Its all still there....

I find recently becoming more shy about myself. The classes i've been taking are fun, which by the way said I wouldn't then decided to go. Its so hard for me to get going these days. Even lastnight I had a child free chance to get to the gym and run, and until I hit my last mile did I even feel good. This was a new shoe night too, what? Hecks yeah the shoes are great, but I just can't get over myself lately. It comes down too, sometimes all the wieght and size, its all still there. I don't see a difference in my mind, it beats me down. I don't understand myself sometimes. I guess you never really get over body image issues. I am not going to stop ever. If I have to fling myself into that class once a week, and stare at me in the mirror to get over it, I guess I will. I still have 50 pounds to go, maybe thats part of it, this plateau will never end!!!!
I have more to say on my whining issue but theres kids hanging on my legs, I go blank.

thanks for the class paula its fun!

Really just tired.

Golden rods' out, I am feeling not the greatest. its been a week today since a serious run, i worked out thursday but i still wasn't feeling right. Its been a tax on my life just to do normal stuff. I am just tired I think, my kids are getting all boogery too, and whiney we all maybe getting sick. I dont think we'll be doing gym daycare this week, they dont want em wiping boogers everywhere. Husbands gone again, treadmil not set up. I am just going to try to catch up some house work and clean up the spot for this darn thing so again I can say no excuses. But embarassed this week about how much I didn't do. Laziness..... uh.

song: Looser, Beck

Body Combat

Hey that was pretty fun! My only peeve is the mirrors in the room. I feel gross jumping around and being able to see all my goodness flopping around. Something about all the punching gives relief I have been needing. Lots of frustrating crap in my life. I think I'll be coming back to that class I like to throw the big elbow.
This morning (ryans away) the baby woke up at 4 am, oh dang I could hardly sit up. I was thinking I was going to feel fine, yeah waist up is like petrified wood. Good ole running legs still good.
I had NO idea I would like that kind of experience at all, I was pleasantly suprised. Now I am just sore!

The hills

I did a new route lastnight, I ran 3 new hills, i don't have the mileage but it probably was about 3 maybe 4 miles. I am soooo much slower on the hills, i am feeling okay this morning but its definately something i need to wedge in to my running.
I STILL haven't ordered shoes, i am just so busy i keep forgetting then i remember when i get a chance to run.
Oh yeah I am proud of myself the BIG hill by my house, i should call it notorius BIG hill. I didn't stop in my efforts to run up it. A first for this girl< the people that live on the flat part just after it must of thought I was going to need an ambulance. Eyes in your head people this girl's got asthma, and shes fine.

Ipod suggestion: Weightless by ATL

Check check on the list

Yeah treadmill acquired! Finally my house is equipped for the winter. Its in the garage cause I need to clear a childfree zone in the storage room(future gym), but I finally got a good secondhand treadmill for running when its bad out, and gym is not an option. Now I can FORCE my husband to do it too, no excuses. Hon I know you are reading get ready. haha!
I am going to make an appointment this week to get my cholesterol rechecked I hope its improving I am really trying to fix myself.
Tonight i am hoping for the chance to go to the track tonight, Tomorrow we try Body Combat. (this could be bad stay tuned)

Woof.

So I made an awesome dinner lastnight, feeling guilty I decided to run last night. I did 3 miles, decent time, this morning I am sucking Aleve again. That right leg is bothering me again, darn it. I am starting to wonder if its already shoe time again? I know they recommend 200 miles I do between 3-5 every0ther day, Its been 2 months so what is that? Calculator says at the best thats 150miles roughly maximum. I guess I have to take in account my size and the pain I am feeling and say duh. Maybe i'll order them, then keep my aging pair just in case I get mondo blisters again.
Also I snagged a double jogger at a yard sale, before I got sick. Its ready too, so I have no excuse!

Gnarlly Duuuuude.

So No runs since the race, I did a half ass workout at the gym last tuesday, partially from nerves partially from soreness. Well Then Thursay night I got superduper sick with a fever, i guess it was food poisoning but I have barely even been hydrated even today. I lost 10lbs. thinking of running tonight, maybe we'll just go to the gym tomorrow this house is in disrepair.
So I am working on getting my legs back under me, after my gnarly sickness, you don't even want to know what happened.

Babies in the mix

So I survived yesterday taking my children with me to the gyms daycare. Um who knew it would be so damn easy?! I seriously couldn't believe they weren't screaming, or they didn't even turn around when I came to the door. This could be the start of something beautiful. I definatley will be taking advantage of this luxury. They want to go right back too! haha. We I twisted my right leg up tuesday a little before the race, then agrivated it a little during the race, now very stiff waiting for aleve to work. So It shall be today off. I had a massage yesterday, That maybe why all the sudden I feel a little worse. I am a lactic acid bubble farm. So today, I hobble around my house and try to clean, and drink lots of water.
I am going to bring back the strength training, I am admittedly skipping on to run, I shall be going back to, My legs are trying to tell me something. Maybe i'll jump into a class soon, correction maybe i'll slip into the back of a class, i'd already be in one if there were no mirrors. No body wants to see that, even me. haha, I usually need a few cocktails to dance around infront of people.
So to recap, taking my medicine, thanking god for small favors, and preparing to get down to serious business!

Race Results

I'm an improvement in process. I did 34:08 big difference. But aug 1 at 6pm after a stressful day on my feet could have hindered what I feel could have been better. I was shooting for 30 min.
I have to say I am disapointed some. And I got a good shot of reality too. I am huge compaired to the average runner. I felt out of place, I felt like I needed to get to work too.
I am getting discouraged, it has to stop. Lots of stress coming from everywhere it effects me physically just like anyone else.
Tomorrow we are going to the gym. Me and the boys for the first time. I really hope they want to play I am going to super tense< i have never taken them anywhere to a stranger in a daycare kinda setting a dropped them off. I may take more time because my right leg is a twisted up and sore, and I'm a wuss.
As you can see in the picture, everyone is really impressed.....haha. At least the dog in the background was interested.