I don't take it everyday because it does weird stuff to me. I have, to put it delicately, a f-ed up bladder since the boys. When I take that pill to prevent my asthma attacks, well um, I pee my pants.  Running for the most part has actually strengthened it, but somethings will never improve. I do vaguely remember some constipation, but I thought it was because I was at that point taking a break because of illness.

I started thinking about it, I take a lot of medicine right now. Allergy pill, Nsaid-for the ITband, glucosamine and condroition, a centrum women's, asthma pill, a calcium +d, and my nose spray for allergies. Thats all in my belly at once. I think I need to be on all of them, but it does bother me.  If you add all those pills on top of an already constipated stomach you aren't going to be feeling well, defeating the purpose.
I think I am only going to take my asthma pill for my long days for a while, and maybe I'll go down to the drug store for some dynamite...you know, for my colon. I took that pill for 7days in a row, I have put on 5 pounds-it has to all be poo, it feels like its in my throat. I had no idea that it would also cause this but that's the only explanation I have for it. So I will be home for the rest of the day doing laundry and housework because it needs done and eh I won't be able to get 20 feet from a toilet for a while.

Its frustrating to have asthma, I really have been working at all of this and it is my monkey wrench. I will NOT let it stop me. I guess its good I had a lousy run today, more rest for the big day wednesday- the big 20! Don't take anything of this as bitching, just documenting the whole process- brutal honesty!

Song: Rihanna, Disturbia

confession

I missed my saturday run this weekend. My work schedule changed and in the morning there was not a minute to spare. Then I went directly to a family reunion until it was time to go to bed. Then in the morning today same deal super early. I am tired. I feel like I have belly ache, probably from all the yummy pigout food from the party. I feel bad about it but I am couching it tonight and going to bed early, I really don't think any amount of fuel or hydration will pull me up off of my giant ass tonight.
Up at 5 am for a run in the morning.

Looser, Beck

Pimpin just aint easy

So after poking around on Facebook, El suggested I finish my 2.3 miles to make it a 10mile day then I wouldn't be so pissed off at myself. I took the dare. I went in my neighborhood. With my glasses on because my contacts refuse to be in my eyes, with no grease on my feet either because eh its only 2.3 right? I was careful with my lungs. I walked up the hills but I made it. I got attacked by my neighbor's adorable mop doggie at exactly the distance I needed and I stopped. 

I include bloody feet pictures from my very first "2 a day", I don't plan on making these a habit in training. PS. this doesn't hurt, I'm sort of sickly proud of it. hehe.

Song: The Distance, CAKE

Packing it in early

I would just like to say for the record this is my first time I have ever shortened a long day distance because of anything to do with me. I have missed runs for injury and illness but once I am in a run, I don't shorten if it's a long day, well except today. I am pretty disapointed. I KNEW this was coming. Infact I had to take my singular yesterday and I was just running errands with the kids, so why did my dumb ass forget it this morning? Well that's just anybody's guess. The entire run was a long asthma attack, wonderful news, my knees weren't hurting at all but I could barely run so I am not saying all better with that yet. At first pass with my inhaler I realized I was out of juice, I went to the truck around mile 3 and found another to use. It made not a damn bit of difference today. I was raining too. I so wanted to just keeping going and stomp puddles but I cut it short.
I went home wheezing like a damn clarinet(played badly), first order of business to get my nebulizer out of the cabinet. Soaking wet with rain and sweat, shivering and wheezing I fumbled to put the plastic pieces together and put the medicine in. Funny I do it all the time at work but when I need it, my hands don't work right. My mom came around the corner with the kids as I breathe in the medicine leaving out white smoke. I asked her to stick around until it passed, it did eventually loosen, leaving a ringing in my ears. She took the boys with her on some errands and sent me off to do some of mine after my shower.
Not thinking super clearly, that stuff makes me shake all over, I didn't eat a lot before I left. I just figured I would get something as I shopped. I wasn't going to reward myself for this measly peice of shit run. I went to a silk screening place and ordered 12 shirts for my cheering section(its really not that big but that was the minimum), kind of crazy but I was running out of time they won't be ready until the week before the race. As the lady asked me questions I sounded like I wasn't sure of the answer. I felt weird. I even sounded a little stupid, at this point I was confused. As I got to the truck I decide its time to eat something because I am getting dumber by the minute.
I drove back up to our town and decided I would eat Taco Bell, its been forever and its right there. I pull in the drive through and I wait. and I wait. and I wait. Its 10:20am, they weren't open yet. hahahahahahaha. Yeah now I am really lacking glucose for brain function. I drive on up to Walmart and decide to just get my crap that I have to have and then I will eat. Well I got about 3 isles into shopping and I started to really feel quite bad. Oh boy I am thinking, hold on to that cart with both hands or you might fall. Flashes in my head : Over weight woman brought to her knees in local store, or even Local woman ralphs in isle 6. I got everything I could think I had to have and headed for the check out, and there is one lane backed up 6 million carts deep. I am starting to hot flash, oh shit I'm going to faint. I decided to be rude and cross over to the express lane, yes I see you counting my groceries. 25 items go soak your head. Along with the groceries I bought a snickers, with full intention of eating it in the parking lot. I get to the truck, rip open the snickers and take a big man bite. I chew as I place my bags in the truck, as I return the cart I get a funny look from a little girl oh yeah I have a big wad of candy bar in my cheek.
I went home, and ate the rest of the snickers. I am feeling better now. I am going to rest up, the lungs will NOT be making the decision, I will as long as I can remember my medication when I am not feeling well.

Jars Of Clay, Work

Aa- ahh- AA- aCHHHHHO.

It's getting to be fall everybody. Signs are out there. I have been noticing as I stare at the track week after week, leaves are falling little by little, just yellow a little. And this week, my personal favorite, the golden rod is out. Its just getting open and showing a little yellow. Its pretty much all over every out door route I take. I ran indoors yesterday at the gym due to baby logistics. It was a good run, I didn't even have to stop to change a poopy diaper, which at the gym at that time of day it's uncommon. My son must start to miss me and shit just so they'll come and get me and I'll change him. Its actually a running joke, I know the lady is looking for me if she come to the class door way with a smile. I came home feeling okay after running 5 miles, that it really getting to feel like nothing happened.

Now this morning I have sneezed probably 50 times. I am blowing my nose and I think I am going to take my asthma pill because I feel it coming. It may be a cold, but its probably just a sign of the times. I am an allergy babe. The snot rockets really never dissapeared this summer, I just quit bitching about them. The force and volume of course was on a down trend but I have a feeling I am going back to full throttle soon. I really didn't think I could feel more dirty than I already do at this point. You know what I mean, pooping in portapotys, salt mutton chops on my face, acne, armpit rot, man sweat everywhere, wearing a fanny pack. Now we add more phlegm whoopadeeedo!

Honestly I couldn't be having more fun, seriously. I am pretty sure I wasn't dropped on my head early in life either. Bring on the nasty, I guess, and maybe some vitamin C.

Poison, Bell Biv Devoe