rest day

Well its supposed to be a rest day. Preparing for a birthday tomorrow and going to a funeral(:( tomorrow. Also going to Karate later after shopping for food and schelpping the kid to preschool too. I am tired. Enough about me.
Lets talk about Autumn. I have called her the Kenyan before. She is not Kenyan, I'm not sure of her nationality but I am sure its closed to good ol' Heinz 57 just like all us western PA residents- a little of everything! We met at the Darlington Derby last year. My first race, I was nervous. Looking around for people to stand by. She was all by herself and she wasn't nervous. Infact, I watched her tie her shoes, and look around smiling. She seemed like she might be nice. We got to talking after the shuttle dropped us off at the start and we lined up together. Then after the race is the next time I saw her because she hauled ass down that course. I was really impressed. She placed that day in her age group, accepted her medal with a huge diet coke under her arm. And she actually talked to me. We face booked later after that, I was excited to have a friend that didn't think running was boring. She actually understands how great I think it is. We live in different towns and lead different lives completely but she is one of my favorite people. Thanksgiving was the next time I saw her, we ran the turkey trot together. It was a good race! She of course took first in her division, and me 2nd! It was the high point of thanksgiving for me! We have continued to comment back and forth on facebook and just recently ran St. Patty's day race together. She of course beat me by like 5 minutes, and took the most lady like finish photo. So thats 3 times in the last year we have physically seen each other. Every time we run together she beats me. She is faaaast to me thus making her alter-ego The Kenyan. (I don't have one yet). We have planned since Christmas to run Warrior Dash together, I have been looking forward to it. Yesterday she announced she signed up for the Erie Marathon, you can't contain my excitement in any container. I am sure we are both finishing for different reasons, but this brings up my comfort level a whole notch. It's not a finish without the Kenyan waiting for me at the end :). I can't wait. Hope I didn't embarass you, I'm just so proud.

Song: Where is the love? Black Eyed Peas

wah burgher and french cries

It seems lately I am ordering a wah burger and some french cries so I am going to try to keep this as up beat as possible because even I, am sick of listening to me...
Nike +: I am thankful to you because I had no idea of how fast, far, how long or how many calories I was burning and the last 4 months have been awesome SOMETIMES knowing what I did and being proud of it and giving me confidence to sign up for an MFT. Now, with that being said, go piss off. I can't believe you lost 6.5 miles of cement legs today. I couldn't have wanted to go less, but I went and you didn't...bastard. You are not condusive to real training, but as a baby distance runner you did the trick. I have out grown you, even when I do where the magic Nikes, you decided I'm too much for you. So in closing to review, you suck suck suck suky suck, piss off.
I really didn't want to go today. My youngest is sick again. started on antibiotics yesterday. Cross training had to be cancelled. He hasn't slept in days through the night and neither have I. I am a huge worrier. I have to check on him all the time when he is sleeping. so the fancy science is: if you run you have to sleep to run well, or you run like garbage. Today it felt that way. Everything felt tired, slow and filled with lard. My scheduled run was 6. THANK GOD. today felt harder than the 12.12. Next week is 10, I hope things smooth out before that. I tried jet blackberry gu today. it has 2x caffiene, i know i didn't have to gu today but by the third mile I was going to the truck for it. That helped a whole heap. No shitting you, that's why they put caffiene in there, for days like today. Also added some new songs to my playlist, some suggested by friends(thanks Sally!), others stumbled upon, but that helps too. Today 3 songs help push my cinder blocks to the finish they are:
The Dog Days are Over, Florence and the Machine
Magic, B.OB.
Longshot, Kelly Clarkson
ooh and before i forget I bought this hiddeous yellow pair of balega socks, when i got into the Ice bath today, water turned chicken peep yellow! :)

Nike + love hate relationship is dipping south

ARRRHHHGHGHGHGHGH. I really didn't feel like gyming it today for my run but I went. I feel fat and nasty because us girls just do sometimes but i went. I gave it what I had and I was pretty fast today, infact my crappy weekend at work helps my speed. I beat up the treadmil good. Look down nike plus actually went backwards on mileage. then never turned off! So when I take it out to sync it, my pace is 73:28. What the hell did i bother for? I knew it wasn't going to work but Ryan trying securing my bean pod better to my shoe on the asics, and honey yeah that doesn't work either so BUY ME A GARMIN> pretty please. I like my gym didn't want to be thrown out so I didn't rip off my nike band and wip it out onto the floor at someone. I never thought I would become a gadget snob but I think I just did. The run was awesome I want credit for it damn it. It was 50 minutes, over 4 miles maybe 5 but those treadies aren't correct at the gym either.
My new asics actually are so comfortable I put them in the same realm as slipper comfort with the cushioning. Although The new blister has not backed off and I think it may have grown today. NBD, happens all the time with most shoes, it will settle down soon. I like pain anyways.

Back to feeling fat. I am still wearing the spandex today. I have heard people innocently say wow that spandex shouldn't be on big people, no knowing my inner turmoil with snapping that crap on and prancing around in it. I hate it but it is a nessesity . I run in it, I work out in it. I really know its not attractive, but heres the thing, I am not trying to make my self attractive its about sweat, stink, work and enough friction to start a forest fire. Next time you say something cute in public just remember everyone can hear you, and even if you don't mean to some things can hurt. I think especially as a "good person" you should make it your mission to always encourage and not pass around negativity. So lets keep it clean, chin up all chubbies we are in this together and we are all beautiful.
Song for imperfects: F*n Perfect, PINK

Chillycheekin it

Boy I do have to say after our recent warm up 20-25 degree run sucks! I have been in a cranky pants mood for a couple of days, probably natural stuff happening there, and the extra time i worked late last night that was not a rewarding thing this time. This morning I get up, eat, bathroom, and snap on the old underarmor cold gear. get all set up with my gear. get in my beater truck and head to the track cause i just don't want to deal with hills today. I just want to run, no nothing else. I get down there, its full of people. Something is happening down there. wether its boyscouts or ROTC but there was no where to park, so I turned around. I went home to get my camel back, did and hit the streets in my hood. Just want I want, gravel, traffic, hills, frozen camelback. I actually used my less than stellar attitude to my advantage. no stopping on the hills. Went further than normal, explored new terrain, found a porta-John(hallelujiah hope its still there in july). I didn't use it but nice to know there is a potty a mile and a half away from home! Let my quads fly down a hill, had to walk after i got to the base my legs were flying! Met some very fat smelly but friendly golden retrivers at the base of bastard hill, they made me stop for about 2 whole minutes to pet them before they would go back in there yard and I could get out of site to trot again. at one point I had to feel my right but cheek it felt funny, it was just shakin it the way it always was but it was pretty numb so it felt wierd! I guess, freezing, pissy, pms is the gas you need in your tank to get you over the hills.
this workout on my schedule was supposed to be 50 minutes. It was 47:46, I made better time in my hood today than I projected. And came home and appologized to Ryan for my "kindness" this morning. I hope today at work is a better evening, I may break the exercise bike in my basement next! Beware the puffy woman wearing the scowl! But for now I am smiling.

Awesome PMS running song: Dead in a grave, Rev Theory (watch out now its explicit)

I got punked

So yesterday evening I was talking with my husband about getting a Garmin Forerunner and how on amazon they seem to be onsale. This morning he came around the corner and said " I got you a little something", I was so excited until i realized it was a box for our gps we have had for a long time, he said " you can ducktape this to your arm". Hardy Har Har. Thanks a lot fartface. It was funny though. You get a point for that one. But remember April fools is coming. I am awesome at pranking you. Remember the rubber snake in the house plant? Or the glasses of icewater on you in the shower. Oh yeah its coming so look out now!
Today i did some BodyPump, and 20min of eliptical. I am working 4 hours tonight extra then I am waking up early to hit the road for a 50 minute tempo.
Todays song is for Ryan(poohead) : Damn it feels good to be a Ganster, Ghetto Boys

Margins for error

Well got my 9er in before the rain. I learned a couple things today. 1. Nike + doesn't like asics with a beanpod. I ran 2 miles and glanced at my wrist it said .60 miles. SIGH. So i keep going and lost track around 6 miles. It was 106 minute run. So do the math pace of 10/m thats 11 miles, pace of 11/10, pace of 12 around 9. I really DISLIKE not knowing exactly. I know I took one pee break, one tiny walk break and stopped every mile for a sip or gu and a sip. I am hoping I did 10, I was feeling great today. 2. Asics gt 2160s are light, and helped my weak left ankle from turning out when i got tired. my knees feel great. I did however get a blister in a new place, its not horrible though. Oh well, still keeping em in the rotation they do the job I got em for! 3. Chocolate outrage tastes pretty damn good. But be sure that you wipe your mouth off well, it looks like poo on your face :). 4. Lemonlime gu doesn't taste so great. 5. somepeople don't get it. It was crowded with runners and walkers and mommies. Why someone thought it was the perfect place to have a pipe and smoke it, while walking. Really. COME ON REALLY. Now I know other people read this, I am not going to really go off. But when I came home I had to spell the word I had for describing this person in front of my kids. It begins with a D and ends with a k. Ha HA. Seriously dude I had an asthma attack because of you, next time i will snot rocket you really. 5. I think I over dressed, its warming up!
This afternoon we thought a shopping trip would be a good way to keep the kids from wearing me out. I went to a coffee shop and actually asked, can I have something like really caffienated? I mean like shaky caffiene okay? I drank it and felt like I needed to bleach my teeth. Good thing, went to a local bulk store and my son had a tantrum and puked on the floor. Then insisted that I carry his 35lb bum all over the store, I did, he was quiet and snuggly, but you better believe it was physically taxing. I was happy when we got to leave that store. I am happy we are home, I am so tired.
I am still smiling! Any day is a good day even when its not perfect if you can get your run on.

Song suggestion: Kelly Clarkson, My Life Would Suck Without you

Woman be shobbin

So yesterday it was beautiful outside. In the afternoon I packed up the kids and took them to Lloyd's Running store(by way of the park) to finally get the alternate shoes he suggested if i ever signed up for a MFT. He got me into a pair of asics. They are comfy, I will try em tomorrow for the 9er. I had to get stocked up on some gu too. I am going to order some once I find something to stomach. Right now I have No favorite but I detest tangerine and pineapple. And I had to get a couple tops.... Long story short I love to shop, I love running, its a good thing my kids were getting antsy and we had to leave. Anyone who goes to Lloyd's, he's training for an ultra in october. Thats 100 miles. Go marvel at the spectacle. He told me he lost 60 pounds before! He even took one of those awful hydration belts down to let me try it on. It closed on me waist but I couldn't bring my self to get it. Go Lloyd GO!
Today was cross training yuk. Bike, and weights. Blah.

Song suggestion: SING, My chemical Romance

Does a Bear piss in the woods?

Welcome new followers, you continue to make my day. I am blown away by the support in person, on face book, at work, even at the gym when I really felt like wearing a cheap disguise. Thank you I am honored. It was nice to meet some new ladies at the gym today also, sorry if I repulsed you with my stinky-ness and snotty wheeze! Its not pretty, a reason I like outdoors, the stink stays behind you! And for anyone at the gym, I don't talk to myself on the treadmil, that is singing. Sometimes I even get a little wag in my stride cause I start to almost dance with really good music, I really enjoy tunes. I don't mind if people see me do that too, they are already watching all this greatness(skin,fat,muscle, sweat,stink, encased in underarmor) bob up and down, so what if they think I am goofy. But I thought I would explain for my new friends on the treadmil beside me. Ooh also, I have a bruise on my right eyebrow, temple, and eyelid. The 3 year old was doing suicide bed jumping to wake me the other day. He's fine I look silly.

So I got my "fuel belt" in the mail. Its an amphipod race thingy. basically elastic band with tiny little nerd pouch for gu's. Um Okay It looks awful. I suspected it would, I am prob going to wear it anyways because its light and it doesn't move. But I dread it, going to be self concious, I don't have a waist yet and people often ask me if I am expecting. No Its just ugly left over skin. Considering wearing it rambo style. I have the camelback and I did wear it last week for like the first 4 miles. It gets heavy and affects posture. I don't think a belt with bottles will fit at all....Still stumped.
Then the other thing. I met someone that ran the Erie Marathon (Manda's MFT). I was picking her brain and I asked about porta-potty abundance. She said you know, I saw people just run up into the woods and just go. REALLY. well there's no chance I could get everything down and up and cop a squat. I have heard people talk about running skirts for that reason. I got way to much action in that area. I will probably be doing capris. The other thing I have heard. Some people in my situation just go. By just go I mean they just ...go. Fun things to think about.
wednesday is 9miler per coach Jenny I go back to week six.

Running song suggestion: Somewhere over the Rainbow, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes

The paper is out

The headline reads, " Overweight, woman runs to complete her great ract". yep it even has a typo. I saw this at midnight when I got home from work online. I think the title is a tad harsh, well its truthful. I stayed up for a while last night. I shed maybe 2 tears over thinking about going to work later, in a nursing home, where the sunday paper is king. But its okay I guess. I talked to her for almost 3 hours. I was kinda hoping it was more about running and less about my scale in its bad-back (winkwink). Both of the women I met through this experience were nice people. Hopefully someone reading this article will feel comforted in the fact they aren't alone.
Yesterday the St Pattys day run was fun with Autumn. It was 5k and hilly my time was 32:11 I think I would have done better if my lungs would have let me. Usually any time I run my breathing sucks until mile 2 and then my lungs let go and let me use them. It was nice to hang out with my running buddy, and be racing again! I think if my schedule permits we need to jump into another 5k soon cause I could have done better, maybe a flatter one! I love the shirt from this race!

Song: Bare Naked Ladies, The old apartment

So glad I switched to wednesday!

In lieu of double digits and how baaaad I felt working eight hours after running 10, I have switched my long day to wednesday. Thank Goodness. So I had my interview, and I was totally honest. I couldn't give her any before pictures that was just too much for the newspaper for me at this point. I actually cried a couple of times just talking about all the stuff I like to repress. I still hate admitting how much I weigh, but I know if I don't tell its so easy to slip up. I don't care if I let my self down, but I don't want to let any body down and I don't like being a quitter, especially when things seem impossible.
Yesterday the photographer had me run for pictures. She was really nice, infact I may run with her someday. I told her please don't put a "fat one " in there. She was really sensitive to that. Then after that running back and forth in the mud for like 10 minutes I went back to my home, the track. And I snorted out 12.12 miles! It felt great infact i jumped up and down at the end and i didn't care who saw it. After the ice bath, and the shower I got a little nauseated had a hard time eating. but i did. I also used compression socks after. made a huge difference with the swelling. and they feel really good after something like that. its hard to explain but it does feel great. i had some left over ones from pregnancy, they aren't special runners ones. I feel okay today my quads are sore and so are my glutes. aka the thighs and butt. but i am hanging in. I will catch up on laundry cleaning and get groceries, all the while enjoying the boys. next week i track back to week six i do 9. coach jenny recommended i do 6-9 twice so i don't over train cause the marathon is farther away than i thought.
The song i played over and over the last mile: Pretty Girl Rock, Kerry Hilson

Moooooooom!

Imagine being woken up by your small kids watching the wiggles when your husband says :I have something to tell you, Someone for the times is going to call you to interview. I told him I can't get up because I have just frozen to the bed. My mom called the local newspaper gave em the blog address. I am being interviewed tomorrow, and they will be taking pictures during my long run. Oh dear lord what is going on here? I don't think I am super great or much to talk about. I figure since I blog for the whole universe to read, I guess the local paper where everyone in my life reads is okay too.
Smile for the camera stand up straight right? I will be blushing for six months. This will definately help the training for mara-fricken-thon. No where to quit in town now!
They said it will be in Sunday's edition of the Beaver County Times. Lets home small back corner smaller than the coupons....
(Gnarles Barkley, crazy)

*whine*

Still sick. snotrocket jets clogged, will not be running today either! grrr. Forced to slow down, can't complain its been nice to see my family a bit more this weekend. I go tomorrow sick or not, i run with kleenex box necklace.
song: I got the fever, James Brown

Damn theses ears

So I'm sick. Ear/ sinus infection. 100 fever yesterday. Not only did I wimp through 27 minutes of stupidity starting to feel it coming on, now I have missed another training run. I am on antibiotics. At least I can understand the weakness part of how I was feeling I was starting to think I was punking out. Anyways I am just waiting to get out there agian. Long day has been moved to wednesday. Thankful for a commintment from my already over scheduled mother to help. That was awesome mom. Thanks it means the most.
I have been spewing the news out to everyone about my commitment to the marathon and I got one of 4 reactions. 1. the reaction I wanted: WOW YEAH AMANDA thats awesome good for you! 2. The "you're crazy" reaction. -they don't say much but they are judging you on all levels and sizing you up, looking for your face on mugshot monday in the paper from now on. 3. They don't know what it is, what it means, and think maybe you're crazy and full of yourself. and 4. The Yeah right reaction-they think you are nuts and you'll kill yourself trying and then quit. I have decided now that I am just not going to talk about it much. Maybe even not so much on Facebook... Because maybe I might be being an ass about it. I am really nervous and excited, I am dealing with that and trying to move on. I'll just keep on keeping to myself. So I don't know what I expected anouncing the marathon, but the result was NBD. (no big deal) so we train and we move on and we talk about it only when asked about it.
Song: Ben Folds, Philosophy

Large Marathoners? Anyone? Really?

So I have been super freakenfreaked about the marathon. I have been getting into my subscriptions of Runners World and Women's Running. I have been devouring books, missing sleep, I mean really freaked. Today that came to a head if you will. I got out to the track after horfing down a bagel at lunchtime, its 42 and raining with sideways wind. I get down there and its cold. My fear of injury from all the crap I have been reading me has me super honed to my left knee cause it swelled a little after my tempo run monday. I have been obessing in my head since then. I trotted about 2.7 miles and my stinking mp3 player broke. Probably from being wet. Then my asthma and my belly started at the same time. I turned around headed for the truck. Nothing, nada hurt on me. I was just tired, and nervous and not at all having fun. So I went home. The whole drive I kept telling myself to turn around dumbass! What is wrong with you? Marathon=discipline. Guess what I just needed a break. I took it. I was worried about my baby, he's sick. My older boy wasn't feeling to great attitude wise either. My mom came over to watch the kids with a headache because she vowed to help. All of that on my back plus nerves, fear of the unknown, and an impending puke cause me to give up for the day. I went home I cried in my ice bath to my mom appologizing for myself. Yep I said ice bath for 27min run. It actually is feeling pretty good to me. Maybe if I torture myself with the IB I will be paid in full for more injury free time...Whatever. today sucks. this week has sucked too, not a lot of sleep with a crying kid in the house. That stuff matters more.
I went home an finished Marathoning for Mortals, I am following their plan. I think I need some more books to read. I am consumed with this image from those magazines of skinny runners. I will never be that. I wouldn't mind, but I am what I am. I looked on the computer for some kind of kindred support. That and the training book I just read askes you to consider walk/running in stead of running if you are 20-40 overwieght. Type in fat marathoner, chubby marathoner, plus size marathoner you'll come up with not much. Infact besides the Clydesdale/Filly site there is NADA. That kinda makes me want to do this even more. It makes my fur stand up a little on my back! Is this going to kill me or are big fit people just swept under the carpet? I know there has to be someone who is 5'5 and 198 pounds doing this! If there isn't then here I go damn it, watch me work. I'll still read my mags but I don't think I'll be happy till I have my own article! I looked all over those books, no meaty anybody, no biggins. Really? Lots of feelings today. Deep penisve stuff that messed with my head. It goes out the window, and it becomes another "mile" in the log.
Song: Creep, by Radiohead
then play: Mama said Knock you out, LL Cool J

Stressed and a little puffy

So I did my 10miler on saturday. I enjoyed some triberry gu if you want to call it enjoyment. I kept a decent pace I felt good no major aches when I got done, did my icebath and then worked 8hrs on my feet :(. I felt at the time puffy I figured the fact I drank 2liters of fluid in the course of 10miles 1 lter sport drink and the adrenaline and not peeing I refelexed a little swelling. And when my feet and ankels where swollen at the end of the night figured that much because that happens a lot at work. I am wondering about this even my face felt a little tight. I thought maybe it was the cold 44 and 100 percent raining, i was soaked. Infact I put on a dry sweatshirt and hat for my icebath. Took sunday off and worked 8hrs. Yesterday I ran 35min tempo with a poopydiaper break(at my gym they come to get you) and then a 20min tempo with 2 pickups. I was scheduled for 6 but I couldn't do anymore I was afraid of embarassing side effects such as pukeing. last night my right knee got a little tight. No pain I just noticed tightness. I iced it twice and this morning it feels okay but it might be swollen a little under the fat, i dunno i just know my knees always crack when i bend to sit and the right one isn't. I guess i fear the worst always but I am taking today off even though I could be doing alternative cardio just to give it time to heal. I think until september every run with be followed with an ice bath if logistically possible unfortunately Its no fun but I do always feel better after. I saw runners in a magazine wearing compression socks. I am going to research this, maybe this is something I should be doing? I will definately give dr. s a ring if it continues.
Lots of mileage and strength training this last week. I gained 5 pounds but now my bra doesn't fit. Dude I am so screwed up. I wonder if the marathon has an over 200 catergory? I headed there if they do.....
Can I just say I enjoyed saturdays 10miles a lot. Everytime I felt my self slowing I would say to myself "Mara-frickin-thon" and keep going. I think I just found my mantra. I will be printing it on something I wear during the race and if I don't do that I will be writing it on me with a sharpie. Say it with me on the sidelines; MARA-FRICKIN-THON!
Trying to let the butterflys of signing up for this huge task The song today is : Jars of Clay: Faith like a Child

I'm commited, so now commit me.

So...big news. I have had something stirring for a while now. A little voice inside egging me on. I finally snapped. I just looked at a training algorythm calculated weeks from my current mileage, and looked for the nearest marathon when I will be ready, and BOOKED the sucker. I will be doing 26.2 in erie pA, 9-18-11. Save the date, pray for me. I am scared but I totally got this. Seriously I CAN. this saturday
I do 10. (with an icebath) this morning i got up at 5 and took my brand new camelback out for a spin. Little did i know it was 15 degrees. I just thought it was cold but I shrugged most of it off because i wake for no body but employment and children and i was tired. I couldn't sleep either, i made myself sleep on this marathon thing. Yesterday if I thought of myself finishing and would burst into tears. I told my mom this morning my plans and i cried then too. Its just a huge goal, and dream. So I trounced down the driveway thinking damn I am tired, and its cold. Now I understand it was too cold. I went 2.75 in my rolling hilly neighborhood. Finishing with bastard hill. You could seriously lay down if you lean! Right after bastard hill is a very scary german shepard, but friendly that was off a leash. I had to remember to no flail my arms and give a broad firm stance so it wouldn't jump. But its owner was up and leaving for work and got him off me! The camel back was great I will be taking it for long days. I will NOT be taking it in 15 degrees. the line freezes! I just really need to go and "think" about this. I decided I am ready to take the challenge and squash that shit.
Please remember me in your prayers I don't think I have ever stuck my neck out so far. And I don't think there is much I have wanted more. (husband, kids excluded from this statement they are everything, and if they need me to stop i will stop with no complaint or regret)
Song: Rocky's Theme

the good and the bad

today i had a friend be nice enough to offer to take the kiddos while I went to the track, how Sweeeet. So I jumped at the chance and ditched the gym. Get to the track after what seemed to be a pretty strange little day, after a quick mustache wax a mommas shop. (with my skin I puff up to have a imaginary fluffy, shiny red mustache) Happily I park my van, ahhh my people... I get down to the track set down my drink and turn on my mp3 player. It doesn't work. Its DEAD. Oh the horror. Beautiful, sunny 44 degrees, wonderful track, no happy tunes. Damn. Well can't waste it so I just went and listened to myself wheeze for 3 miles. I can't stand it. Funny I ran with my phones on cause i didn't want to get them stolen, as you run past the annoying people you get to hear what they are talking about and what some of them say about you. So I trotted down the track, fluffy red upper lip, cranky attitude trying to do my breathing and convince myself that it sounds like "we will rock you". I call it quits at a little of 3 miles/5k. Nike plus today only kept the time correctly for me. 29mins 15 seconds! So I guess we'll take crunchy tuesday today for what its worth, at least my buddy wanted me to run, and watched the boys, and that time is a personal best beoch! HAHAHA. I guess I will not die with out my tunes, but I prefer them!
Song: Pretty Girl Rock, Keri Hilson (why not?)