yoi

Well I saw my favorite Dr. S today. And I have to have another test, . I am still having issues. Causing me to have some trouble eating and pain.. I have a little temp too so I am not all about the exercise it's been a week almost since I have done anything physical besides my job at work. I have been puttering around like a lump of crap really. I am not sure what's going to happen with my diet/weight-loss/progress, part of me is  a little worried but the other part doesn't give a darn. Now I know something's wrong, miss don't hesitate to run on antibiotics can't seem to find the will to move at all. I hope this gets better I have to wait another week for this test. I soooo don't have time for this right now, the marathon half is out, but also professionally I was just getting back into working more, hoping this blows over and the result is manageable or something that disappears.

Someone Check My Pulse....

So for a few days I have had some tummy trouble. I haven't felt much like doing anything. I know that my kids being sick does send me a little over the edge but for a few days I felt wierd. I do no feel like running. I do not feel like eating. I feel a little sick after I do eat. Going to see Dr. S Thursday hopefully it's either gone by then or he can help me.
I celebrate my break into the 160's at 169.2 today, pretty much just floating around my house like a lump of crap not doing much. Don't think I'm not happy. I am, just feel like I ate something my dog left in the yard.
14 more pounds to 155 kids. Onward.

New-old shirt

So Fink house is teeming with germs. This week we have horrible baby virus that is contagious. YIPPEE>! The little one is just getting over day 6 of midget plague and now the older one has a high fever. I am stressed, I feel defeated. Changing things up at work really it's the first couple weeks of this and we hit a snag already. This is not stopping us, nothing worth it is ever easy. I am not complaining, well maybe a little but, sometimes this can't be helped, I have come a long way baby in a year, I am not panicking I am dealing. Now as I smell my puppy just ate a perfume sample at my feet, I decided not write about my house anymore we shall talk about my shirt.
The shirt- it's brand new, but it's a couple years old. I'll explain. When I started shopping for running shoes in the beginning of fitness a shirt caught my eye, at lady foot locker. I wanted it, but it only came in a lady's XL. It'd a baby tee with cap sleeves. It says "EVERY DAMN DAY Just Do It." It has a nike swoosh on it. I asked the clerk if they made any bigger sizes, she told me to try the mens department. In the nicest way possible I didn't leave that store upset, just dreaming of the day I could buy it. I had lost more weight by the end of the season, and when it was on sale, I bought it. I got it home and tried it on it fit, but it was tight (like it should be). I just didn't feel comfortable wearing it in public. I put it in a drawer and fell happy to own it, because after all, it DID fit me after all. Over the last year I have attempted to put it on a couple times and always take it off because I feel shy or lumpy.
Last night I wore this to the gym.I confess to never wearing it. I am still not all the way done yet 16 more to go. But I will say it was cool to feel okay wearing something that has been in my drawers for awhile that is brand new. I think it is 2 years old.

Uncle Bud

As a little girl my mom took us to church on Sundays at the Beaver CMA church. Every Sunday I knew he was there at the doors to the sanctuary shaking hands, and handing out bulletins. I could always count on him to hug me until I grunted. He would frequently tell me I was 'growing like a weed'. I watched him during this years be a constant fixture of the church, it was nice to see his face there. I always felt like he was a great person even at the age of 10. He was a great father, I watched my cousins all grow up and get married and form families. When my grandparents passed, I loved that he looked the most like my grandma Blanche out of all our family. He was an all around good guy. His smile was infectious and ever present. I know he prayed for me.
Now as an adult, I see how amazing he really was. He was a husband. He was a devoted father. He was a provider. He was a brother. On top of all that he gave of himself at the church. I look at my own life, I can't even get my butt in the pew most weeks and he did all of those things and served too.  As a child he was a pleasant face in some unsure times, and one heck of a positive male figure. Looking back at all of this I'm inspired to be a better person if I can be, I hope my extended family feel touched by my life someday because I was a great person.


Today I got a call at work from my mom. My uncle Bud had passed away. He was 73ish and was on a missions trip in Nicaragua at the time. The story told to me is that he said his stomach hurt, he laid down for a nap and never got up again. My initial reaction was to cry. I have a lot of family on that side, ALOT and we don't see each other everyday, but memories hit me like a ton of bricks. . I haven't seen Uncle Bud every Sunday since I was a girl. At family reunions he was always ready with a great hug right away. Our family is large and when we get together its an over flow of love............YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE CHEVALIERS. It will never be the same without Bud.

Well done good and faithful servant.

March 11, 2012

So I finally took my measurements, in the last month I have lost 4 inches. I am weighing in at 172.8. That's 31 since November, and 18 until the goal.
I have slowed down my progress lately. Some things on purpose, going to stuff and allowing treats and such. Sometimes, I haven't been able to help it, I have been working out hard I get sore and puffy. I am excited it's coming off I can wait forever if it continues to come off, and stay off.
I was going to race this weekend with a new friend and Thursday night my knee wouldn't take any more of my abuse. It really didn't hurt but it was telling me it needed a break. I am sure I could have raced and then had to sit the whole running season on the bench with some weird knee injury. So today is day three of no exercise just my normal running around at work. I needed a little rest I was sore to the gills this week, I am stubborn I will keep going until I fall apart. Even my hair hurt at one point this week. So this is me being conservative. Tomorrow I test out my knee at the gym, if there is more soreness I am going to be cautious and still keep resting even if I don't want to. If the knee is okay I am going to do a light week because I have a race Saturday!
Personally I'm a little tense about stuff. I really hope I am no truly injured I have no other way to deal with it besides hold my breath. Tomorrow nights the big meeting at the school about the proposed all day kindergarten. Meaning my baby is gone all day one year sooner than planned. If this happens he will be gone from 9-4 everyday. I have been getting depressed for a couple weeks and really have been pounding the gym. I've also been a little quiet, I am dealing with the mom stuff. I'm sad. I am torn too, is it time to go back to work? I kinda want to and I hate myself for it...thus the silence lately. I'm just bummed. Hoping the answers become clear and I accept the change and start smiling again.
So hoping and praying for peace and a rested body in sound condition.

Ben Folds Five, Magic
I'm bummed, I am wallowing pretty bummer music.

Girls Night 2012

Well I don't know what the scale has to say today so I didn't hop on it. This week I hit 173.4 lbs.

 I got the chance to go out with my girls and get all dressed up at a formal fund raiser and I went! I had to miss half of it because I had to work but I am so glad I made the effort. I took all my stuff with me to work and stopped at my moms house to change and she fixed my hair at the speed of a NASCAR pit stop. And she really did do a great job, it's a good thing she's looking out for me I'm not hair challenged but I am not talented like her.
When I got there it was a little weird. It wasn't THAT long since my friends and I had seen each other but I had to walk up to every single one and start talking before they recognized me. And my bff knew what I was going to be wearing because I text-ed her a dressing room picture of the selection I made and she still had to look at me twice. Flattering. Off putting.
We danced and drank. I wish it would have been a little longer. Afterward we went out for food because I just didn't want to go home yet. I ate like livestock.
This morning I got up at the regular time and got the "push" out the door from hubbs. "you go run". Oh sure can't turn it down, I'm going I'm going.... but I am full of poop and I had a couple drinks so I am not feeling super fantastic. My goodness I mean exactly 2, alcohol and I aren't friends. I ended up flopping my big food baby belly around the track, flat course at an easy pace for 5 miles. I would have been faster if I had not eaten so much and had little amounts of sleep. But it was nice to be outdoors so I kept on until I started thinking about the level of chill in the air and possibility of having to poop in the porta-john and I went home!
 I didn't realize I was at over dose levels of sweat pants. Some times you just need a break from all that and play dress up with your friends. Sisterly bonding is important and so is feeling pretty.
It's kind of turned into a yearly event to have girls night now. We all have kids and or super busy schedules so unfortunately that's when we finally get time for each other. The last time we went out was pretty much exactly one year!

To recap last year we dressed up and went out. Some punk yelled after us in the parking lot on the way home, "yeah if you aren't that sexy just wear sweat pants or stay home". I was offended. I felt helpless to admit that at the time because I was frustrated with my progress and mad at myself.  But it really hurt.The above picture is from girls night 2011.

This year I am 30lbs lighter. It was a lot more formal than last year and it was so much fun. I am wearing a spray tan. It's only 25 dollars worth of good looking though, exibit A check the foot pic. When doing the spray tan, don't forget between your toes!!!! It's been 14 years since high school, it was nice to scoot around the dance floor like a teenager and actually not be tired when the parties over. I will never go back to the way I used to be, I want to stay young no matter how old I get.

I was in no way the best looking chick there, but I actually FELT pretty. Rare Victory.