changeover week 1

This week so far has been emotionally tough on old momma here. I really am just typing this to get it out of my head.
Monday I was prepared. I woke up early. Did my routine, kids stuff already in the van from the night before. Outfit laid out the night before. I get dressed, I hate it, must try plan B outfits, they are worse I put plan A back on. I get the kids successfully to destination. I arrive early enough to wait 5 minutes before entering. The day was a full day of listening to movies, filling out forms and lecture. (everyone's really nice)I do like the company, but it was physically painful for mommy neversit Manda. It was over before I knew it, and I was picking up the kids, I made them dinner, we adjusted well. I even went to the gym that night for a run. I forgot my socks. What did I do? I ran bareback in my shoes, hey I made it out the door after a very tense day, I am still running. I still greased my tootsies, made it out of the gym with my feet and wits intact, I don't think anyone noticed.
Tuesday the morning flowed. We got where we needed to be. We got home. Everyone was fed later. We all kinda hung out after dinner and bath time, I am starting to notice both kids are starting to miss me even if they aren't saying so. I put them both to bed and THEN I went to the gym and did quick bike and weights. Then I had to go to walmart because I needed to buy pants of all things. Monday as I did my wardrobe changes, the pants I thought weren't going to look too bad are now insanely too big, they look like I am wearing depends and somehow are about 4 inches too long. I tried a quick hem with actual painters tape and safety pins, disaster! So at 10pm I am looking on the rack at walmart with sweaty gym clothes on. The choices are nill. We have slacks and we have juniors pants. (slacks meaning elastic waist pant with tapered leg "momjean style") So I opt for a size 13 dress pant, looking at the teenager style pant thinking oh crap we'll see about this. Got them home, they fit. Not my favorite pants but for 13 buckaroos I will use them for this short couple weeks.
Wednesday saaaaad. I woke up tired, and had to wake the kids up in their beds. Got them dressed and hubbs dropped them off. I found myself chasing after them in the driveway for extra hugs and kisses. I missed them. I didn't want to go. They seemed so cool with it, so ready to go, so why am I making this so hard? As they rounded the corner tears came. I cried all the way to work. Every time I thought about them during this long long long day I felt tears, I managed to not let them out during work. When I got in the van I started to feel very overwhelmed and beaten. I go get them kids. I feel like garbage, hubbs literally a minute behind we go straight out to eat. The little one is developing a cold now he's fussy at the restaurant. As we deal with him I see people roll their eyes as we are seated. Excuse me miss, did you seem to remember you were a child once? Oh an also maybe that this is a public place and if you want to go somewhere for peace and quiet maybe that place should be your own home. Oh and your face may stick like that someday. My son snuggles up to me, as the food comes, he coughs directly on it. Sometimes being a mom is gross.
Today wasn't as bad. My little man is definitely missing me. My older one he's asking questions, pretty much 50 forms of 'why do you have to be gone?'. Made it back at a decent time tonight. It's soccer night so I came home first and let the dogs out. Took Skippy for a quick run around the block. Not too far from my house a man told me "you should take that dog home now". I asked why, he replied " you are working that dog too hard". Wow. WOW. I muttered something about a naughty puppy needing exercise. And kept going. Honestly dude, I think it is inhumane to not run your dog a little after he's in a cage for the day. That's what's wrong with our society really, it's really not all that much. It's not like I was dragging the poor dog, he lives for a run, so kindly sir thank you for your concern. Then I procure the children, and proceed to feed them fast food(shame on me!), we return home for a pitstop then off to soccer, I get everyone out the door to the van go to start it aaaaannnnnd where's the keys? Mmm funny you should ask, on the kitchen counter locked in the house. So my mom came by and let me in so I could get to soccer in time. Then we get there and little man is out. So I sat in the drivers seat while my big kid practiced soccer listening to my little one snore, thanking god for the lull in the action.
I am tired. I think I am getting a cold or a sinus infection. My ears are tricking out again too. I type this out as a vent to help myself purge this goofy week that is still not near over yet from my system I am starting to slow down as my bendaryl I have taken before I started typing is kicking in. Hubbs called me from the road tonight, and I didn't feel like talking I feel bad. I just wish this icky feeling was something you could step out of, like an enormous pair of long depends pants. I am glad tomorrow is friday. I am not sure about the race I was doing saturday, I will have to miss a soccer game and I don't think there is any mom time to spare on the chopping block. So far I have not made it to a single race this year. I will run that day, just not sure if I will be doing it when my kids are awake for my mom guilt purposes...