Recovery after 16

Every long run is fun for me, yes fun. Even this last one that ended ugly. The not fun part is living until the run is recovered from. I can say that yes, on wednesday I laid in my bed again and watched tv. I put the BenGay on right away though, even before I blogged. But I never did sleep. I ate, in my bed and watched tv. I am seeing a pattern here that when I get like this tv is sooooo funny. Maybe its because even my emotions are over tired and funny its just hilarious. But the GasX comercial that has been on for like a year or more of the job intereview, seemed hysterical. I was crying laugh tears, so I thought good medicine better watch AFV too, so I did. I did catch the end of Bill and Teds excellent adventure, but somehow I didn't laugh, huh imagine that :). (snicker snicker).
Later that day we had a make shift birthday party for my mom. I had made a cake in advance and we had ordered a pizza or 3 for us to munch on. I made it through the day but not with out a couple tears. Trust me this is the part that you soldier through, taking care of kids. I was tired and sore and dissapointed with my performance. I forced my self to eat, I felt nauseated.
The next day not so bad. Sore yes, tears no. I am encouraged that the knee talking back is going to be fine. We went to a church camp to visit family. Complete with blistering heat of 92, and hills everywhere, toting 2 kids that are wild. Yep I came home spent. Ryan actually told me to go to bed. When I did I began to notice I am turning to stone. I gots the lactic acid buildup. It sucks my quads are stiff and my shoulders always get lumpy. I need a massage and lots of water. I may spring for one soon. I am still feeling not much like a run or cross training so I am going to take today off too. I am going to be outdoors again today with the kids, hopefully with my own spot in the baby pool.  The plan for the week is an iffy for saturday's run. Monday run, tuesday legs lifting cross training, wed 8 mile long run and then Kennywood with my brood, thursday off, friday cross train lifting or bike, and saturday run.  I think I am going to have some more coffee now.

Sore song: Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying, Fall Out Boy

Hidee Ho there wall!

Today I got through 16. but the last 2 miles where super ugly. The first half was awesome. In fact most of it was awesome. I am pretty proud of how my time was going by the time I reached 13 even. If I could maintain that the whole 26.2 I'd be having a great day. But alas, I was passing a couple of walkers in the turn on mile 14 and I felt my right knee get wonky. Yes wonky, apparently on daily mile that's what you say instead of hurting. So I walk a little stop and stretch and keep going REALLY REALLY slow. Then its fine for about another half mile then I have to wobble walk stretch again. Eventually at 15.25 I wasn't feeling too joyful as I usually do- this really hurt. I paused Flux, to stretch again thinking in my head I should just stop. I stretched took a few steps and thought; Nah, I can get there, I need to I haven't ever even walked this far before. So at this point I walked/hobbled the rest of the way. I get there and see my garmin is still at 15.25. I have no energy for smart mouth, or swears I just sob. Boogers everywhere. I cut across the half of the track to my truck. I stretch very carefully, sob, and toss my sorry ass into the truck, snotty sob. I am hurt, I pushed myself infront of all those people at the track to tears and I don't even get to sync the whole work out. I was probably a little delirous. 
I got home Ice bathed, horfed down some protien and lunch and now I am chillin with my boyfriend, Ben. (as in BenGay)
I didn't have the run of my dreams today but I still walked away knowing I got it done. I am going to be taking it easy for a few days on my wonkified legs, then  I will be counting the seconds until the 18 er in 2 weeks. I want to knock that shit out of the park now. I know I will too.
Today I sustained a blister on just about every toe somewhere, they aren't too bad. I did also recieved blisters on my nips-yeah a first for this girl. Its probably a bad idea to keep my inhaler in my cleavage. And got some good old chaffe in the unmentionables. I am now going to try to lay down and nap, but I see Bill and Ted's Excellent adventure is on tv. Haha as much as I don't want to watch it, I don't think I will be able to sleep so I think I'll have to endure it :).
Next week, I do the 50 cut back which is a mere 8.

Happy Birthday Mama! Thanks for taking the boys so I can do this!
Song for Mom to point her finger too: Aretha Franklin, Respect

On fear

I was wasting my brain today on facebook and I came across a video :http://youtu.be/jnqpYKx8Fvk.

It must just be something in the timing of my training but I started bawling. It was because I thought of my kids. Am I scared of not finishing, nope. Just scared of screwing them up, scaring them, scaring them for life. At this point I am thinking this isn't best thing to for them to watch. I planned the whole time up until this point to have them there, I wanted them to see me finish. Now I think that maybe a little selfish of me, because I am not a hundred percent sure I can finish and make it look pretty. I have already made a pact with myself to keep running if I barf on myself or if I poop my pants. I am considering keeping them away. I do believe I haven't even finished my long long runs yet and am already suffering from taper madness. I told you guys, anxiety out the waahzoo. Any thoughts?

Till I Collapse, Eninem

divine intervention

Got up at 5 this morning to run. Got my peanutnaner taco in me, drank my coffee, got my sports bra on with a bit of a fight and just when I was about to leave... thunder, lightning. God's little way of saying go back to bed honey. I wiggled back out of the angry bra, put jammies back on, and listened to my lord. So I tried but I was all gassed up and I couldn't sleep. As I laid there I got 3 Charley horses, probably product of hot temps at work and my time of the month wiping out my electrolytes. Watched the news, talked to hubby, made his lunch and put-zed around until the gym daycare is available at 9am.
At the gym, run was just okay. I gu'ed before and at 30 min mark because I knew I was depleted from the get go. I dislike the mill, I really do. I did have a good moment though, About 40 minutes in I turned it up 1 mile an hour higher than usual comfort level and let it rip for 5 minutes, it felt good, really good. why? Because I was imagining explaining how piss poor I was feeling, how much I didn't want to be there, and how weak I was feeling and I got pissed off. 
Might I offer an apology to all the gym patrons who's nose I held hostage for 55 minutes because I was running in front of a giant wind tunnel fan. In fact can I get a moment of silence for their nose hairs?....*silent,bow head*....okay moving on :)

The song of the day(a fav): Somebody to Love, Queen

The rest of the week in short.

1. its hot.
2. friday at the gym, 1 hr on the bike, it was hot. It sucked.
3. saturday run in the hood. miserable humidity. slow slow pace. pissed me off. sprinklers at school are fun to run in.
4. hate my hair, want to shave my head.
5. I feel fat.
6. i am cranky.
7. its about that time for me to be cranky.
 8. i am sweating right now.
9. i am hot.
10. only excited about the long run this week 16 on wednesday. woo freaking hoo(serious face)
11. its hot.

song for you: Uprising, Muse

swimming in soup

I knew today was going to be humid. I saw in my running groups, people bailing on their outdoor runs today for a/c treadmills. Feeling less than stellar lungs this made me nervous. I have been having little problems with my lungs all week, I have been taking my singular pill that I hate to take because it's preventative. Lacing up this morning while its still dark, I look up at the news heat index today of 107. I arrived at the track a first light, I was the first one there. I am thinking get this over with it's only 8, then you can go home and have some carbs. The fog never lifted. It was misty and thick and at mile 5 I had to stop walk puff and then slowly work back into it, but I will say I am just happy to be ok. Because this run scared me.
I have anxiety, I won't pretend to be fearless. My kids are a major source, I want to be the best mom I can be. I don't want them to be hurt, and I want to do right by them always. Another source, Hubbs, he travels I want him safe and around forever too. I could go on typing all day about what makes me nervous. A big fear, actually its dying and leaving my kids without me. I drive carefully but sometimes I fear I'll never come home. I also run with my inhaler on a one mile loop track right next to the E.M.S. garage, because I have asthma. I know I can't live my life in fear or all I would ever do is worry. Running is great for anxiety, not so much for the asthma. I can't believe I only had to use the inhaler once. I am always thinking about safety with that in my mind, I still have to make it home for them.
I just felt like crying when I got home, so after my mom left, I did.

Blinded By The Light, Manfred Mann's Earth Band
(I know what it's about, but it settles me into my run because its too off the wall to understand.)

I be needing a facial

Well I haven't been to a spa since miles was 6 weeks old for a massage, I hated every minute it was the first time I ever left him with anyone. Before kids, I tried to at least go once a year. I like facials. They get all the crap out of your pores. Back when I was a lady that spa-ed, I didn't run in fact, I smoked. I have always had nice skin. Even through puberty I was a lucky lucky girl. Now I think the longer I go the more polluted I am getting. I told you wednesday I had crystallized salt on my cheeks, and now all the oil and crud is revolting. I am trying to keep my hair off my face as much as possible. I have reverted from using Mary Kay's Cleansing products and cremes (temporarily until after race) back to stridex pads from my teen years. I have dry patches and I have grease pits. I got white heads and black heads. I don't think anything I can do at this point is going to make it stop until summer, and the long runs calm down. But I think I want a steam facial and a deep tissue massage, even if I am dreaming, cause I have ZERO time for that. That's a normal person with my problems would do, but I'm just not normal. 
ps pic in the spirit of honesty :) not whining, that's just how it is!

Song 4 Mutya(out of control), Groove Armada

Meet Besty and Helga

These are my new friends, Betsy and Helga (2nd toe in both feet surrounding nail and it feel like under the nail). They just wont go away since wednesday, and they are getting some stares because I live in flipflops and they happen to be sexy. Mad Sexy. Enjoy the pics, hope you weren't eating when you saw this.
Betsy is the one on the left, she's a bigger bitch, don't tell Helga I don't want to hurt her feelings.

Shark Attack, Limp Bizkit

Runner Down.

My heart is hard pressed and heavy. I just found out Carrie broke leg during an obstacle race yesterday. From what I read on face book she fell off the monkey bars and sustained a spiral comuted tib fib fracture and an ankle dislocation, surgery for her today for plates and screws. I know this has nothing to do with me but I feeling really bad about. Really bad. Prayers for Carrie and her family, also another badass mother runner. A two year old and a breast fed infant :( Hang in there girl.

bummer song for Carrie: Stranded, Van Morrison

attitude intervals

 I woke up still feeling a little heavy in the heart. I was really ready to run. My shoes barely fit. I greased every toe and my heels, because there is a blister on most of them. I planned to do a pancake flat run, but this negative feeling needed to be punished, so I thought intervals for speed in a hilly place would be the best, to get good and tired. Everything went okay. I did however not turn on my garmin for about a mile of it, making a little more frustrated. My intervals are not counting in meters or minutes. I run hard until I am exhausted keep running while I count to 10, then I walk until my lungs are feeling it again, then I shuffle, then run hard. I don't like speed work because it opens up the door for more pain and risk of injury. I did it anyway because I something bugging me. I quickly dropped it once I took off. This is why I started running to begin with, it just makes life so much more easy to deal with. Honestly a good sprint is the way to have an adult tantrum, we should all try it.

Shark Attack, Limp Bizkit

after the run

Most of the time when I run on my long days I get so in the zone I don't notice how taxing it is on my body. Yeah I notice when I get cramps, or an injury, or god forbid my stomach tells me its time to get to the bathroom-LIKE NOW, but I really think the harder part after an ideal long run is the recovery period.
Yesterday my saint of a mother took my boys away for the entire day. It was quarter after 5 when she came back with them. I had the whole day to myself. So after I stumbled out of the icebath and shower, and ate and blogged I said I would nap, the truth is I laid in my bed and tried my damnedest it never happened. I watched Dr. Oz do Zumba on tv, thinking wow that man is white. I closed my eyes tight I never did fall asleep. I got up ate- totally honest I made chicken noodle in the microwave and took it back to my bed and sat up watching tv What Not to Wear. My left glute and hamstring were angry. Everytime I shuffled to the potty and sat down I tensed up and couldn't pee right away. Yeah that's the trouble with post awesomeness. I do have to say recovering you get a little delerious and Americas Funnest Home Videos is suddenly beyond hilarious. This healthy appetite turns to a chore to eat, but a must. I get all glassy eyed and slow.
What was just fantastic is that later at 4pm I had to go to work for a meeting. That meant, fixing my hair, putting makeup on and putting on clothes that aren't made of strechy material. I chose jeans because I didn't want everyone to see my zensah sleeves, as awesome as they are with kacki shorts you look like a UPS man. So 92 degrees and jeans over zensah sleves, and flip flops. I am a nurse and I know full well they are not allowed at work. I was not on duty though, and hello my shoes wouldn't go back on for all the tea in China. After telling a coworker about my training this weekend and getting the 'you're a psycho' look I decided not to talk about the days awesomeness. When it was time to go observe something I saw someone give my throbbing flip-flopped snausages a disaproving look, I tried to look as nonchalant as possible like well I'm a slob deal with me, but I was a little embarassed. I tried not to shift in my chair, which I had to with that angry glute. And when I got up from sitting tryed not to hobble can I get my oscar now please?
I get home my mom brings my kids home asleep- she's given me to exhausted children, priceless. I finally decide to route around the cabinet for some sports cream. I am not acustomed to it, after an incident in highschool when I applied then decided to soak in a tub, can you say hours of BURN. Well I rubbed BenGay on my butt, er glute and it finally settled down enough so I could tolerating stretching it out. I didn't fall asleep til around 11pm.I woke up this morning feeling great considering what I did yestery, really, no ankle bracing, and I was able to get down on the floor and change my son without and divine intervention. Right now my knees are a tad poofy and my toes are enormus, I was able to hang with my boys all day even carry them and help a friend move. Tomorrow I hit the gym for weights hopefully with shoes on.

I Believe In A Thing Called Love, The Darkness

sport tape and salt

So I made it through my 14 better than I had hoped.
I had an epiphany yesterday, my weak ankle feels better with a wrap on it, why not tape it? I looked it up on u tube on how wrap an ankle with tape correctly, and also consulted an expert- my sister in law Occupational Therapist extraordinaire. She though it was a good idea too, just as long as the tap didn't effect my natural stride. On the videos I watched there was a pretape people were using I opted out mainly for the reason I already did my shopping and I didn't want to go back to the store. Well it worked. Fantastic! I was thinking to myself wow, I should wrap my other ankle next just for support. Then I was was thinking..No I'll wrap my entire body in it, this stuff is the bee's knees!
I had company today, some friend stopped by for a couple miles I hope I didn't ruin their workout, I was working on an asthma attack when they arrived. Thanks for coming Carrie and Jenn! Might I apologize for my outfit too, but its extremely necessary to be that uncovered on these days.That made the time fly and when they left I was thinking that I would miss them. After they left I plugged in my ear buds and cranked the tunes.  It was humid and sputtering rain my lungs made me do a couple walk breaks but I pushed through it. I also go like 5 side stiches, at one point I punched myself in the stomach to make it stop.  I loved the rain, and I loved the occasional breezes.
By mile 10 I look down at my legs, tape exploded and was flapping, I ripped off what I could and tossed it, the socked portion of my foot stayed wrapped. I had no problems with that weak ankle today! I truly enjoyed myself I finished did a little wobbly dance and stretched. I didn't start to "feel it" until I tossed my butt in the drivers seat then.... woof. I want to puke. I don't know how to work these big old puffy lead laiden legs. I get home when I got out I feel sand on my face, what the duece? where did that come from, both sides of my face actually like white mutton chops. I think for a second then I wipe it and taste it on the tip of my tongue. EWWW it was salt. Like actual salt shaker quality.  That is just gross. I sit in the ice bath, the house is quiet, as I wait for my nailbeds to turn purple I bow my head and thank god for everything.

Great run, farthest to date 14.33. Going to nap now!

YingYang Twins, Salt Shaker

Rest for the tool

So I proposed that would rest today after Saturday's excrement, and I did. I have to confess Sunday at work during an emergency I did have to sprint down a hallway and it felt pretty good. But I still refrained from my normal stubborness, I am saving my self for my 14er! Can you sense a teeny bit of excitement? Maybe a little :).
Everything with my legs is working itself out. I am wearing a brace on my weaker ankle for support,using 'the stick' on my legs, and I wore my Zensah sleeves all weekend. I think that I was just getting a little exhuasted, or even a tad sick, I had a low grade fever saturday.
I read Fit for Life, by Richard Katouff. I am going to eat the plan for the rest of my training. He made some good points about being afraid to eat, starvation mode, and over exercise slowing the metabolism. Now I will be eating every 2 hours when possible. This diet consists mostly as a formula with carbs, protien, and fat. The snacks I will have all have a spoon of peanut butter. There is really no refined carbs so no crackers, chips and very little bread. But at least there is carbs. When I tried to do this before reading the book, the person who told me about misled me I am sure by accident- I got all excited before knowing the whole story and gained 5lbs. I am going to do this now, the right way knowledge is power- being in a hells fire hurry just slows you down. Lesson Learned.
As I gained those pounds, Ryan noticed how bummed I was getting has now removed the scale from my house. I have no idea how I am progressing.... but at least I feel good. I would like to get a body fat percentage done soon just so I can see if this works, not sure how to do that. Anyone know where I can get a local reading?

Journey, Don't Stop Believin'

Stubborn ass

Well I know I have had a little issue with my legs coming for about a week now. When I got up for the 10k I didn't feel ready, just tired, during the warm up for that race I didn't feel right. During the race, I tried my best, but I had I little hurt going on. The runs following haven't been great. I thought it was shoe time. Subsequently, I decided the protien diet was making me fat and I quit it and have been scrimping on eating all together because I had put on another 5 pounds. I have been cranky all week, and bummed. I have been getting night cramps/ charley horses at very inopportune times.  I did 5 monday that was awful. Wednesday I got through my 6 but the whole time my left leg felt floppy and weak. Friday I did the legs on the machines, and an hour on the eliptical to try to correct this weakness. Last night out with my husband I contemplated taking the day off today, partly because i took the acewrap off my ankle before we left, so it wouldn't show. (I was only wearing it to make it feel supported). On our date I finally got the nutrition book I was waiting for, I am reading it before I do anything, and some nifty new pink and black ear buds, plus an mp3 player holder- mine smelled like the bottom of a laundry basket at the olympics. So I really wanted to go try out my new stuff, and waking up I felt rested enough- remember lately I know it takes me a while to get my legs to go.

I got down the road new shoes and earbuds, after my warm up block took off listening to Gwen Stefani, Hollaback Girl and I started feeling crappy again. That damn leg crampy, weak, hurting. I hear Gwen sing about how' the shit is bananas b-a-n-a-n-a-s', I agree Gwen this shit is bananas. What the hell am I doing out here? This is starting to hurt. I get a nice little twinge of pain/cramp at this point you could imagine a rockin slide on Jimmy Hendrix's guitar like when he played the national anthem. Yeah awesome. I am at this point a mile and a half from my house walking just saying I'm ready to run again, get ready, get ready... I trot to a flop a few feet and walk and start to limp and turn around. I am walking home think I am doing the right thing walk/limping home now. It's hurting more now I am a mile out I start biting my lip this really f-ing is starting to get irritating. Can the cars passing me see that I can barely make this look normal? I could run still if I wanted to, but I know what that does. That lands you weeks of off time and bummed-ness. I am doing the good girl thing by ditching and going back. If I had no planned race I would probably run until I got my endorphins and couldn't move, but I barely got a sweat today. The last song was My Humps, by Black Eyed Peas. I have never listened to that the whole way through actually. I started singing my own words to myself. My limp my limp, my limp my limp my limp my limp- check it out. Make my junk work, make my make my make my junk work. 
Ah well, I have time to rest up for my 14. I have already resolved to rest monday's run too, I document this here so I am not a stubborn ass again and go, because eventually this stubborn ass will just sit down in the road and not get up no matter how hard I whip it.  To all the worriers, I am sure this is muscular at this point, and I think r.i.c.e. and maybe a little bengay ought to help out my stubborn ass.

Angry Rock: Douche Bag, Limp Bizkit

stiff

So I am starting to feel very stiff. It takes me about an hour to feel decent all over once I get up. I am sure that a lot of people feel that way. I usually wake up and walk upright and normal after I stumble to the toilet and pee. Lately I do a couple a minutes of hobbling now. And It doesn't all warm up and get it together until a walk for a little. Sometimes its stiff knees, sometimes its my feet that hurt, sometimes my shin, sometimes by back. The old gray mare, she aint like she used to be.
I didn't want to go to the gym today. I went. I spent some time on the leg machines for strength, hopefully help my achy legs in the long run. Then I spent an hour on the elliptical. It was definitely a challenge because it was not painful, but not fun either. I didn't feel good until I stretched when I got all done. Maybe I should start stretching pre-run, I always though you shouldn't, but as I go on its getting to be necessary evil.  Anybody do both before and after????? Anybody think that's an insanely bad Idea? Anyone else notice your upper arm Mpr3 player holder smells like your armpits on the Serengeti?
I have a short run on my schedule tomorrow. I hope I flop out of bed with a smile on my face.
Metallica, Crying Like a Bitch

Blech

I just wrote a whole page of excrement, and deleted it. This is my second draft. I didn't have a fantastic run at all today.I just started writing a page long whine about it, and it's gone.Whining is now outlawed. I am pissed I didn't let myself enjoy it more. I don't think I smiled once. I felt fat, old, and slow. My mistake. I am fat compared to others, but compared to me I am looking fine as hell so I guess I should stop comparing myself to anyone but myself. I am not old either- I feel younger than I ever did in my 20's. And slow, well I maybe slow compared to someone else, but I am kicking ass and taking names for my personal fitness. That mind set is going to have to stop- its holding me back. I get a whole day's help once a week to just focus on running, I am freaking blessed for the help and I should be getting all I can out of that, fun included. I am done with being a tool. Marathon training just became fun again.

Guts, All Time Low

Happy 4th

This morning I got up nice an early to get my run over with so that I could run errands and then my stuff together for the holiday. I worked last night as usual didn't get to be til 1am. Mondays usually always suck. I was feeling a case of the Monday's more than usual, I on my feet all night the night before, already sore from 12miles then a 10k race my body didn't like me this morning. I have a giant zit farm on my chin right now and large area that is refusing to go anywhere. As I ate my half a peanut butter- nana sandwich/taco it ripped open and bled. Wow I make acne look sexy ah? Its hot and that makes me puffy. Being sore makes me puffy, I am a literal water-wienie. Cranky I flop my butt in the van and then proceed to back over my tomato plant. :) I went on my way manda-poofy pants and I had to go to the store first. I see coconut water, I got some to try. Picked up what I need and quickly check out to get to the track. I feel people looking at my dork-ware under armor shorts and shirt, yeah I know I'm freakish confident wearing that in public either that or its super hot! It was humid super super humid.
My body pretty much slowed me down. I felt sore and creaky, and even if I wanted to over do it - I couldn't make myself go any faster. It was like trying to pull a stubborn donkey. My headphones broke I could hardly hear my tunes, I hate hearing my wheezing. I am getting new ones asap. Through 4 miles of the Monday's I do have to say I received the message loud and clear, sleep would have been more intelligent. I get back to the van and tear open the coconut water(oh yeah still chilled), and grab both knees and dry heave. Oh shoot that's gross! I drank it though, hoping it has the magic properties as recommended by Abby. I get back to the drive way, pick up my tomato plant and apologized. Then business as usual about my day. I feel gross.
Later is the neighborhood parade it's a mile loop and my hubby already sore from some recent This Old House type stuff was feeling a little too sore to pull the wagon full of man baby approx 90lbs and then wagon too. So I did that too, with my zensah sleeves on. It was freaking hot, I was covered in sweat by the time we started. But fun, my neighbors are awesome. Looking forward to bed tonight. Happy 4th everybody.

Make Yourself, Incubus

10k Race Report

So I ran my first 10k this morning, came home, showered and off to work, its now midnight and I am sitting up in bed blogging. I am dead ass tired, but I'm awake!
The mood for this whole thing was nervous. I expressed my fear in previous post, and it expanded from there. I got up 5am and played try on everything I own and throw it on the floor because I felt 1. fat and 2. like a nerd. I decided on my security blanket- My black "hell no!" t-shirt, cotton and not ideal for running but perfect for my insecurity. I actually put my shorts in the wash, and dryer like right before I left after deciding I had to have those ones, I sat on a towel because I left the house with clean but damp shorts on.  I left too early,or maybe I don't remember the drive being so short. I was trying to listen to the radio on the way there and I couldn't get reception scanning I heard part of a children's song: There is just one you, God only made one you. I vow to settle down at this point, I took an extra deep breath as I drove the rest of the way to the Kenyan's house. I text: I am so early, I'm sorry. I was really early, but she was all set. Nervous around the start, I must have peed 3 times before the gun went off. I am looking all around, this is a big race, I feel so shaky. Everyone milling around was wearing running clothing, I am wearing a black cotton t-shirt in July-great choice A-hole. I really felt funky but I tried to tell myself just to be myself and enjoy it.
Taking off down the road as the pack stretches out before me as it always does, I enjoy the run. Its hot but lots of people cheering and SUPER nice people with their garden hoses out in their yards made the run enjoyable. I even found myself flexing my bicep for people as they clapped- I'm a ham what can I say? I finished in 1:09:54. I wasn't last there were 16 people behind me. 246 finishers, I was 230. I think I did the best I could considering the very hilly course, hot day and the mileage I had already taken on this week. Remember this is on top of 18 miles already.
At these races I always feel like spatula in a spoon drawer, similar but a different kind of tool completely. A lot of bigger races have a clydesdale category, where people over a certain weight class compete against each other, I would like to see that happen in our area soon. Do I want to win? No not really, I just want more people toe-ing the line with me in the back! I know a lot of runners who don't race for that reason.
When I got home I kinda had a meltdown to hubbs. I read in a book 10k x 5 is a decent Marathon estimation. So basically, I can estimate if all goes right, to finish around 5:45. The course closes in 6 hours, very possible my fears will be realized and I will be swept to the side. He had to talk me back out of myself, reminded me why I am doing this, because it's hard. Because it's a challenge. Because before I couldn't have even dreamed of signing up and now I am 78 days away. I hope that I don't get swept, but I will finish anyway even if I wouldn't be allowed with everyone else. I'm scared but I am not backing down. Every run I get the privilege of ability for, will be enjoyed to the utmost, even if I must make my own finish line because everyone is going home.

Cake, The Distance
http://youtu.be/__PU5CVSegg

Tomorrow another first

I have already sent in my money for my marathon about about 5 months ago, so this is funny. Ladies and Gentlemen Its my first 10k tomorrow at 9am! Hahahahaha. I am pretty confident in my ability signing up for the whole shabang and never doing the steps up. I  know can do the big show so why am I just a little bit scared of this? I'll tell you why fear of doing horrible. We all know I am not fast. a 10/min pace is about the best I can do this is going to take at least an hour. They say to multiply that by 5 and you get your marathon finishing goal. What if it is over 6 hours???? I will get swept in Erie if that happens. If you can't keep 14/m they take your chip and make u finish on the path or quit, I have been secretly brewing fear for 5 months. What if I am too slow?????? Truth is I love races, I am going but I feel like I got a big flashing "v" on my head. This is a long run and I think only 2 water stops, I am trained for one every mile so far and I would probably need to gu because I am getting so used to that too, I am not sure what to do, hand bottle of Gatorade? I will be tossing and turning with this one tonight.
I bagged my cross training for the day I am going to the zoo with a friend. The Pittsburgh zoo is hilly and pushing 90 million pounds of jogger on them is a good workout, that will do prerace just fine... race report to follow. Wish me luck and if you are in Ellwood City don't run me over I'm going to be out there all day! :)