Monday, May 28, 2012

The coon skinned cap

 I cut all of my hair off. When I mean all of it I mean, my shampoo will last the rest of the year. I love it. My hair has been my trade mark, since about age 9 actually.

This blog is for the lady receiving my  hair.

A little background about the hair you are receiving, so you know where it's been.
The hair of a beautician's daughter, I always took good care of it.
You hair has not been colored in over 2 years now, which makes it perfect for collection. I never fixed it much but I took it with me everywhere so it's seen a lot.
Your hair has been attached to a pregnant girl twice, given birth to 2 strapping baby boys.
Your hair had spit up in before.
Your hair was married until I cut it off my head. my husband will miss your hair.
Your hair always got tons of complements I hope it gets you a few.
Your hair was my security blanket.
Your hair is runner hair.
Your hair ran a marathon.
Your hair is certified, grade A bad-ass hair.
Your hair has lost love ones to cancer.
Your hair used to be on a nurse.
Your hair has seen what you go through.
Your hair wants you to be strong.
Your hair already knows how brave you are.



Monday, May 21, 2012

now i'm signed up

In the weeks leading up to yesterday I have been entertaining certain ideas in the privacy of my own brain.
1. wouldn't it be cool if I ran another marathon at my ideal weight?
2. wouldn't it be cool if it was Erie?
3. wouldn't it be cool if I ran Erie this year?
4. I have 18 weeks to prepare, I'm already up to 8....
5. this is insane.
6. poo flinging crazy.
7. sounds like a plan

So I signed up yesterday. It's September 16th. I signed up for the full. I love the work that has to be done, so I'm getting excited.

Can't Stand It, Never Shout Never

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

signing him up

Yesterday I did what I have been dreading. I signed my first born up for kindergarten. I know he won't go until August, but I can't help a little like this is the end of an era, um because it is. This blog is dedicated to my darling first born son, Miles.
Sometime in early fall of 2006....
I had just arrived home from a day of orientation at a new job at the local hospital in Baltimore. I was tired, getting dinner together in my hot un-airconditioned kitchen just loathing the heat. Hubbs was just leaving for a 2 week business trip, gave me a kiss and barreled out the door because he was late. He's always late, ALWAYS, and BWI didn't give a crap so he had to hustle it. I was kinda lonely in this time in my life, a bit depressed to; not sure how to take care of my self as an adult, missing my far away family, just committed to our first mortgage to an 100 year old stinker in a place I wasn't so sure of was a great place to live, and recovering from a really disappointing miscarriage and sinking because it was 6 months and I still wasn't pregnant. I confess to hating babiesrus in this time frame, and feeling sad whenever I saw a new baby or a pregnant girl, and taking about 5 pregnancy tests a month just to be sure. I was tired. I tired of feeling sad, and today just over it.
 I give my friend a call, we talk about the usual stuff. I am a born multitasker. I had taken a pregnancy test and called my friend to chat to pass the minutes. I didn't tell her what I was waiting on because I was sure I would be seeing a negative as I had so many times. I return to the bathroom while mid sentence and it was positive. "Oh God....Tonya....."  My friend becomes worried "what's the matter? Amanda what's wrong?" I preceded to repeat my self and get upset. Crying. pacing. I finally tell her, I'm pregnant. I tell her over and over to never tell until she she gets the okay because last time every knew before I miscarried and it was tough to get over retelling it over and over. We eventually hang up after she calms me down. I sit it this big old turd of a house alone on the couch thinking how am I going to tell him something like this over the phone I can't wait 2 weeks.
I put my head back and think and then my phone rings I jump like an MMA fighter and answer it's Hubbs he tells me on the way home his flight was actually cancelled. In the entire 5 years he worked there is the only one time this has ever happened. THANKGOD. So I get up and pace until he returns. He looks at me, he sees something is up. I just say go in the bathroom, he stands there and demands to know what's wrong I said look....and after an eternity he sees the test on the sink. He gives me a huge smile and hug.
We kept this a secret for 4 whole weeks from everyone except for my friend Tonya so we could verify he was okay. The day we had the ultrasound to confirm I was 8 weeks along and full clamped in fear. The last time I had an ultrasound we found out the baby past on so this was horrifying. I laid there on the table white knuckling my husband as the lady plooped jelly on me. Finally we heard the most beautiful sound ever, my little champ's heartbeat. He made it! Probably the most wonderful of moments so far in my life.
When he was born I didn't fully expect a baby until he came out. I know it sounds weird but I was terrified I couldn't place that he was coming out somehow because when he did it was a lightning bolt shock. He got yanked up by the ankles all gooey and before he even cried his eyes were open huge and he was looking at me. Wow it still gives me the chills.
As he has grown over the years he constantly surprises me. His unconditional love has taught me a thing or two. He has made me a mother and my husband a father. He's a great miracle gift to my husband and myself. As he turns 5 next week I am astounded how time flies. He can write his name and yesterday I signed him up for kindergarten.
When we got there the teacher came and took him away from me for his screening and I felt a little peace as he confidently walked with them. He's grown so much this is a good thing. I sit by myself watching a slide show waiting for my conference and I feel my heart thump and see tears coming. Thankfully my neighbor was coming to sit by me, I tell her to talk to me so I won't cry. Then it s my turn to talk with the principle I did just fine as she tells me my son is testing ready for kindergarten. Then as I tell her how impressed I was with how well organized the system was I choked on tears and they came out. The principle flops out a huge box of tissues and starts crying too. Well at least I wasn't alone, I am sure many more moms squirted out a few tears. My big boy was presented to me with a star sticker that says Kindergarten here I come. ...sigh....
I have been surviving lately on the fact we still have the summer and he's still a baby until then, but yesterday I saw it's already happened, he's not a baby and I am so very proud of him. Happy 5th Birthday Miles. 


Saturday, May 5, 2012

nurse at work

So I fell into a worm hole of not blogging for a few days. It's been BUSAY.

My kids adjusting? Well yes and no. They aren't super fans of leaving me by mid week. This is an odd week too I work my first weekend rotation they are kinda confused, but for the most part I miss them. I admit it's hard to give the reins on such an important job over to anyone(mom to my kids), it's always tough for me when they aren't right by me. So I've been recognizably under the radar, don't want to give any minutes over away from kiddie time, I have spectacular mom guilt.  By the time they are asleep I am too! Or exercising.
 I have decided for probably the duration of the summer I get up at 5am. That's when I've been running with skipp, in the dark. He's getting bigger and faster. I spend most of the run being towed yelling "SLOW DOWNNNNNN SKKKKKKIIIIPPPPPY". He poops out early though, probably good or I would end up late for work cause this is a sedentary job and I feel like a caged animal. It's cool though about the job, lots to learn, lots a work but do-able. I can train my butt off too then go sit on my butt and learn so more and do more paperwork, so when hubby's home I'm out at 515 killing it. I do have a treadmill for when the kids and me are alone, I do not prefer it but it's a way to sanity and extra attention span. So the distance end, not much right now, but very useful workouts. I am committed to weights once a week even if I can't make it to the preferred body pump class, but I think that has made a huge difference in my recent size difference. I don't enjoy the weight machines, but I do them, and I keep getting my geriatric butt on the captains chair too. So Manda's running and she's still a veggie eater reluctantly.

Here's a quick review of the last week and a half
1. worked a lot
2. learning stuff
3. missing kids
4. hit 162.8 for 1 day.
5. maiden family car cruise happened last weekend
6. regarding cruise children's excitement = husbands excitement...there is not an age buffer when it comes to cars that sound loud enough to be heard a half mile away.
7 new running kicks via Lloyd.
8. signing kid up for all day kindergarten tues...dread...
9. marathon's tomorrow....I won't be there....poop.
10. good luck Kenyan!!!!!!!!!!!
11 working a lot
12 missing kids
13 missing kids.
 14 missing blogging....

I am loving a new band fun.
I suggest a running song: Some nights, fun.


onward friends. love to my marathoners tomorrow.