As my cloud lifts.

It happens to be Easter. I happen to be in my house 5 feet from a toilet, alone. Bummer I know. The family is out doing family gatherings and I am trying not to poop myself.  I have been soooooooooo sick. I really didn't understand what was happening at all either until it was on top of me. I had missed my training last weekend and I have this weekend too. I haven't done much of anything. I had a soul crunching headache, which is obviously dissipating because the light from the screen has not blown my head off. This will make my 4th straight day in bed, if you count Thursday right after work. I even had a trip to the E.R. It's making its way out of my body along with the rest of the evils. Unfortunate it's going to leave the way most things leave the body, southern exit. 
Trying not to soil myself at this point while watching snl reruns, Gibbs brothers talk show skit in particular. Trying to to think too much about the looming marathon in 1 month I have missed 2 weeks of workouts for.  Or that Soccer is starting and I have no idea when my kids practice is. Or that we need a washing machine which the multiple illnessi in our family has delayed purchasing, or my baby turning 4 Wednesday with all his unwrapped presents in the back of my car. or ....orr....or.... Nope scratch that right now, just doing clenched giggling. Thanking god my head feels better.
fyi, when your washing machine breaks NEVER say great just our luck now someones going to get the flu. It will will it. It's science.
Happy Easter Friends.

James 4.10

Reading the past posts! As I go back and randomly view my posts I am really surprised to remember the stuff I posted!   It's kinda like bringing a junior high year book photo out and thinking oh wow look at what a dork I was! I'm still a crazy girl but even I am surprised by my somewhat psychotic rants. I have covered pretty much everything from peeing my pants, vomiting, pooping in all places, mucous, and whined about everything. I read it and think wow that girl is weird, oh yeah that's me!
 
It's the 2 year anniversary today of the infamous paper article. It was something that made me change as a person. I admit at first I wasn't super happy I did that,  but it has opened up so many doors in my life. I learned there is freedom in being honest, even if you have to be honest with the entire world in a diary to stay that way. It has set me free. I maybe a simpleton that has no filter but you can be sure it's the real deal and I will tell you when I am f.o.s.  Am I embarrassed I was in the paper? Sometimes. Would I change it now? Never ever.  James 4:10.

In true anniversary spirit hubbs and I have gone to the spread sheet for a total progress.( It has been one year and one week since my last measurement)
This weeks lowest weight 159
Total pounds lost  139 lbs
Total inches lost 112.25 inches

Above photo April 2, 2009, day before we got Jude. Yes I know I was pregnant, but we know I could have been the size of 2 full term women, they don't make maternity clothing in that size. Heaviest weight up top. Down below current lowest. I continue to try for my goal.

onward.

BEAVER FALLS!

Oh lately I just really need a helmet so I don't hurt myself.

Just as I sit here my obese wiener dog was whining to get up on the bed(she's too fat to jump) and I yelled "BEAVER FALLS!" because I was addressing my sons' birthday invites at the same time. Her name is squeaker. I was trying to yell "shut up squeaker" in the most loving way possible.


I went shopping Saturday with my Sunroof open for and I kept thinking wow why is it so bright?, oh yeah the sun....brilliant.  I was wearing my ripped jeans, got them caught on my car and reallllly ripped them. :( I am sewing those they are my favorites! I actually yelled for all to hear POOPBALLS>! Whatevers!   

It seems like every time I get to the grocery store I completely forget how to cook. I give up and leave before I have everything because I just don't give a crap anymore by the time the walmart people start to annoy me. I must have been there 10 minutes this week before I just decided, eh I can't handle this today. What the hell is wrong with people that feel that it is a mad dash on a Sunday at 5pm? Did you really need to elbow check my boob for those crackers?? Or my other favorite kind of people, 'the road blockers' you know they are in the way, you know it, and eventually you sigh and turn around and make a big loop to the other end of the isle because they are reading some meaningful novel on the side of a fruit snacks box. This was the first warm day of the year pretty much and I smelled it in there too, really people they sell soap and deodorant, BUY SOME. Do I think I smell wonderful? No actually I have a quite a manish scent sometimes but I try and shower at least once a weekend. It's enough to make you run for the hills when shopping for food and already feel pretty irritable, when you've already been kinda irritable anyways. Nobody wants armpit pizza, just saying. (wait this blog is supposed to be about my issues...it still is...I have no point, that's about me too.)

This week I think I am running a 10er. I am not extra tired, infact I got up at 4am this morning, like I do (note daylight savings) I felt okay. Okay so maybe not physically tired but my brain has decided that is only going to handle major things lately. I am just going to smile and laugh at myself because that's all I can do.    

Have a lovely week, I know I will. Onward.

I still feel funky.

That I do.
 I feel like never speaking again today.
Why I am I blogging?
 No idea.

I am my own walking contradiction.

Well I said I didn't want to sign up for anything right now. Anyone who has read one or two posts knows I am full of shit. We I haven't signed up for any fall marathon yet so that much is true. But I am training for something now. I signed up for the Pittsburgh half marathon 5-5-13. An opportunity presented itself and I decided to do it. I feel lost right now. Still. My family is adjusting to mom the 9-5er. I think I am too but I just don't feel like me. I may be a little depressed about something, but I have no reason to be really. Things are good just feeling less graceful and a little more rough than usual.  I figure this race training will help that. Maybe kinda like a comfort. Even if I loathe crowded areas, and I didn't really want to do a city race, I think I feel a little better already. It's silly but stuff like this can have the same effect on me, as a toy would to a child. I have a weird passion and few share it with me, on this day I will be with shitloads of them running with me and I will fit right in instead of being an oddball like my normal day to day. I am getting mildly excited.

So little miss not training for anything right now has a huge city half marathon in 9 weeks and is starting to smile at being her own walking contradiction.

Tomorrow is 7 maybe 8 miler. I will remind yinzers this will be my first half marathon....I haven't one accomplished yet, only fulls.

onward!