That would be my lungs folks. I continue to hack like no tomorrow. It's really annoying. Stupid even. I did go to the gym in the brief one day I had of breathing. The next day I went to work, every visit except for one had a cat or a smoker. At stop #3 the perfume in the home was so thick I could barely stand after my inhaler kicked in. I muddled through somehow, choking and gaggy. That night I took a benadryl and showered as soon as I got home. My tongue felt itchy like it was growing cat hair. We went on a date that evening and I hacked all night. Sorry honey I can't kiss you I have to make a hocker. I have only gotten worse, now dependent on my nebs and shaking like a leaf again. DAMN IT. I am going to let all these easy obtained workout days slip down the drain because I have no lungs it depresses me. Some days it's all I can do to get to and from work and a workout is wanted but can't be done due to schedules or kids or child care. This past two weeks it would have been so damn easy to go anytime I wanted and I have been just sitting here frustrating.
I feel flabby and gross all over. My strong body is turning into a nasty dimple. Probably not but I feel that way. I got some new uniforms the other day I fear I will be too fat for by the time I wear them. I am grumpy.
Dear Lord please let the snow you sent cleanse us all from the nasty viruses and germs we have. Be with all of us as we take deep breaths. Sent us strength for all the sick people and all the people taking care of the sick people that have to deal with grumpy poopy attitudes. Send summer soon because I miss happy kids, running, my tan and my flip flops. In your name, Amen.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Thursday, December 27, 2012
a long december
I am not just being a shameless Counting Crows fan it has been. I am never been so sick in recent history. I know I whine about illness because it stops the endorphin train because I must rest and I have become dependent on this usually but I willing rested until today. I was so sick I faithfully took all the medications I loathe even my singulair that makes me pee my pants and worry at lot more than I like. Breathing is more important sometimes. Through all this I missed 3 days of work, and my son's Christmas pageant at school. I worked the day after my marathon for 12 hours, this girl doesn't do sick and helpless. I thought I may have to be put in the hospital a few days it was terrible. The boys both struggled with illness too it was the real deal and I haven't protested I have submitted and did everything I was told.
I am sort of feeling better and getting antsy. I am going back to the gym but I doubt it will be running. How much fun would it be if I hacked up a lung in public? Low impact at least I am waiting for hubbs to finished plowing our driveway so I can bust out the door. Happy for small victories.
I've had some interesting professional developments that I will sharing soon. I am pretty excited and a tiny bit sad too. Its time to go back to work full time. A change in our family that has gradually been happening all year and its time to rip the bandaid off. I have faith that I can make it through this and achieve balance but I have put on the blinders for one day at a time because I know I'm a huge freak and I will not let myself ruin months of my life until I relax. I am not even sharing it all yet, baby steps....
This year New Years Eve ends a chapter in my life, and Next year 2013 will be new and exciting. I set out for peace, and balance, somehow I feel it may actually happen.
I am sort of feeling better and getting antsy. I am going back to the gym but I doubt it will be running. How much fun would it be if I hacked up a lung in public? Low impact at least I am waiting for hubbs to finished plowing our driveway so I can bust out the door. Happy for small victories.
I've had some interesting professional developments that I will sharing soon. I am pretty excited and a tiny bit sad too. Its time to go back to work full time. A change in our family that has gradually been happening all year and its time to rip the bandaid off. I have faith that I can make it through this and achieve balance but I have put on the blinders for one day at a time because I know I'm a huge freak and I will not let myself ruin months of my life until I relax. I am not even sharing it all yet, baby steps....
This year New Years Eve ends a chapter in my life, and Next year 2013 will be new and exciting. I set out for peace, and balance, somehow I feel it may actually happen.
Monday, December 17, 2012
days off down the drain
So I am still sick. Better, improving daily now medicated. I spent a lot of time laying around. I barely got through what I needed to recently just everything ran me over. Literally Wednesday I got hit with a bus of some sort and I am just now coming to. I tried to down play this reading back I am just a stubborn ass, why do I think I need to blog about it? Must have been delirous. I am Nebulizing I am prednisoning and I am antibioticing. We even had the added treat of having a child to the ER this weekend with 105 fever for an ear infection. The older one, not the younger one!(happy to say fevers down and we are happy again!) I have not worked since last Wednesday and I am not even caught up. Just working on breathing and keeping my brood well. Pretty much survivial. Seems fitting of a December in the life of Manda. I highly doubt a run takes place from now until after Christmas. It is 7 days left until Christmas and I am not feeling at all prepared. I work 5 day stretch leading up so I am just kinda floundering here. Praying to get a low kitty low indoor smoking load of visits, so it doesn't undo everything I have been trying to get back with the breathing.
I don't think I will get around to making a holiday card this year, I promise hugs on demand in return. Stop me say I am cashing in my Christmas card IOweU and I will give you a full contact squeeze. Be careful what you wish for it we are at the gym though!!!
It has been a week since my last workout. It will be even longer before I even get in my running shoes. I am cool with it. I have a lot to be thankful for, I will get over it.
What do I want for Christmas?
1 to get my family better
2 to get better myself
3 for people to stop being so crazy in this world
4 for my interesting stuff to go well.
5 a new garmin that doesn't look like a 37 inch tv. that would be kewl.
6 to finish my shopping and wrapping before the holiday....
7 to see my kids have a great day. they are so excited, I don't care if I get a thing I want them to be blown away.
8 hoping for a good work day, yep i work eve, and day and day after. :(
9 of course my goal weight. check in this morning 160 even
10 i want my groceries to buy themselves, put themselves away, and cook themselves.
11 I want my whole family to see how much they should love each other.
12 my beetle has some paint chips that I want to dissapere.....
13 i would like a little more boobs than i have
14 i would like to give back that wrinkle I got this year.
15 for GOD to be with all my patients, especially my shut ins that won't go celebrate due to health issues, some dealing with losses I can't even picture, I hope I pain is less and Christmas is peaceful for them.
16 to stop having so much boogers! holy crap I don't know how many tissues I used in the course of a week but its astronomical really. I won't know how to act.
17 for my friends to know how much I apprieciate them. Really. I have some really generous buddies and I love them. I would hope to return the favor for all of them. Manda's got your back hit me up.
I don't think I will get around to making a holiday card this year, I promise hugs on demand in return. Stop me say I am cashing in my Christmas card IOweU and I will give you a full contact squeeze. Be careful what you wish for it we are at the gym though!!!
It has been a week since my last workout. It will be even longer before I even get in my running shoes. I am cool with it. I have a lot to be thankful for, I will get over it.
What do I want for Christmas?
1 to get my family better
2 to get better myself
3 for people to stop being so crazy in this world
4 for my interesting stuff to go well.
5 a new garmin that doesn't look like a 37 inch tv. that would be kewl.
6 to finish my shopping and wrapping before the holiday....
7 to see my kids have a great day. they are so excited, I don't care if I get a thing I want them to be blown away.
8 hoping for a good work day, yep i work eve, and day and day after. :(
9 of course my goal weight. check in this morning 160 even
10 i want my groceries to buy themselves, put themselves away, and cook themselves.
11 I want my whole family to see how much they should love each other.
12 my beetle has some paint chips that I want to dissapere.....
13 i would like a little more boobs than i have
14 i would like to give back that wrinkle I got this year.
15 for GOD to be with all my patients, especially my shut ins that won't go celebrate due to health issues, some dealing with losses I can't even picture, I hope I pain is less and Christmas is peaceful for them.
16 to stop having so much boogers! holy crap I don't know how many tissues I used in the course of a week but its astronomical really. I won't know how to act.
17 for my friends to know how much I apprieciate them. Really. I have some really generous buddies and I love them. I would hope to return the favor for all of them. Manda's got your back hit me up.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Seething petri dish
Update to last blog, I didn't want to whine so I didn't say anything about the fever I had last week. I didn't mention it, and or the next day running 7 miles with my Sis and Bro in law because they were in town and wanted to run with me. I knew I was doing something stupid, I did it any way. On Friday my oldest got sick and stayed sick until today, it's his first day back to school. Now since wednesday my youngest is sick. And today I sound a dying swan. I am completely hoarse. I can't talk at all and I have a slight fever. I knew better than to do that last week, let alone I worked out hard 4 days last week and once or twice this week. It's just too tempting when hubbs is in town because I don't have to bring the boys with me everywhere, it never happens except in December, and every fricken month 12 since I started working out I have been sick as hell. It also seems like at work every patient has 18 cats and smokes indoors I have been weezering more than normal even before I took to wounded animal voice .
I really don't want to go to the doctors right now, for the reason I don't want to admit I am an ass and wasn't taking care of myself. I will admit it here, I'm sick this time because I didn't give myself enough time to recover, and I am an ass. We runners play too hard sometimes.
Time to shut up, rest, and dust of the nebulizer. I really don't like using it. I feel certain medications make me more hyper. The first time I ever got a neb it was at convenient care in walmart a few years ago I turned bright red, started shaking a little and felt like I could climb the walls like spiderman. I avoid those at all costs, they can't always be avoided. Also over the counter medications do that to me too, namely Sudafed. I am sick as a dog and suddenly my headache is gone and I want to go paint the house. So I guess it's good I can't really speak at all because I tend to blab on and on when on the phone to my poor friends.
I am grounded for a few days. I have to finish Christmas shopping but I am too tired. I also found out my nice suit is huge. I am going to have to force myself to shop, I need it next week for something interesting. If I don't it could prove dangerous, I could loose a skirt and everyone would go blind from the light of the moon. Not happening, good problem to have, imperfect timing of course. Anyone want to push me around in a stroller while I shop? Eh could be worse, I am actually in a pretty good mood.
So that's the view from here, germs, bedhead, sweats, dying swan, baggy clothes, and watching Toy Story for the 80 thousandth time with an even snottier set of tiny nostrils.
I really don't want to go to the doctors right now, for the reason I don't want to admit I am an ass and wasn't taking care of myself. I will admit it here, I'm sick this time because I didn't give myself enough time to recover, and I am an ass. We runners play too hard sometimes.
Time to shut up, rest, and dust of the nebulizer. I really don't like using it. I feel certain medications make me more hyper. The first time I ever got a neb it was at convenient care in walmart a few years ago I turned bright red, started shaking a little and felt like I could climb the walls like spiderman. I avoid those at all costs, they can't always be avoided. Also over the counter medications do that to me too, namely Sudafed. I am sick as a dog and suddenly my headache is gone and I want to go paint the house. So I guess it's good I can't really speak at all because I tend to blab on and on when on the phone to my poor friends.
I am grounded for a few days. I have to finish Christmas shopping but I am too tired. I also found out my nice suit is huge. I am going to have to force myself to shop, I need it next week for something interesting. If I don't it could prove dangerous, I could loose a skirt and everyone would go blind from the light of the moon. Not happening, good problem to have, imperfect timing of course. Anyone want to push me around in a stroller while I shop? Eh could be worse, I am actually in a pretty good mood.
So that's the view from here, germs, bedhead, sweats, dying swan, baggy clothes, and watching Toy Story for the 80 thousandth time with an even snottier set of tiny nostrils.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Checking in, holy craps its December 6th.
It's weird how life changes things. I think maybe, dare I say it, I am adjusting to being a mom at work. Maybe a little. Do I wish things were cleaner around here? Of course.(turns out that elf on the shelf doesn't earn it's keep at night.) Do I want more hours in the day? who doesn't. Have I found a stride? true. Probably time for more change, cause I am getting used to it, just saying that seems to be how it always happens.
I see some interesting stuff everyday. I really don't get much time to talk about it though. I used to be a huge talker. In fact that is why I started this blog back in the day, I didn't want to be the annoying talky chick. I have become more appreciative of conversations that I do have because I spend so much time alone driving around for work, but I am learning to respect silence too. Some days I see 8 people and spend lots of time with just me and them when I get home I am too pooped to talk. A lot of the time, once I am home, get everyone fed and all my work done it's late and I have already started to dose off while finishing up. Thank goodness for social media, really I would never recognize some of my girls. Still going to the gym and working out when I can and running too, all very solitary stuff, and that silence used to bug me, now I think its cool, no body wants anything from me. Treasure the company or enjoy solitude, you can do both. I dare I say I'm becoming quite possibly a little reserved. I don't know if that's a good thing.... note to self, schedule girls night.
I am so not ready for Christmas at all. I am not shopped at all, well like 15 minutes yesterday on my lunch break but other than that NOT at all. I don't know why I am so calm about it, this crap used to keep me up at night. I actually should be out in a store right now arguing with my 3 year old to behave but instead we are just chilling at home doing laundry and being lazy. I need to go shopping for house stuff too, today I had to use hotel shampoo samples. My hair is going to look like a hat if that happens 2 days in a row, I have sensitive follicles, very fussy. I am still just in this house really avoiding it. EH maybe later.
I have gotten in some pretty good workouts this week. Probably why I am so chilled out. I am seriously shopping for a marathon to enter and start training for soon, I think that is why I letting stuff roll over me more now. I need to get back on a schedule and working for a goal. I love routine, and hard work. Ready to start up again soon, hell I'm already doing 10 milers... okay.... just ready to commit then.
add a song? funny: A Working Day, Ben Folds
I see some interesting stuff everyday. I really don't get much time to talk about it though. I used to be a huge talker. In fact that is why I started this blog back in the day, I didn't want to be the annoying talky chick. I have become more appreciative of conversations that I do have because I spend so much time alone driving around for work, but I am learning to respect silence too. Some days I see 8 people and spend lots of time with just me and them when I get home I am too pooped to talk. A lot of the time, once I am home, get everyone fed and all my work done it's late and I have already started to dose off while finishing up. Thank goodness for social media, really I would never recognize some of my girls. Still going to the gym and working out when I can and running too, all very solitary stuff, and that silence used to bug me, now I think its cool, no body wants anything from me. Treasure the company or enjoy solitude, you can do both. I dare I say I'm becoming quite possibly a little reserved. I don't know if that's a good thing.... note to self, schedule girls night.
I am so not ready for Christmas at all. I am not shopped at all, well like 15 minutes yesterday on my lunch break but other than that NOT at all. I don't know why I am so calm about it, this crap used to keep me up at night. I actually should be out in a store right now arguing with my 3 year old to behave but instead we are just chilling at home doing laundry and being lazy. I need to go shopping for house stuff too, today I had to use hotel shampoo samples. My hair is going to look like a hat if that happens 2 days in a row, I have sensitive follicles, very fussy. I am still just in this house really avoiding it. EH maybe later.
I have gotten in some pretty good workouts this week. Probably why I am so chilled out. I am seriously shopping for a marathon to enter and start training for soon, I think that is why I letting stuff roll over me more now. I need to get back on a schedule and working for a goal. I love routine, and hard work. Ready to start up again soon, hell I'm already doing 10 milers... okay.... just ready to commit then.
add a song? funny: A Working Day, Ben Folds
Thursday, November 29, 2012
a years work
feb 2012
august
june
Saturday, November 24, 2012
oh yes I did
sweaty and wearing a stuffed turkey on my dome, that's how I roll.
ps Jan great race girl!
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
For Unis*
I really don't want to talk about my life right now, we could just say I flew by the seat of my pants x7 that's my week. This is about Unis
Setting the scene to yikes 13 years ago to my first personal care job. My first real education on what bed side nursing actually was. I was 19 years old working 3-11 in a personal care home. I guess because I some medical experience and I was in nursing school I gave off the impression I knew what I was doing. I really didn't train long, so I began my hands on education with people here. The nuts and bolts I knew, I understood medications and diagnosis but I didn't expect having a steady shift in a place like this meant getting to know people. This made me nervous, I was terrified.
It was easy for the most part, smile be on time and polite do what they need, except when it came to Unis. Unis had Alzheimers. On my working area she was the only person with a cognitive problem, because that floor was not meant for those patients. Unis somehow remained in her same room as she progressed into her childlike state. She never tried to anywhere so the owners where statisfied with her room assingment. I had heard stories from the girl that trained me that Unis had struck her before, this woman was not petite either it, that made me nervous. During my training I kept my distance, the girl precepting me was frustrated with trying to get her to get dressed for bed and take her medications, I was just in the way.
The First time I had charge of the area alone and it was time to take Unis to the dining hall she didn't want to go. But she wasn't a mean lady at all, what was I afraid of? Child like is exactly how I would describe her, her face sweet and innocent. My knee jerk reaction was to be a goof, and ask her to dance with me(I was scared). She smiled and showed me her dance frame pose. As we trotted around the room she sang a little nonsense song. I think right then I decided I would be hanging with her every chance I got. I some how got her to promanade to the dining hall and back.
As the year went on we laughed and sang through dinner and bed time through good days and bad days. Unis never took a swing at me. She taught me unconditional love. Unis didn't care if I was having a bad hair day, or if I my clothes didn't match. She couldn't remember what happened hour to hour but she knew my face and she trusted me. She changed me, the former stuck up young woman was now turning on lawrence welk in the common area on purpose so I could dance and sing as I passed the snacks at bedtime to my residents. There were times I would get busted when someone came of the elevator and I had my arms extended and a leg in the air doing some silly to make someone smile it was totally worth being embarrassed.
After I left the personal care home to finish nursing school I got word that Unis died. I went to the funeral home and gave her family a rose. I only stayed for a minute, introduced myself to the family and I told them how much I loved her and I cried.
Unis still sticks with me. She taught me that joy and love can come out of anywhere. She popps in my head sometimes when I loose faith in people and it helps me to try a little harder.
Song for Unis: Alicia Keys, Girl On Fire
*unis is not the name of the real lady.
Setting the scene to yikes 13 years ago to my first personal care job. My first real education on what bed side nursing actually was. I was 19 years old working 3-11 in a personal care home. I guess because I some medical experience and I was in nursing school I gave off the impression I knew what I was doing. I really didn't train long, so I began my hands on education with people here. The nuts and bolts I knew, I understood medications and diagnosis but I didn't expect having a steady shift in a place like this meant getting to know people. This made me nervous, I was terrified.
It was easy for the most part, smile be on time and polite do what they need, except when it came to Unis. Unis had Alzheimers. On my working area she was the only person with a cognitive problem, because that floor was not meant for those patients. Unis somehow remained in her same room as she progressed into her childlike state. She never tried to anywhere so the owners where statisfied with her room assingment. I had heard stories from the girl that trained me that Unis had struck her before, this woman was not petite either it, that made me nervous. During my training I kept my distance, the girl precepting me was frustrated with trying to get her to get dressed for bed and take her medications, I was just in the way.
The First time I had charge of the area alone and it was time to take Unis to the dining hall she didn't want to go. But she wasn't a mean lady at all, what was I afraid of? Child like is exactly how I would describe her, her face sweet and innocent. My knee jerk reaction was to be a goof, and ask her to dance with me(I was scared). She smiled and showed me her dance frame pose. As we trotted around the room she sang a little nonsense song. I think right then I decided I would be hanging with her every chance I got. I some how got her to promanade to the dining hall and back.
As the year went on we laughed and sang through dinner and bed time through good days and bad days. Unis never took a swing at me. She taught me unconditional love. Unis didn't care if I was having a bad hair day, or if I my clothes didn't match. She couldn't remember what happened hour to hour but she knew my face and she trusted me. She changed me, the former stuck up young woman was now turning on lawrence welk in the common area on purpose so I could dance and sing as I passed the snacks at bedtime to my residents. There were times I would get busted when someone came of the elevator and I had my arms extended and a leg in the air doing some silly to make someone smile it was totally worth being embarrassed.
After I left the personal care home to finish nursing school I got word that Unis died. I went to the funeral home and gave her family a rose. I only stayed for a minute, introduced myself to the family and I told them how much I loved her and I cried.
Unis still sticks with me. She taught me that joy and love can come out of anywhere. She popps in my head sometimes when I loose faith in people and it helps me to try a little harder.
Song for Unis: Alicia Keys, Girl On Fire
*unis is not the name of the real lady.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Chins up.
Lately everything has been wrong. After a long stretch of good times, home runs, and squeaking by I started a little ahem, bad streak. I hate to call it bad luck. Most of witch I have whined about, some I can't whine about, and some I'll whine about later. I am finding myself stressed, and pissy a lot. I don't like that at all. Not only all of that now NOW I have a wrinkle. shiiiiiiit. Yep my baby face is creased, whatever at least I got some wit to back up my character right? So I am working on my positive mojo. Let's review and spin it in the right direction shall we?
Things are slowly improving, we are sort of getting back into a routine as a family since little dude's surgery. There maybe some mommy withdrawls happening, sighting the unsightly ankle biter attached to me every spare minute but it IS getting better. This morning the older one gave the smaller one a new toy just to be nice, small things like that make me happy.
As for my job and settling, eh it's there. I do have about 50 million senior citizen buddies now. Ha! So I guess it pays to work your fanny off, team gray BeaverCounty has my back. I try to serve others to the best of my ability, golden rule stuff. It's fun to meet new people, and I still sort of get to maintain some work relationships. So I guess it has its moments, the day sure goes fast! I miss my coworkers a lot though.
The fittness level is still there, at a nice moderation right now enough to burn calories and stress not enough time for ouchies and overuse fun like chaffe. I plan on a turkey trot coming up, my annual holiday with my Kenyan bud, I plan to wear a stuffed turkey on my head. I love to be absurd, I love turkey, and silly is good for my soul. I have been too serious about everything lately I plan on really being an sillyass. It maybe time to start planning a big race for next year to look forward to, I know I said probably no marathon but I think maybe I just am a marathoner now. I still maintain never have run a half marathon yet.
The diet? Oh yeah, um my scale batteries have died about a little over a week ago. I think I have lost a few since my halloween candy parent taxing, but I don't know. The scale takes these goofy batteries that I don't know where to find so I am working on that. And there is now where in public to strip to skin to weigh in so that will have to wait. I will say my clothing is the smallest it's ever been. *big toothy grin* I am getting more comfortable with myself, I think I could still stand to loose a few though. I get a lot of complements from people, it's strange to hear someone who doesn't know me from before call me "tiny" it makes me want to school them on the last 4 years. I am not tiny, I am still over weight by a few pounds.
Friends? I have some of the best friends ever. As my life has gotten complicated my friends have extended their selves, just an example my mom had to go to the hospital unexpected and 2 of my bffs ever each took turns sitting with my kids so I could be there with her until I knew she would be alright. It's hard when the hubbs is in the busy season and mom is usually my help. It was overwhelming how cared for I felt. I am lucky and thankful. (ps mom's all better now thank god).
I refuse to let this year end on a bad note. I may be going through a rough patch but I refuse to let it stay that way. I think this year needs to end on a high note and that friends is what I am working for. Insert cliche here about lemonade. So Chins up, shoulders back, gut in, boobs out. Okay maybe boobs in. ;)
Onward friends.
Things are slowly improving, we are sort of getting back into a routine as a family since little dude's surgery. There maybe some mommy withdrawls happening, sighting the unsightly ankle biter attached to me every spare minute but it IS getting better. This morning the older one gave the smaller one a new toy just to be nice, small things like that make me happy.
As for my job and settling, eh it's there. I do have about 50 million senior citizen buddies now. Ha! So I guess it pays to work your fanny off, team gray BeaverCounty has my back. I try to serve others to the best of my ability, golden rule stuff. It's fun to meet new people, and I still sort of get to maintain some work relationships. So I guess it has its moments, the day sure goes fast! I miss my coworkers a lot though.
The fittness level is still there, at a nice moderation right now enough to burn calories and stress not enough time for ouchies and overuse fun like chaffe. I plan on a turkey trot coming up, my annual holiday with my Kenyan bud, I plan to wear a stuffed turkey on my head. I love to be absurd, I love turkey, and silly is good for my soul. I have been too serious about everything lately I plan on really being an sillyass. It maybe time to start planning a big race for next year to look forward to, I know I said probably no marathon but I think maybe I just am a marathoner now. I still maintain never have run a half marathon yet.
The diet? Oh yeah, um my scale batteries have died about a little over a week ago. I think I have lost a few since my halloween candy parent taxing, but I don't know. The scale takes these goofy batteries that I don't know where to find so I am working on that. And there is now where in public to strip to skin to weigh in so that will have to wait. I will say my clothing is the smallest it's ever been. *big toothy grin* I am getting more comfortable with myself, I think I could still stand to loose a few though. I get a lot of complements from people, it's strange to hear someone who doesn't know me from before call me "tiny" it makes me want to school them on the last 4 years. I am not tiny, I am still over weight by a few pounds.
Friends? I have some of the best friends ever. As my life has gotten complicated my friends have extended their selves, just an example my mom had to go to the hospital unexpected and 2 of my bffs ever each took turns sitting with my kids so I could be there with her until I knew she would be alright. It's hard when the hubbs is in the busy season and mom is usually my help. It was overwhelming how cared for I felt. I am lucky and thankful. (ps mom's all better now thank god).
I refuse to let this year end on a bad note. I may be going through a rough patch but I refuse to let it stay that way. I think this year needs to end on a high note and that friends is what I am working for. Insert cliche here about lemonade. So Chins up, shoulders back, gut in, boobs out. Okay maybe boobs in. ;)
Onward friends.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
October's standings
Well, I am going to have to break my law of no whining because I don't think I would have a blog at this point.
This month hit me like a freight train and kept going. After my last blog my entire house got the stomach flu, then after we all recovered I got a sinus infection. I did a round of antibiotics and a shot of steroids, then, my youngest child, 3 years old, had his tonsils out. Now this child is sick most of the year and has had surgery once already, for some reason I felt like I could handle this situation at this point in my life figuring it couldn't be too much awful worse than the last one, I mean he was a lot younger right. Oh WRONG> wrong wrong! I was wayyyyyyy off. Yeah it was horrible. He's officially 15 days post op and he's still not right yet. I had to take him to the doctors last week for a horrible cough and the doctor gave him antibiotics and the news, both his ear tubes are out, meaning he may need more surgery, enough to make an adult cry.... In fact it did. I have only just within the last few days started to sleep straight through the night, I was tired, my major stress is my kids and their health, so yeah I broke down and squirted some emotion. He was so miserable, I expected about half of the level of intense sickie-ness. It's so hard to watch them suffer.
So I took about a week off work and I got zero done at my house. Its actually worse looking now since I was off. My mom did a few days in the hospital too on top of everything else I can say we ate food, we got our medicines in, and that's about it. My laundry is backed up so bad I fear it will never be done.
With this happening I really haven't been myself. I have been worried, over tired, and now starting to get sad. I have been exercising when I get chances too but this last month its been few and far between. It's probably a good thing to preserve the energy as I heal further, although I am sure no injury has stuck with me. I really want to get back into my routine. As for goal setting for this year I want to get to my goal weight and get back in my routine! I miss it. I want the world to turn and sit upright again. I like sleep too, even 6 hours a night would be a treat and a half.
Right now I am home, cooking cleaning and taking a rare break to blog I am already over run with stuff to do, what is a few minutes? Really who gives a rats bum.
This month hit me like a freight train and kept going. After my last blog my entire house got the stomach flu, then after we all recovered I got a sinus infection. I did a round of antibiotics and a shot of steroids, then, my youngest child, 3 years old, had his tonsils out. Now this child is sick most of the year and has had surgery once already, for some reason I felt like I could handle this situation at this point in my life figuring it couldn't be too much awful worse than the last one, I mean he was a lot younger right. Oh WRONG> wrong wrong! I was wayyyyyyy off. Yeah it was horrible. He's officially 15 days post op and he's still not right yet. I had to take him to the doctors last week for a horrible cough and the doctor gave him antibiotics and the news, both his ear tubes are out, meaning he may need more surgery, enough to make an adult cry.... In fact it did. I have only just within the last few days started to sleep straight through the night, I was tired, my major stress is my kids and their health, so yeah I broke down and squirted some emotion. He was so miserable, I expected about half of the level of intense sickie-ness. It's so hard to watch them suffer.
So I took about a week off work and I got zero done at my house. Its actually worse looking now since I was off. My mom did a few days in the hospital too on top of everything else I can say we ate food, we got our medicines in, and that's about it. My laundry is backed up so bad I fear it will never be done.
With this happening I really haven't been myself. I have been worried, over tired, and now starting to get sad. I have been exercising when I get chances too but this last month its been few and far between. It's probably a good thing to preserve the energy as I heal further, although I am sure no injury has stuck with me. I really want to get back into my routine. As for goal setting for this year I want to get to my goal weight and get back in my routine! I miss it. I want the world to turn and sit upright again. I like sleep too, even 6 hours a night would be a treat and a half.
Right now I am home, cooking cleaning and taking a rare break to blog I am already over run with stuff to do, what is a few minutes? Really who gives a rats bum.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
I forgot pictures!
getting up to blogspeed.
I am a busy chick. I am back to running again. Not far and not very fast yet but I am getting back to normal when my schedule permits which it usually doesn't. I am kinda overwhelmed. Have I adjusted to my new job since I started in April well, not really. I wonder if I will ever get there. As for the new mom routine I am still working on that too. Having one child in school and another in preschool isn't quite second nature yet. I am not really blogging lately because I don't want to whine about my frustration, it's not anyone else's problem. I really do feel like half a person right now. I am trying to meet the challenges I face with as much grace as possible. Sometimes if you don't have anything nice to say you should just not talk.
I haven't really set any goals for myself lately to keep my mind in a positive direction so I'm going to be doing that soon. One direction I plan to go in is to loose the remaining weight and get to my goal. That crack down has already started today. I admit to letting it slip the last few weeks, I feel healthy enough to move forward. My hair has even started to comeback. That is a huge relief. If its one thing a girl will get all worked up about it her hair falling out. But I need to find something to start working on some sort of goal to tweek at and keep my head out of the dumps, a race, eh I don't know if another marathon is the answer at least not for another year. So I have my antennaie out thinking of something to work for.
I haven't really set any goals for myself lately to keep my mind in a positive direction so I'm going to be doing that soon. One direction I plan to go in is to loose the remaining weight and get to my goal. That crack down has already started today. I admit to letting it slip the last few weeks, I feel healthy enough to move forward. My hair has even started to comeback. That is a huge relief. If its one thing a girl will get all worked up about it her hair falling out. But I need to find something to start working on some sort of goal to tweek at and keep my head out of the dumps, a race, eh I don't know if another marathon is the answer at least not for another year. So I have my antennaie out thinking of something to work for.
Friday, September 28, 2012
restaroo
yep I'm still not running. I am not hurting at all. trying to behave myself. almost to 2 solid weeks not running. It's getting old. I am starting to want a punching bag. THIS girl is going to hit the gym next week. No runs but getting really to start pushing the weight again.
I want to run...but I'm not.. that's all.
this blog as of right now is alllllmost to 8500 views. holy.crap.
I want to run...but I'm not.. that's all.
this blog as of right now is alllllmost to 8500 views. holy.crap.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
marathon epilogue
This was the first year I was sturdy on my feet enough to actually walk back to the car. Duuuude that is the crappiest part. The good thing about being last last year was that Hubbs brought me the car and threw me in and drove me back to the hotel. This year I didn't do the whole medical tent deal, I just shot them a lame shotgun pointer finger. Why do I do that? I can't stand the lameness of the pointing I did at people during the race. It's like some lame oldster in a disco saying things like Dyn-o-Mite! I don't know why but I did A LOT.
Walking back to the vdubbs though brutal, I finally dismissed Hubbs from walking with me to go get the car and pull it up to me. Every step really does come with a vowel, or noun, or verb of some type. We ended up staying together and I walked the whole distance to the car. I got in and he took me back to the hotel. We got all our stuff together and checked out of the hotel after I got my shower.
On the way home we had to stop for food or potty like 6 times. It was a long ride home. I got craky by the last 20 minutes in the car cause it hurt. By the time I got home and off my sore butt it was already 5pm. Waiting on my porch was one of the biggest Mumms I have ever seen with a note from my Aunt Sherry. :) And then My mother in law brought my boys back bathed with dinner for me and Hubbs. I am so blessed to have so many people support this/and or me. I just really appreciate it all. Thank you everyone for your support, help, and prayers.
I am glad it's all said and done. I am proud of myself. Really.
Walking back to the vdubbs though brutal, I finally dismissed Hubbs from walking with me to go get the car and pull it up to me. Every step really does come with a vowel, or noun, or verb of some type. We ended up staying together and I walked the whole distance to the car. I got in and he took me back to the hotel. We got all our stuff together and checked out of the hotel after I got my shower.
On the way home we had to stop for food or potty like 6 times. It was a long ride home. I got craky by the last 20 minutes in the car cause it hurt. By the time I got home and off my sore butt it was already 5pm. Waiting on my porch was one of the biggest Mumms I have ever seen with a note from my Aunt Sherry. :) And then My mother in law brought my boys back bathed with dinner for me and Hubbs. I am so blessed to have so many people support this/and or me. I just really appreciate it all. Thank you everyone for your support, help, and prayers.
I am glad it's all said and done. I am proud of myself. Really.
9-16-12 Erie Marathon race report
I was up at 3:30 am. I admit it. I sat on the couch in the hotel room and looked through my phone in the dark. I am looking at pictures of my boys and I started my slow burn. This is scary to me (racing 26.2) because I have kids. I am not at all afraid I can't, or that I will get hurt, I am afraid of not coming home to them. I said some prayers and admittidly cried a little, or if you will leaked some awesome.
I got dressed and suited up smoothly. Everything planned out. We left in plenty of time. We arrived to the park with enough time for me to walk from the parking lot with Hubbs in the dark. Presque Isle is pretty dark at night and the stars are amazing. It was nice to take time and look up.
Not much to say about the darkness and waiting for the gun to go off. I just felt buzzed. I love this crap, not many people understand it except for the group of about 700 fellow psychos standing next to me. You get excited even if it's a contact high.
It took me about a minute to get over the start this year. I lined up with the 11 pace group. The course was beautiful the mood was light. I didn't leave the group right away this time. The first 2 miles I tried to slow myself down but I did 2 10 minute miles. Then I stopped off to pee at at restroom. It's not as bad as some people I saw 'watering' trees that includes a T-100(meaning a running tool) girl she didn't even bother to hide. I actually looked at a runner beside me and said "HOLY SHIT". It really was amazing to me, but during the marathon there are no rules its a crazy dash and privacy and modesty slow you down.
The first 10k was pretty cool. Happy and smiling Manda the whole way, chit chatting a little with others because I was still in a pack. Around mile 5 though I was so concentrated on the good vibe I wasn't paying attention to my GU. I opened it and decided i wouldn't take it all in one bite, as I ran it blobbed out down the side of my fingers and everywhere. I think well sticky is no fun but I am going to ignore it. About another mile down the road I got salty sunblock sweat in my eye and quickly went in for a wipe, ah with the sticky hand. I didn't think about that until after I had glued my eye lid open. Yes, I totally did. My right eye from about mile 6 until about mile 14 was glued open. This year I brought sunglasses thankfully I just put them on. It just made me smile more to know under those glasses I looked like FireMarshallBill.
The second 10k I began seeing fasties from the Half marathon. And they were wizzing by me. I continued to enjoy myself. Every once in a while I would shout to someone passing me because I like to encourage others especially when they close a 1/2 hour gap like that. I crossed the half way point in 2:30, and skipped on down the road. still not totally solitary. We were weeding in numbers. The stronger ones had gone on ahead but there were a few right with me. I think that only one other woman and like 3 guys, and we stayed together most of that 3rd 10k. We all talked a little. Hubbs met me on the side of the road with a bottle of nuun and beef jerky, I told him he looked sexy. After 14 miles a man waiting for you with beef jerky just is sexy. Just about right then when I got to far from him to justify turning around my left foot started to hurt under the laces. I began dreaming out finding ibuprofen on the ground. But I kept on with my fellow runners. I noticed around 15 that I lost my Pearl Izumi arm warmer, just one of them. DAMNIT> I was sad :( they are cool. I tied the other around my belt as tight as I could at that point and kept going.
I saw my mom around mile 18. She crossed the race course to get to me and had a baggie of beef jerky a bottle of nuun and a banana. I took the jerky and nuun. She asked how I was I told her I would prostitute myself for a tylenol. She went across the street and gave me an Aleve out of her purse, I took it on my way down the road thanking her over my shoulder.
I was stretching out on the course very few stragglers on my radar the same 3 but we weren't together now. I am still feeling good. Even at the 20 marker where Hubbs was I was still pretty good, I was happy with this race so far. I didn't take another bottle of water with nuun I told him to leave it for me on the other side on his way back through to the finish. I never did get that bottle. Around 22 I started getting pretty tired. I started throwing in walk breaks and eating my beef jerky. I got a little crampy at one point and I actually took a dry nuun tablet and tucked it in my cheek. Mind you these tablets are kinda like alkazelter and they are delicous with water, they are not so good when you are frothing at the mouth and have to swallow it. But at some point you go with what works for what you need. As I made the last turn to run back the last 4 miles all the water stops were so encouraging. It really was not as scary as last time. My foot was hurting but not enough to stop I kept my form strong the whole time. I tried to encourage those I past along the last stretch. Telling them how far they had left and asking them if they wanted some of my beef jerky. They all looked like I felt last year. I was running strong just taking walk breaks for rest at that point.
At mile 23 a miracle, my arm warmer just laying there for me to pick up. I bend over and picked it up and waved it around my head like helicopter and shouted WOOOOHOOOOO BABY. There was one older gentleman on my 6 the whole time he laughed at me. I really don't mind. I was tripping on the wall. In fact at this point my MP3 player started playing manomanah. The muppets song. I found this hilarous. I kept going and I played it on repeat like 3 times. I sang along. Why was this on there? Not entirely sure but how funny! At the end of the line I let my MP3 player roll and I think the last song I heard was Fall Out Boy, Where is your boy. Because I took off my belt in the home stretch and threw it at my mom and yelled "pick up my shit!" I can't tell you why I did that. I hate a belt but I should have just left it on. Whatever you do weird stuff when you are a little dry.
So I double timed it in. I remembered not to hug the lady with the medal. She asked me if I wanted a chocolate milk and I yelled "AH HELL NO I'LL THROW UP" I found Hubbs and mom and went and sat down in the dirt then I laid down in the dirt. I needed a rest. I am happy to report I did get up and walk my butt over to the food and eat before we left. My time clock time 5:29:01. My chip time 5:28:41, I looked it up later.
I know this is so much shorter than last year, but I didn't think much. I loved it, I was so blessed to be able to do it again. I was fortunate to have an excellent summer training injury free and smooth race!!! Really I want to do another one next year. The jury is still out on this of course I need to get back to normal first. I still have quite the runners high. if anyone is paying attention that is 30 minutes difference from last year. :O And about 50 others finished after me.
I got dressed and suited up smoothly. Everything planned out. We left in plenty of time. We arrived to the park with enough time for me to walk from the parking lot with Hubbs in the dark. Presque Isle is pretty dark at night and the stars are amazing. It was nice to take time and look up.
Not much to say about the darkness and waiting for the gun to go off. I just felt buzzed. I love this crap, not many people understand it except for the group of about 700 fellow psychos standing next to me. You get excited even if it's a contact high.
It took me about a minute to get over the start this year. I lined up with the 11 pace group. The course was beautiful the mood was light. I didn't leave the group right away this time. The first 2 miles I tried to slow myself down but I did 2 10 minute miles. Then I stopped off to pee at at restroom. It's not as bad as some people I saw 'watering' trees that includes a T-100(meaning a running tool) girl she didn't even bother to hide. I actually looked at a runner beside me and said "HOLY SHIT". It really was amazing to me, but during the marathon there are no rules its a crazy dash and privacy and modesty slow you down.
The first 10k was pretty cool. Happy and smiling Manda the whole way, chit chatting a little with others because I was still in a pack. Around mile 5 though I was so concentrated on the good vibe I wasn't paying attention to my GU. I opened it and decided i wouldn't take it all in one bite, as I ran it blobbed out down the side of my fingers and everywhere. I think well sticky is no fun but I am going to ignore it. About another mile down the road I got salty sunblock sweat in my eye and quickly went in for a wipe, ah with the sticky hand. I didn't think about that until after I had glued my eye lid open. Yes, I totally did. My right eye from about mile 6 until about mile 14 was glued open. This year I brought sunglasses thankfully I just put them on. It just made me smile more to know under those glasses I looked like FireMarshallBill.
The second 10k I began seeing fasties from the Half marathon. And they were wizzing by me. I continued to enjoy myself. Every once in a while I would shout to someone passing me because I like to encourage others especially when they close a 1/2 hour gap like that. I crossed the half way point in 2:30, and skipped on down the road. still not totally solitary. We were weeding in numbers. The stronger ones had gone on ahead but there were a few right with me. I think that only one other woman and like 3 guys, and we stayed together most of that 3rd 10k. We all talked a little. Hubbs met me on the side of the road with a bottle of nuun and beef jerky, I told him he looked sexy. After 14 miles a man waiting for you with beef jerky just is sexy. Just about right then when I got to far from him to justify turning around my left foot started to hurt under the laces. I began dreaming out finding ibuprofen on the ground. But I kept on with my fellow runners. I noticed around 15 that I lost my Pearl Izumi arm warmer, just one of them. DAMNIT> I was sad :( they are cool. I tied the other around my belt as tight as I could at that point and kept going.
I saw my mom around mile 18. She crossed the race course to get to me and had a baggie of beef jerky a bottle of nuun and a banana. I took the jerky and nuun. She asked how I was I told her I would prostitute myself for a tylenol. She went across the street and gave me an Aleve out of her purse, I took it on my way down the road thanking her over my shoulder.
I was stretching out on the course very few stragglers on my radar the same 3 but we weren't together now. I am still feeling good. Even at the 20 marker where Hubbs was I was still pretty good, I was happy with this race so far. I didn't take another bottle of water with nuun I told him to leave it for me on the other side on his way back through to the finish. I never did get that bottle. Around 22 I started getting pretty tired. I started throwing in walk breaks and eating my beef jerky. I got a little crampy at one point and I actually took a dry nuun tablet and tucked it in my cheek. Mind you these tablets are kinda like alkazelter and they are delicous with water, they are not so good when you are frothing at the mouth and have to swallow it. But at some point you go with what works for what you need. As I made the last turn to run back the last 4 miles all the water stops were so encouraging. It really was not as scary as last time. My foot was hurting but not enough to stop I kept my form strong the whole time. I tried to encourage those I past along the last stretch. Telling them how far they had left and asking them if they wanted some of my beef jerky. They all looked like I felt last year. I was running strong just taking walk breaks for rest at that point.
At mile 23 a miracle, my arm warmer just laying there for me to pick up. I bend over and picked it up and waved it around my head like helicopter and shouted WOOOOHOOOOO BABY. There was one older gentleman on my 6 the whole time he laughed at me. I really don't mind. I was tripping on the wall. In fact at this point my MP3 player started playing manomanah. The muppets song. I found this hilarous. I kept going and I played it on repeat like 3 times. I sang along. Why was this on there? Not entirely sure but how funny! At the end of the line I let my MP3 player roll and I think the last song I heard was Fall Out Boy, Where is your boy. Because I took off my belt in the home stretch and threw it at my mom and yelled "pick up my shit!" I can't tell you why I did that. I hate a belt but I should have just left it on. Whatever you do weird stuff when you are a little dry.
So I double timed it in. I remembered not to hug the lady with the medal. She asked me if I wanted a chocolate milk and I yelled "AH HELL NO I'LL THROW UP" I found Hubbs and mom and went and sat down in the dirt then I laid down in the dirt. I needed a rest. I am happy to report I did get up and walk my butt over to the food and eat before we left. My time clock time 5:29:01. My chip time 5:28:41, I looked it up later.
I know this is so much shorter than last year, but I didn't think much. I loved it, I was so blessed to be able to do it again. I was fortunate to have an excellent summer training injury free and smooth race!!! Really I want to do another one next year. The jury is still out on this of course I need to get back to normal first. I still have quite the runners high. if anyone is paying attention that is 30 minutes difference from last year. :O And about 50 others finished after me.
september 15th
I don't have a lot to say about pre race day, it was a crazy hot mess. I had to get the kids to grandmas, and get ready.
On the way there we had to drive an hour out of the way to stop at a VW dealer for coolant. Apparently, Volkswagons have magic pink coolant that is made from the glitter than Unicorns fart and that is the only coolant you can put in my vdubb. If we put USA coolant in it the car would die. So being already "late" by my standards we picked that up.
On the way there sitting with Hubbs in my vdubbs, there was various discussion that all came to one point, I tend to be an ass when I am nervous.
We finally made it to packet pick up and I lined up for my race bag. Same dude at the window. He doesn't remember me. He shouldn't recognize me, or remember me. He's polite and conversational I take my bag and walk away. I still didn't feel like looking around at the race expo, I was ready to go. So we left.
Did I feel weird at this point, sure I did. But I felt ready.
We got dinner, went to Walmart and got gas and camped out at the hotel, the mood got lighter at this point. We started having fun joking around like we tend to do, it's good to be married to someone that is as crazy as you are. We don't spend enough time together.
I didn't sleep well or easy that night. I tried, it didn't happen. I wanted to get this race over with.
On the way there we had to drive an hour out of the way to stop at a VW dealer for coolant. Apparently, Volkswagons have magic pink coolant that is made from the glitter than Unicorns fart and that is the only coolant you can put in my vdubb. If we put USA coolant in it the car would die. So being already "late" by my standards we picked that up.
On the way there sitting with Hubbs in my vdubbs, there was various discussion that all came to one point, I tend to be an ass when I am nervous.
We finally made it to packet pick up and I lined up for my race bag. Same dude at the window. He doesn't remember me. He shouldn't recognize me, or remember me. He's polite and conversational I take my bag and walk away. I still didn't feel like looking around at the race expo, I was ready to go. So we left.
Did I feel weird at this point, sure I did. But I felt ready.
We got dinner, went to Walmart and got gas and camped out at the hotel, the mood got lighter at this point. We started having fun joking around like we tend to do, it's good to be married to someone that is as crazy as you are. We don't spend enough time together.
I didn't sleep well or easy that night. I tried, it didn't happen. I wanted to get this race over with.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
the short of it.
Nothing like me leaving you hanging on forever....
We Erie was a success. It was really a great race. I have a lot to say but i am still resting up getting my "shit" back together.
My time 5:28:41 per my chip. I checked the results from the timing services 50 some finished after I did. I shaved a half an hour and did not finish last. Shattering all my expectations really. There will be a couple marathon blogs coming up.
Note after running and getting home onto my bed on sunday around 5pm I called my patients for the next day to schedule. Then after a very short restless night I worked Monday and was on call monday evening. Today I was off but I am the definition of exhausted. Today I got to the grocery store and by the time I pushed my cart up the small grade to my car I realized I had dropped tangerines every few inches. I am sorry to say I littered but I didn't have it in me to go back and pick them up.
I am just going to spew crap on the key board if I start the recap now. I need another day or two to really absorb all the awesomeness.
Understand I am sore as hell, upright, and still on a runners high.
love to all. blog soon
We Erie was a success. It was really a great race. I have a lot to say but i am still resting up getting my "shit" back together.
My time 5:28:41 per my chip. I checked the results from the timing services 50 some finished after I did. I shaved a half an hour and did not finish last. Shattering all my expectations really. There will be a couple marathon blogs coming up.
Note after running and getting home onto my bed on sunday around 5pm I called my patients for the next day to schedule. Then after a very short restless night I worked Monday and was on call monday evening. Today I was off but I am the definition of exhausted. Today I got to the grocery store and by the time I pushed my cart up the small grade to my car I realized I had dropped tangerines every few inches. I am sorry to say I littered but I didn't have it in me to go back and pick them up.
I am just going to spew crap on the key board if I start the recap now. I need another day or two to really absorb all the awesomeness.
Understand I am sore as hell, upright, and still on a runners high.
love to all. blog soon
Saturday, September 15, 2012
going off to erie
Here we go kids.
I should be packing the car. I am freaking out. I just realized I blocked all that "freaking miracle" stuff out this last year. I let it back in. I am overwhelmed with it all again. Now I go with my game face to packet pick up a new girl. I got to the race the same girl as last year. I put freakng miracle back on my shirt this year, I am representing me 365 days ago. I am shaky today I admit it. But understand.... It's on baby.
love you guys for all your support I take you in my heart with me.
I should be packing the car. I am freaking out. I just realized I blocked all that "freaking miracle" stuff out this last year. I let it back in. I am overwhelmed with it all again. Now I go with my game face to packet pick up a new girl. I got to the race the same girl as last year. I put freakng miracle back on my shirt this year, I am representing me 365 days ago. I am shaky today I admit it. But understand.... It's on baby.
love you guys for all your support I take you in my heart with me.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
traning completed
I did my last run before this years erie marathon. I am trying not to get all gushy here but I pulled out the box. What's the box? it's a shoe box of my shirt from last year i raced in, my number, peices of the race I kept like my foil blanket, and my finish line picture. I am not wearing that shirt ever again it was meant for that day, but I tried it on. I am wierd I guess I just wanted to see if there was a difference from last year. I know this shirt is a little bigger but I am not seeing this huge difference I am supposed to be seeing. I don' think I ever will I guess. It feels like with all the work I put in it should be huge but maybe it just isn't? But I passed my fingers over all the things from last year I felt were so valuable that I had to save forever and I am a little choked up. I was so disgusted with my finish line picture I never framed it. I am not the best looking girl ever, and last year I was really ashamed to line up looking the way I did. You ever just realize how brave you were and shudder? I did. I was so close up in it all I just assumed the position I was sensitive about my size but I kept my head up. It's been a whole year now I am actually proud of that girl I was. I hope I can only do her justice this year.
I am ready to start packing for Erie now. Prayerfully meditating about the days to come.
I posted this video last year and took it down 5 minutes later because I was ashamed of my size. This is the last 200 meters of my marathon. I was in pain. I was in shock. I still think about these last few yards and my ears buzz and i get goose bumps. I am ready to post it now.
I am ready to start packing for Erie now. Prayerfully meditating about the days to come.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
no time for taper madness.
I am thinking I maybe in the violation of the no whining zone so I am going to make this sound as positive as I can.
The last week at my job was insane complete with my weekend on duty I am just exhausted. I am trying to cultivate this into goodness. Last year I was freaking out every 5 seconds about the race. I was packed like a week before, I was so worried about everything I wasn't really nice to be around. Well now I am so busy with my other commitments in life the time is on warp speed and hasn't slowed for a minute. That's good i guess. I am trying to work on hydration this week and maybe stocking up on my supplies if I get a minute. I am almost out of foot goop!!! (eucerin cream) It's amazing the difference a year makes.
This morning was my second to last work out before the race. I set out for an easy 3 and it turned into speed work. I just needed to leave everything on hold and really shake it off. I really tried to slow down but my feet didn't get the message. It felt good though. I could of went all day. I guess it's a good idea to wait for sunday.
I will run one more time Thursday... that's all my life permits, it's okay though I am resting.
I am ready for the race unprepared, packed or whatever, I NEED 26.2 of vacation. I can't wait.
weight today 165 even.
The last week at my job was insane complete with my weekend on duty I am just exhausted. I am trying to cultivate this into goodness. Last year I was freaking out every 5 seconds about the race. I was packed like a week before, I was so worried about everything I wasn't really nice to be around. Well now I am so busy with my other commitments in life the time is on warp speed and hasn't slowed for a minute. That's good i guess. I am trying to work on hydration this week and maybe stocking up on my supplies if I get a minute. I am almost out of foot goop!!! (eucerin cream) It's amazing the difference a year makes.
This morning was my second to last work out before the race. I set out for an easy 3 and it turned into speed work. I just needed to leave everything on hold and really shake it off. I really tried to slow down but my feet didn't get the message. It felt good though. I could of went all day. I guess it's a good idea to wait for sunday.
I will run one more time Thursday... that's all my life permits, it's okay though I am resting.
I am ready for the race unprepared, packed or whatever, I NEED 26.2 of vacation. I can't wait.
weight today 165 even.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
10days to go
The countdown starts. Today I weigh 168. BOOOOOOO.
I have gotten down to 159 but it involved a colonscopy and laxatives. But I have been holding 165. I have managed to eat and stress up to 168. I am pissed. At me mainly. I am at the actual best shape of my life- ever. I am a size 8 dress, size 10 jeans, size small or medium workout clothes, I think I am huge lard ass. I need to snap out of this. I know marathon can do this. I knew it would that was one of the reasons I didn't want to do another full for awhile. I am hungry all the time. Why am I not enjoying how far I've come. Now I am not so much dieting but I am watching and recording everything. I am eating whenever I feel hungry but I am pissed off, everywhere I go I have healthy snacks like apples and protien crap but I am ready to stop the maddness! This is the hard part of training for me. I feel like I am undoing everything. BULLSHIT.
I will get there someday to 155. Probably not by race day. Me and all my extra butts are going to run 26.2. I REFUSE to gain anymore, but again I am not dieting. I sit here typing this in my 'skinny' pants, this scale has got me upset. I am going to blow a microchip. only because for years I let the mirror lie to me while the scale told the truth. If it's the other way around, muscle/fat argument than whatever I still feel like I have let myself go.
today is a Limp bizkit day. I recommend Break Stuff.
I have gotten down to 159 but it involved a colonscopy and laxatives. But I have been holding 165. I have managed to eat and stress up to 168. I am pissed. At me mainly. I am at the actual best shape of my life- ever. I am a size 8 dress, size 10 jeans, size small or medium workout clothes, I think I am huge lard ass. I need to snap out of this. I know marathon can do this. I knew it would that was one of the reasons I didn't want to do another full for awhile. I am hungry all the time. Why am I not enjoying how far I've come. Now I am not so much dieting but I am watching and recording everything. I am eating whenever I feel hungry but I am pissed off, everywhere I go I have healthy snacks like apples and protien crap but I am ready to stop the maddness! This is the hard part of training for me. I feel like I am undoing everything. BULLSHIT.
I will get there someday to 155. Probably not by race day. Me and all my extra butts are going to run 26.2. I REFUSE to gain anymore, but again I am not dieting. I sit here typing this in my 'skinny' pants, this scale has got me upset. I am going to blow a microchip. only because for years I let the mirror lie to me while the scale told the truth. If it's the other way around, muscle/fat argument than whatever I still feel like I have let myself go.
today is a Limp bizkit day. I recommend Break Stuff.
Monday, September 3, 2012
10 more closer to Erie
So yesterday I ran my last double digit training run. A mere 10 miler, it was quite the nasty humid run. I confess to loving it though. The rest of the day I kind of dragged my butt around. Kind of like my brain pulling my fatness around in a rickshaw.
I am in a crunchy mood this weekend. I have several theories as to why that it may be, none I'm sharing but if I was a cartoon there would be little sizzle marks above my head. Somethings bothering me. Probably the taper madness
Something happens when you start to taper down your mileage.
1. you feel fat. I feel enormus, flabby disgusting and hungry. It's complicated. I didn't think by now I would still be staring down my goal wieght I thought I would have it by now. I wanted to put freaking miracle on my chest again but because I thought there was a big difference, I wanted everyone there if they were there last year to recognize me and see I kept going. Silly I know but it kept me going. Now I am starting to doubt i look much different or even good at all. I feel yucky. Not a freaking much of change so lets just run and forget everything i guess? I have confided in Hubbs, he thinks this is silly and has tried to tell me otherwise....doubt is a side effect of feeling fat.
2. everything annoys you. It does I think my house is super disorganized and needs to be scrubbed everywhere. It does, I have been cleaning and organizing but it's becoming a thing that is affecting my comfort at home. It's imperfect everywhere it must be set right or else.
3. you get emotional. I am, probably because endorphin withdrawl, or the fact the dreaded first day of kindergarten is tomorrow. or because I am old or something. I am secretly bummed trainings almost over. And the other end I am sort of happy too.
4. you turn off all future plans post race. I have not considered anything after the race yet I am trying to figure out things and it all seems like it may never happen. I have set a clock all to September 16th and up till then I know what I have to do, after that I'm screwed. I think I have a 12 hour work day after the race. You do silly things in your head and say, yeah if I make it with both legs home....
5. you are tired. I am more tired than I have been all summer. Since the 22miler I don't just drink coffee I exist with it. If you find me anywhere look in my left hand, see it's a coffee cup. I had one at walmart grocery shopping this morning, just like a child has a sippy cup. It's not froufrou either it's straight up black coffee. At 4 pm it's cold from the pot from the morning. I know it's nasty and necessary.
6. You start shopping like gu and shoes will never be available anywhere. this is self explanatory.
7. you get stoopid. explain things slowly to me. don't mind my grammar or typing. I am tired. I am really emotionally and mentally preoccupied. I am not crying or eating right now, give me a free pass okay? Not to mention I am working a fairly new job that requires most of the brain. I do stupid crap like forget to bring money to daycare, or leave my lights on my car, turn in forms unsigned. I forget birthdays. I am just really sqeaking by on what is left of the seat of my pants.
8. with 13 days to go you start to get obsessed with what if's. what if it rains, what if it snows, what if i poop my pants... what if presque isle breaks off and floats away.
9. you become sensitive. don't criticize me, don't yell near me, i am tired, annoyed fat and stoopid I will probably cry.
10. It's hard to act natural. I just want to pretend sometimes I am not a running fool in order to take a little panicking break and then someone brings it up. I am excited but I am stressing. I haven't been bringing it up around people that don't know about it. And the interesting thing when you get caught with a little teasing about it. You really want to make fun of someone this dedicated? whatever.
11. you get by with a little help from your friends. I went to church by myself saturday night, and I had communion. I am glad I had a chance to get it before the race. It seems silly but this is some serious shit. I know that. I know god is with me all the time. But it makes a difference to me. I feel renewed and ready now. Please keep me in your prayers, I know I can go the distance but you really do so much better with you friends holding you up.
12. you strangle yourself to not do math. I promised myself I wouldn't calculate my pace and give myself an expected finish time. It creates panic. I am not pacing myself. I don't really even want my garmin with me. I will take my garmin but I will NOT do the math. I worked too hard to ignore it. I really want too see the difference in time this year but I am wanting to settle in and really enjoy the race, and make that time a sweeter finish line. The only spoiler alert I will give is that it will be better than 5:58:50 this year.
Race is 13 days from today and I am already ansty as hell. Please be kind to me I am just trying to clip clop on by until it's time to line up Sunday morning 9-16-12.
Alex Clare, Too Close
I am in a crunchy mood this weekend. I have several theories as to why that it may be, none I'm sharing but if I was a cartoon there would be little sizzle marks above my head. Somethings bothering me. Probably the taper madness
Something happens when you start to taper down your mileage.
1. you feel fat. I feel enormus, flabby disgusting and hungry. It's complicated. I didn't think by now I would still be staring down my goal wieght I thought I would have it by now. I wanted to put freaking miracle on my chest again but because I thought there was a big difference, I wanted everyone there if they were there last year to recognize me and see I kept going. Silly I know but it kept me going. Now I am starting to doubt i look much different or even good at all. I feel yucky. Not a freaking much of change so lets just run and forget everything i guess? I have confided in Hubbs, he thinks this is silly and has tried to tell me otherwise....doubt is a side effect of feeling fat.
2. everything annoys you. It does I think my house is super disorganized and needs to be scrubbed everywhere. It does, I have been cleaning and organizing but it's becoming a thing that is affecting my comfort at home. It's imperfect everywhere it must be set right or else.
3. you get emotional. I am, probably because endorphin withdrawl, or the fact the dreaded first day of kindergarten is tomorrow. or because I am old or something. I am secretly bummed trainings almost over. And the other end I am sort of happy too.
4. you turn off all future plans post race. I have not considered anything after the race yet I am trying to figure out things and it all seems like it may never happen. I have set a clock all to September 16th and up till then I know what I have to do, after that I'm screwed. I think I have a 12 hour work day after the race. You do silly things in your head and say, yeah if I make it with both legs home....
5. you are tired. I am more tired than I have been all summer. Since the 22miler I don't just drink coffee I exist with it. If you find me anywhere look in my left hand, see it's a coffee cup. I had one at walmart grocery shopping this morning, just like a child has a sippy cup. It's not froufrou either it's straight up black coffee. At 4 pm it's cold from the pot from the morning. I know it's nasty and necessary.
6. You start shopping like gu and shoes will never be available anywhere. this is self explanatory.
7. you get stoopid. explain things slowly to me. don't mind my grammar or typing. I am tired. I am really emotionally and mentally preoccupied. I am not crying or eating right now, give me a free pass okay? Not to mention I am working a fairly new job that requires most of the brain. I do stupid crap like forget to bring money to daycare, or leave my lights on my car, turn in forms unsigned. I forget birthdays. I am just really sqeaking by on what is left of the seat of my pants.
8. with 13 days to go you start to get obsessed with what if's. what if it rains, what if it snows, what if i poop my pants... what if presque isle breaks off and floats away.
9. you become sensitive. don't criticize me, don't yell near me, i am tired, annoyed fat and stoopid I will probably cry.
10. It's hard to act natural. I just want to pretend sometimes I am not a running fool in order to take a little panicking break and then someone brings it up. I am excited but I am stressing. I haven't been bringing it up around people that don't know about it. And the interesting thing when you get caught with a little teasing about it. You really want to make fun of someone this dedicated? whatever.
11. you get by with a little help from your friends. I went to church by myself saturday night, and I had communion. I am glad I had a chance to get it before the race. It seems silly but this is some serious shit. I know that. I know god is with me all the time. But it makes a difference to me. I feel renewed and ready now. Please keep me in your prayers, I know I can go the distance but you really do so much better with you friends holding you up.
12. you strangle yourself to not do math. I promised myself I wouldn't calculate my pace and give myself an expected finish time. It creates panic. I am not pacing myself. I don't really even want my garmin with me. I will take my garmin but I will NOT do the math. I worked too hard to ignore it. I really want too see the difference in time this year but I am wanting to settle in and really enjoy the race, and make that time a sweeter finish line. The only spoiler alert I will give is that it will be better than 5:58:50 this year.
Race is 13 days from today and I am already ansty as hell. Please be kind to me I am just trying to clip clop on by until it's time to line up Sunday morning 9-16-12.
Alex Clare, Too Close
Sunday, August 26, 2012
the 22 kind of tired.
Yesterday I reached the peak of my training goal. The 22 miler. Even I thought maybe that was pushing it but happy to say here I am on the other end in the first day of my taper. On my porch blogging as I entertain the misquitos with my blood. I am too tired to get up.
Yesterday I got up at 5 am ready to conquere this task. And it's the end of summer and I spent a good hour and a half waiting for sunrise, I should have maybe slept in a hour but I didn't.
I got to the track, first one as usual every saturday this summer. It's a little chilly but i can tell it's going to be a nice day. I called mom before I got out of the truck, I was worried about something. She assures me to get going. I get ready and tell myself to focus. It's not hard to get a runner going for something this worked for but I will admit the worrier in me is hard to carry along. I focused on my music. I hate to skip right to mile 10 but I literally struggled to settle down the whole time. At one point a certain song on my MP3 player actually made me cry. I just kept running, crying, snotting everywhere trying to find a reason to not run in the other direction in panic mode. I just kept telling myself this was part of training, to endure, to go on, and to CHILL THE HELL OUT.
At mile 11 my stomach got nervous too, and I had to take a dump. When your stomach does yoga you stop thinking so much. You start to concentrate on your continence. Disclaimer: we are going to toilet humor...stand down. I finally then decided not pooping my pants was more important than worrying and I finally dropped mindfreakmanda off near the pottys and vowed to pick her back up when I was done. Finally a portajohn I yell at myself this is a horrible long run I am not going to make it. I hop in and hop directly out. Ewwww. Yep not happening. I go running across a field cheeks clenched praying to making it to the latrines. This poses issues. Porta John is a single stall with a locking door. Latrine is not its a hallway with two about 12 feet deep holes in the ground with a toilet seat on them. Someone could definitely walk in on 12 miles of pent up frustration. It's not a pretty site. It's a sweat women in full marathon dork gear. In a hover squat with a fuel belt out of breath and taking a 12 feet drop poop. I can imagine it would sound like a discus thrower tossing rotten tomatoes into a cement wall. At the times I am forced to use bathrooms in this manor I am always grossed out and can't wait for a shower. It's also funny, I am aware. I am going to laugh about these character building experiences After I got myself back together I continued on. For about 2 miles or so I was thinking Oh garbage I will have to go all day, but I settled down and didn't have to make any more trips to the nasty holes.
There isn't much to say about the second half except I really enjoyed it. Honest. Something clicked and I smiled. I enjoyed the day. I would run playing crazy thoughts as I usually do. I would run around the massive horse turd and think yep horse turds still there. Then I would run over the bridge up the hill and back again step over a dead mouse baby and think oh it's a fetus with diabetus, poor fetus. I ran past/over it 4 times thought it everytime. I makeup funny little names for people at the track. I don't know them by name but I sure look at them enough to know them. Theres Champ he's there every Saturday, a personal favorite. Then there's dog in a stroller lady. Then there is the white Jamacian runner, she is always there she is uber fast. There is Ma and Pa poodle walkers. And my not so favorite Jean Nate' herself. I don't like running past her ever. There is a time a place for perfume, that's just not it. The park maintenance guys in red trucks, Haus, Huckleberry, Gumboliath, and Larry the maintenance guy. They see me and they look weird at me every time cause I see them more than once like at every shelter hours and hours, I know they think I must look just like me. They do a good job, they even got rid of the massive horse turds before I ran through the last time, I appreciate their service especially since they clean the latrines that I often um visit.
The last 18 I was still going pretty well, just getting tired and taking dumb walk breaks. I decided to pull on the company of others. I talked with a nice girl for a quarter mile and it was fantastic I really appreciated her company. I carried on when she left. Then at mile 20 I started stupid walking again. Some poor guy trotting along I pretty much begging him to pace me. He was really nice about it, his name was Ken I told him what I was going for and he stayed with me. I told him to go on after a while but he told me it was okay that it was nice to talk to someone he didn't have ear buds in I can imagine that would be true it can get old listening to nothing. I soon realized I was going faster than I thought I could go at the end of 21. I slowed and waived him on told him I needed a quick drink and walk. He slowed down ahead of me. Somehow I decided the last quarter mile I was going stark raving mad and decided I should pass him and then try to race him. I think he let me win. When I pushed stop on my garmin he asked to see the distance for proof. I got a DANG and he kept on. I really appreciate the help I am usually not social, dehydration will do that to you. I even let out a OH YEAH. for people to hear. I told him I won't believe this when I remember it but I am kind of tired.
I finished up ate some food and rested before I drove home. I didn't feel awful or like my legs were falling apart. Just happy and tired, and glad I got over myself.
So much has happened in the last few weeks. I have had to concentrate on new developments, tragedies of friends and work, I have a hard time feeling like myself. And there is the whole my babies are growing up kindergarten and preschool and this is the last week of mommy and her boys on my days off. Yesterday I felt like me, I miss her.
I am surprised at how well I am doing physically this year. I find I don't know the secret but it's all coming along. It's a good thing, I need it to be my good thing. I am aware my running is starting to be a reason to make fun of me. It's okay really I love that it's becoming the way people associate me and not the chubby girl. I would rather be the crazy runner girl please and thank you if you wonder if it bothers me no, but I have been sharing less and less because I am aware that I am a "freak". I continue to be the happ happ happiest freak I know, jokes on you. :)
Get Over It, by Ok Go (at it to your workout playlist)
Yesterday I got up at 5 am ready to conquere this task. And it's the end of summer and I spent a good hour and a half waiting for sunrise, I should have maybe slept in a hour but I didn't.
I got to the track, first one as usual every saturday this summer. It's a little chilly but i can tell it's going to be a nice day. I called mom before I got out of the truck, I was worried about something. She assures me to get going. I get ready and tell myself to focus. It's not hard to get a runner going for something this worked for but I will admit the worrier in me is hard to carry along. I focused on my music. I hate to skip right to mile 10 but I literally struggled to settle down the whole time. At one point a certain song on my MP3 player actually made me cry. I just kept running, crying, snotting everywhere trying to find a reason to not run in the other direction in panic mode. I just kept telling myself this was part of training, to endure, to go on, and to CHILL THE HELL OUT.
At mile 11 my stomach got nervous too, and I had to take a dump. When your stomach does yoga you stop thinking so much. You start to concentrate on your continence. Disclaimer: we are going to toilet humor...stand down. I finally then decided not pooping my pants was more important than worrying and I finally dropped mindfreakmanda off near the pottys and vowed to pick her back up when I was done. Finally a portajohn I yell at myself this is a horrible long run I am not going to make it. I hop in and hop directly out. Ewwww. Yep not happening. I go running across a field cheeks clenched praying to making it to the latrines. This poses issues. Porta John is a single stall with a locking door. Latrine is not its a hallway with two about 12 feet deep holes in the ground with a toilet seat on them. Someone could definitely walk in on 12 miles of pent up frustration. It's not a pretty site. It's a sweat women in full marathon dork gear. In a hover squat with a fuel belt out of breath and taking a 12 feet drop poop. I can imagine it would sound like a discus thrower tossing rotten tomatoes into a cement wall. At the times I am forced to use bathrooms in this manor I am always grossed out and can't wait for a shower. It's also funny, I am aware. I am going to laugh about these character building experiences After I got myself back together I continued on. For about 2 miles or so I was thinking Oh garbage I will have to go all day, but I settled down and didn't have to make any more trips to the nasty holes.
There isn't much to say about the second half except I really enjoyed it. Honest. Something clicked and I smiled. I enjoyed the day. I would run playing crazy thoughts as I usually do. I would run around the massive horse turd and think yep horse turds still there. Then I would run over the bridge up the hill and back again step over a dead mouse baby and think oh it's a fetus with diabetus, poor fetus. I ran past/over it 4 times thought it everytime. I makeup funny little names for people at the track. I don't know them by name but I sure look at them enough to know them. Theres Champ he's there every Saturday, a personal favorite. Then there's dog in a stroller lady. Then there is the white Jamacian runner, she is always there she is uber fast. There is Ma and Pa poodle walkers. And my not so favorite Jean Nate' herself. I don't like running past her ever. There is a time a place for perfume, that's just not it. The park maintenance guys in red trucks, Haus, Huckleberry, Gumboliath, and Larry the maintenance guy. They see me and they look weird at me every time cause I see them more than once like at every shelter hours and hours, I know they think I must look just like me. They do a good job, they even got rid of the massive horse turds before I ran through the last time, I appreciate their service especially since they clean the latrines that I often um visit.
The last 18 I was still going pretty well, just getting tired and taking dumb walk breaks. I decided to pull on the company of others. I talked with a nice girl for a quarter mile and it was fantastic I really appreciated her company. I carried on when she left. Then at mile 20 I started stupid walking again. Some poor guy trotting along I pretty much begging him to pace me. He was really nice about it, his name was Ken I told him what I was going for and he stayed with me. I told him to go on after a while but he told me it was okay that it was nice to talk to someone he didn't have ear buds in I can imagine that would be true it can get old listening to nothing. I soon realized I was going faster than I thought I could go at the end of 21. I slowed and waived him on told him I needed a quick drink and walk. He slowed down ahead of me. Somehow I decided the last quarter mile I was going stark raving mad and decided I should pass him and then try to race him. I think he let me win. When I pushed stop on my garmin he asked to see the distance for proof. I got a DANG and he kept on. I really appreciate the help I am usually not social, dehydration will do that to you. I even let out a OH YEAH. for people to hear. I told him I won't believe this when I remember it but I am kind of tired.
I finished up ate some food and rested before I drove home. I didn't feel awful or like my legs were falling apart. Just happy and tired, and glad I got over myself.
So much has happened in the last few weeks. I have had to concentrate on new developments, tragedies of friends and work, I have a hard time feeling like myself. And there is the whole my babies are growing up kindergarten and preschool and this is the last week of mommy and her boys on my days off. Yesterday I felt like me, I miss her.
I am surprised at how well I am doing physically this year. I find I don't know the secret but it's all coming along. It's a good thing, I need it to be my good thing. I am aware my running is starting to be a reason to make fun of me. It's okay really I love that it's becoming the way people associate me and not the chubby girl. I would rather be the crazy runner girl please and thank you if you wonder if it bothers me no, but I have been sharing less and less because I am aware that I am a "freak". I continue to be the happ happ happiest freak I know, jokes on you. :)
Get Over It, by Ok Go (at it to your workout playlist)
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Reassesment.
So today I had my life insurance physical for the second time. The first time Jude was roughly 6 weeks -2 months old and I weighed 250ish(mind you not my all time high). The findings of this first visit showed me I wasn't as healthy as I thought, and my blood pressure was elevated. I had to sign an addendum stating that if I lost weight I could pay less.
I have to say this first visit saved my life. I couldn't bear the though being the one to cause less time with my beautiful kids by dying a preventable death. The night I got the news I went for a walk.
Now for three years I have maintained this extra payment partially because I have been too busy to deal with it and the other part, I'm just not quite done yet. 155 still is not in my grasp. I still am trying for the 150's. But I gotta stop paying so much for something if I can help it, so the insurance person came today.
It was fun to watch her very careful take my blood pressure over and over. "Does your blood pressure usually run low?" I smile tell her I am training for a marathon and ask just how low. 78/42. I got this stupid smile on my face as I watched her face go from worried to just simple whatever your a nutcase. I continue with the grin. She took my blood and my pee and packed it up in her tacky suitcase and left.
I will hear soon if they are happy with me. 5'6" 166lbs today. I thought I was 5'5" but she used a tape measure. Its all very strange feelings for me.
I have to say this first visit saved my life. I couldn't bear the though being the one to cause less time with my beautiful kids by dying a preventable death. The night I got the news I went for a walk.
Now for three years I have maintained this extra payment partially because I have been too busy to deal with it and the other part, I'm just not quite done yet. 155 still is not in my grasp. I still am trying for the 150's. But I gotta stop paying so much for something if I can help it, so the insurance person came today.
It was fun to watch her very careful take my blood pressure over and over. "Does your blood pressure usually run low?" I smile tell her I am training for a marathon and ask just how low. 78/42. I got this stupid smile on my face as I watched her face go from worried to just simple whatever your a nutcase. I continue with the grin. She took my blood and my pee and packed it up in her tacky suitcase and left.
I will hear soon if they are happy with me. 5'6" 166lbs today. I thought I was 5'5" but she used a tape measure. Its all very strange feelings for me.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
20 miler?
So I've been quiet lately that's cause I am really tired and equally busy. Yesterday I went out for a 20 miler, I think, I mean I paused my garmin at 18.30 and ran 1 or 2 more miles and couldn't tell you when i finished. I collected my butts scooped them in the truck and made it home for an ice bath in which I cried. I had so been looking forward to this I love the iamsuchabadass feeling and I feed off it. And this numbers monkey can't deal with maybe, so I was going for 20 but I don't know what happened.
My legs feel great. Even today stairs- no problem I even did a sprint in the rain at the grocery store with no issue, impressive how good I think I feel. But I do have some extra riders this week that probably affected this run.
One extra issue some lung crap. Been dealing with homes of cat lovers and avid smokers all week at work in the mist of probably some kinda cold and ragweed growth outside I have been sniffling and my eyes look red all the time. I have been taking benedryl at night to off put some allergy hell and help my regular antihistamine.
The Other, I apologize fellas, but I got my monthly visitor that morning. Any chica knows the first day of hell week is not the day for a 20 miler. I do not reschedule for such silliness I drag my butts to the park. But I have been feeling extra drained, this is why. There is no magic anything even the excitement of a training peak to pull you away from mother nature, she can be quite the cranky beeoch. And it also makes for some pretty interesting chafe.
There is always some crappy ass excuse for 'not feeling it' with a run I try to overcome. But sadly I don't think I did. At mile 18 I was thinking of grabbing one of the many runners passing me and begging them to pace me for company for the last 2 I was really feeling that bad. I probably pulled at 19+ miler but I can't say I got clear to 20 it was foggy at this point.
The good news I am ahead of schedule. Next weekend is a 50 cutback and will be a 10miler and then 2 weeks from now, A weekend I work mind you, I am doing a 22 before I start my taper. Trying to avoid jello legs at 25 if I can help it. But I feel like I have failed so far hopefull that gives me a little more steam in my engine. I am trying not to be bummed, and to be thankful I am feeling so good legs wise, I don't even know where my foam roller is right now and that IS amazing. God is good to these legs trying to not loose sight of that.
Bigcitydreams, NeverShoutNever
My legs feel great. Even today stairs- no problem I even did a sprint in the rain at the grocery store with no issue, impressive how good I think I feel. But I do have some extra riders this week that probably affected this run.
One extra issue some lung crap. Been dealing with homes of cat lovers and avid smokers all week at work in the mist of probably some kinda cold and ragweed growth outside I have been sniffling and my eyes look red all the time. I have been taking benedryl at night to off put some allergy hell and help my regular antihistamine.
The Other, I apologize fellas, but I got my monthly visitor that morning. Any chica knows the first day of hell week is not the day for a 20 miler. I do not reschedule for such silliness I drag my butts to the park. But I have been feeling extra drained, this is why. There is no magic anything even the excitement of a training peak to pull you away from mother nature, she can be quite the cranky beeoch. And it also makes for some pretty interesting chafe.
There is always some crappy ass excuse for 'not feeling it' with a run I try to overcome. But sadly I don't think I did. At mile 18 I was thinking of grabbing one of the many runners passing me and begging them to pace me for company for the last 2 I was really feeling that bad. I probably pulled at 19+ miler but I can't say I got clear to 20 it was foggy at this point.
The good news I am ahead of schedule. Next weekend is a 50 cutback and will be a 10miler and then 2 weeks from now, A weekend I work mind you, I am doing a 22 before I start my taper. Trying to avoid jello legs at 25 if I can help it. But I feel like I have failed so far hopefull that gives me a little more steam in my engine. I am trying not to be bummed, and to be thankful I am feeling so good legs wise, I don't even know where my foam roller is right now and that IS amazing. God is good to these legs trying to not loose sight of that.
Bigcitydreams, NeverShoutNever
Thursday, July 26, 2012
see this computer...i'm using it!
I found myself just now standing in my kitchen for the first time in about 2 weeks were I was feeling a little relaxed and interested in finding something to do. The boys asked, mom can we go outside and play? Why yes sons you may, and you see this computer here, I'm going to blog on it, on the porch! Kinda like the swiffer commercial.
It's been a busy couple of weeks. The mileage was no sneeze in the running a 16 then a bum rush of pinkeye(kid 1) a nurse's bladder and then vacation bible-school and a busy and very confusing week at work then 18.7 and more pinkeye(kid 2) and then finally just see the waters start to get a little smoother. I did not take a 50% cutback like I normal do in between those distances to promote a little more rest because I have to work this weekend and there is no time for an 18miler. .I will find time for a 9er though someway. I expect to be stupid busy as usual,I also am hoping to make it to a cousins bachelorette party even just the pre-party to support the fun. My new job is a ton of work, I knew that taking it, still haven't figured out a perfect schedule for a work day yet. As soon as I can get geared to that home dynamic I think I will be able to handle more stuff. The running really should be the source of making everything more pressed for time but really I still feel it calms me down so I have more focus and patience, so the training stays.
The weekend work thing is NOT a complaint! I am excited to say this is my first weekend since mid March, our family sure has been enjoying the together time as we grow as a group. I think I have changed for the better challenging my safe lifestyle. Now it's so much more complicated but everyone is happier, I didn't think any of this would happen. I couldn't see past my fears, I am so glad I took a chance. I love my family they are worth any uncertainty for myself as long as it guarantees them security.
How's my diet doing? well....I remain at 164-165. I am trying to maintain or loose the last 10, but I do have a 20 miler and a 22 miler before my taper, I am realistic I could gain a few I am going to try my hardest to not let that happen. Still keeping a food diary I rarely finish it completely on work days because I have to do so much paper work I confess to eating a ton in the most recent weeks, I am STARVING. I don't know why I but sure have the appetite of a lumberjack. So my main objective on days I don't have time to track my food all the way until bedtime is to beat back the lumberjack.
I need some help guys....I am trying to decide on making another marathon shirt if I should just be cool and not do it. Suggestions? And my playlist getting repetitious now that the runs are getting longer I will take some song add suggestions please!!!
my song suggestion for you this week:
Lights, Ellie Goulding
It's been a busy couple of weeks. The mileage was no sneeze in the running a 16 then a bum rush of pinkeye(kid 1) a nurse's bladder and then vacation bible-school and a busy and very confusing week at work then 18.7 and more pinkeye(kid 2) and then finally just see the waters start to get a little smoother. I did not take a 50% cutback like I normal do in between those distances to promote a little more rest because I have to work this weekend and there is no time for an 18miler. .I will find time for a 9er though someway. I expect to be stupid busy as usual,I also am hoping to make it to a cousins bachelorette party even just the pre-party to support the fun. My new job is a ton of work, I knew that taking it, still haven't figured out a perfect schedule for a work day yet. As soon as I can get geared to that home dynamic I think I will be able to handle more stuff. The running really should be the source of making everything more pressed for time but really I still feel it calms me down so I have more focus and patience, so the training stays.
The weekend work thing is NOT a complaint! I am excited to say this is my first weekend since mid March, our family sure has been enjoying the together time as we grow as a group. I think I have changed for the better challenging my safe lifestyle. Now it's so much more complicated but everyone is happier, I didn't think any of this would happen. I couldn't see past my fears, I am so glad I took a chance. I love my family they are worth any uncertainty for myself as long as it guarantees them security.
How's my diet doing? well....I remain at 164-165. I am trying to maintain or loose the last 10, but I do have a 20 miler and a 22 miler before my taper, I am realistic I could gain a few I am going to try my hardest to not let that happen. Still keeping a food diary I rarely finish it completely on work days because I have to do so much paper work I confess to eating a ton in the most recent weeks, I am STARVING. I don't know why I but sure have the appetite of a lumberjack. So my main objective on days I don't have time to track my food all the way until bedtime is to beat back the lumberjack.
I need some help guys....I am trying to decide on making another marathon shirt if I should just be cool and not do it. Suggestions? And my playlist getting repetitious now that the runs are getting longer I will take some song add suggestions please!!!
my song suggestion for you this week:
Lights, Ellie Goulding
Saturday, July 14, 2012
my fortress of solitude
Today was my 16 miler and it flew by. I am tired and overwhelmed lately but I couldn't wait for Saturday morning this week.
I learned something today although clothing is fitted, and engineered for exercise, and the correct size, does not mean it will look and feel okay during a 16 miler. I wore a fitted tank top that insisted on being removed the second step I took. That was a rookie mistake not testing it first, so i ran the first 3.5 miles with a really irritating shirt on. Every few feet I had to pull it down to prevent it from scooting up over my dang head, and this is with a fuel belt on! I got back to my truck and I had one shirt inside that I changed into, sadly an all white long sleeve running tee, but I would rather wear something proven to stay in place even if it is a wet tee-shirt contest. (rainy and sweaty) The 16miler was needed and if that is what I had to do to salvage it I was doing it. So picture if you will me completely soaking a long sleeve tee on a 3 hour and 12 minute run yes thank god for bras, sorry to offend!!! Lesson: some exercise clothes are made for looking good doing nothing. LEARNED
After I got comfortable in my skin the minutes ticked by fast. I look down at my watch and not one time before 15.5 miles did I wonder how long I had left. Today I wore the trail rated shoes on the gravel and uneven roads and through the grass and I think they did pretty well, now I am starting to debate on whether or not run my next marathon in them. I will just have to keep on debating though, that's part of training trying things and finding out they are good ideas or bad I guess.
Around 12 miles I found myself getting hungry and a little delirious I'll admit because I suddenly thought everything I thought was hilarious. I passed a chips ahoy wrapper/container on the side of the road and I looked more than one second and thought- wow too bad there isn't one left I haven't had one of those in like forever. Then I started kinda giggling. When I past the empty Busch beer can and I thought that looked good too I actually did laugh out loud. A couple passing runners went buy and I gave a "wassssaaaaaaaaauuuup" yeah time to get off the road and stay to the track for the last few miles, by then I forgot I was trying to hide because I was wearing an almost clear shirt with a nerdalert fuelbelt. By the time I made it back to the track I only had 2 miles left of 16.
I didn't really even hit the wall until about 14.5 I ended up running right up behind a sweet old lady pushing her Yorkie in a stroller who just happened to be smoking a cigarette. The smoke slapped me into reality ewww why would you do that here? Yess, yes smokers actually do exercise too but that's not cool for us ex smokers that have pretty decent asthma. So next time just wait feel the burn then light up please!
I made it all the way to 16.1 with a goofy grin. I love running and I love training, wet tee shirt contest and all. I would just like to point out I was a little scared that 16 miles would be a painful run. Last year my 16 miler was the point that my IT band flared and I had to take an injury break and see a doctor. I realize that it could and probably will come back but I need to just enjoy the ride. I am trying to prevent what I can by strength training and hill work, if it happens it happens. I guess it's a good thing I don't have time to make this anything but fun.
running song of the day
Best Song Ever, The Ready Set
I learned something today although clothing is fitted, and engineered for exercise, and the correct size, does not mean it will look and feel okay during a 16 miler. I wore a fitted tank top that insisted on being removed the second step I took. That was a rookie mistake not testing it first, so i ran the first 3.5 miles with a really irritating shirt on. Every few feet I had to pull it down to prevent it from scooting up over my dang head, and this is with a fuel belt on! I got back to my truck and I had one shirt inside that I changed into, sadly an all white long sleeve running tee, but I would rather wear something proven to stay in place even if it is a wet tee-shirt contest. (rainy and sweaty) The 16miler was needed and if that is what I had to do to salvage it I was doing it. So picture if you will me completely soaking a long sleeve tee on a 3 hour and 12 minute run yes thank god for bras, sorry to offend!!! Lesson: some exercise clothes are made for looking good doing nothing. LEARNED
After I got comfortable in my skin the minutes ticked by fast. I look down at my watch and not one time before 15.5 miles did I wonder how long I had left. Today I wore the trail rated shoes on the gravel and uneven roads and through the grass and I think they did pretty well, now I am starting to debate on whether or not run my next marathon in them. I will just have to keep on debating though, that's part of training trying things and finding out they are good ideas or bad I guess.
Around 12 miles I found myself getting hungry and a little delirious I'll admit because I suddenly thought everything I thought was hilarious. I passed a chips ahoy wrapper/container on the side of the road and I looked more than one second and thought- wow too bad there isn't one left I haven't had one of those in like forever. Then I started kinda giggling. When I past the empty Busch beer can and I thought that looked good too I actually did laugh out loud. A couple passing runners went buy and I gave a "wassssaaaaaaaaauuuup" yeah time to get off the road and stay to the track for the last few miles, by then I forgot I was trying to hide because I was wearing an almost clear shirt with a nerdalert fuelbelt. By the time I made it back to the track I only had 2 miles left of 16.
I didn't really even hit the wall until about 14.5 I ended up running right up behind a sweet old lady pushing her Yorkie in a stroller who just happened to be smoking a cigarette. The smoke slapped me into reality ewww why would you do that here? Yess, yes smokers actually do exercise too but that's not cool for us ex smokers that have pretty decent asthma. So next time just wait feel the burn then light up please!
I made it all the way to 16.1 with a goofy grin. I love running and I love training, wet tee shirt contest and all. I would just like to point out I was a little scared that 16 miles would be a painful run. Last year my 16 miler was the point that my IT band flared and I had to take an injury break and see a doctor. I realize that it could and probably will come back but I need to just enjoy the ride. I am trying to prevent what I can by strength training and hill work, if it happens it happens. I guess it's a good thing I don't have time to make this anything but fun.
running song of the day
Best Song Ever, The Ready Set
Thursday, July 5, 2012
bustin a rhyme
My mp3 player is now MIA. Completely AWOL, can't find it, got another on order so this morning in the humidity with belly full of gluttonous picnic pig out I went in silence for 6. I started making up Marine Corp style chants (so as you read echo back) to myself here are a few...
I don't know, but I've been told,
this humidity is getting old.
Ate to much on 4 July,
now my tummy wants to die
I feel a rumble in my gut,
I hope I can still hold my butt.
The say it's too hot to run,
Bein a wuss limits your fun.
All day long I need a shower
I still need to run for another half an hour.
Bein a runner is an art
You need to learn to not trust farts
sound off
gotta poo gotta poo, gotta shit!
Now I'm walking for a bit
my butt is clenched I need to shit.
I ate too much on 4 July
If I poop my pants I'm going to die
sound off
people nearby 1, 2 nearby!
Maybe next year I keep control
so I don't have to do suicide patrol.
I have to poop so bad I have to puke,
nothing rhymes with that but papa duke
sound off
hot out here, 1, 2, gotta shit!!!!
I could go on forever but you get the hint!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know, but I've been told,
this humidity is getting old.
Ate to much on 4 July,
now my tummy wants to die
I feel a rumble in my gut,
I hope I can still hold my butt.
The say it's too hot to run,
Bein a wuss limits your fun.
All day long I need a shower
I still need to run for another half an hour.
Bein a runner is an art
You need to learn to not trust farts
sound off
gotta poo gotta poo, gotta shit!
Now I'm walking for a bit
my butt is clenched I need to shit.
I ate too much on 4 July
If I poop my pants I'm going to die
sound off
people nearby 1, 2 nearby!
Maybe next year I keep control
so I don't have to do suicide patrol.
I have to poop so bad I have to puke,
nothing rhymes with that but papa duke
sound off
hot out here, 1, 2, gotta shit!!!!
I could go on forever but you get the hint!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
void of brain
Lately I have been trying to keep up with life. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and spin my wheels and evntually I start botching stuff up. This has started a serious of events...these are only a few that I can gather in one sitting.
It started with a footstep really. A footstep on a creaky floorboard in one of my patient's houses. That hurried unplanned step some how made a 2liter bottle of root beer to fall off a table and crack open and spray everywhere. By everywhere I mean 10 foot mushroom cloud including ceiling, yep oh sheeet.
Sometimes I feel like I am on Candid Camera, it really is funny but I am still embarrassed. Just getting to the houses at work from my car I have been tripping and dropping things. It's not my favorite to be unfamiliar with stuff. I like to be in control it's hard for me to learn new things and meet new friends. At work someone said that magic erasers where coming out with a mop I actually said really loudly "SHUT THE FA" i wanted to say shut the front door but I almost said a office no no word when I really didn't want to. I really wanted to just shrivel up and die. This is the same group of ladies around that where there when I accidentally shut the light off on my boss while she was using the ladies room. I love a good laugh but I like to be the one telling the joke not being the joke.
Then a particular doosy last week during my 14 miler, my mp3 player stopped working, or so I thought halfway through the run. What I did was stuff if in my fuel belt and keep going. I finished my run, in 7 miles of silence. I kept thinking to myself how nice it would be to slap myself in the face for sweating on it too much and breaking it. I was so angry and irritated, long runs up and down the same old road get old fast without tunes. When I got done, turned in my player to my husband and he happily reports to me that it still works and I won't need a new one. Really????! yes really I could of had tune-age.
Most recently yesterday taking my kids to daycare I completely drove past the exit and had to continue and turn around and backtrack. Then after a really strange day full of blunders and bloopers I fell asleep until I heard thunder. I woke up to the rain and realized the sunroof was open on my adorable little bug car and was full of water. NOOOOOOOO. I cried for a good while before I could go back to sleep.
I feel lost. I feel busy. I am just trying to get my bearings, I don't know why I feel so panicked. Someone asked if I should let the marathon training go for now. My answer is no. It's probably only thing right now that I cling to as normal and the one place I can go to if I want to visit my happy self. So there. I may not always be blogging, but as long as I can I will be running, and I thank god for that.
It started with a footstep really. A footstep on a creaky floorboard in one of my patient's houses. That hurried unplanned step some how made a 2liter bottle of root beer to fall off a table and crack open and spray everywhere. By everywhere I mean 10 foot mushroom cloud including ceiling, yep oh sheeet.
Sometimes I feel like I am on Candid Camera, it really is funny but I am still embarrassed. Just getting to the houses at work from my car I have been tripping and dropping things. It's not my favorite to be unfamiliar with stuff. I like to be in control it's hard for me to learn new things and meet new friends. At work someone said that magic erasers where coming out with a mop I actually said really loudly "SHUT THE FA" i wanted to say shut the front door but I almost said a office no no word when I really didn't want to. I really wanted to just shrivel up and die. This is the same group of ladies around that where there when I accidentally shut the light off on my boss while she was using the ladies room. I love a good laugh but I like to be the one telling the joke not being the joke.
Then a particular doosy last week during my 14 miler, my mp3 player stopped working, or so I thought halfway through the run. What I did was stuff if in my fuel belt and keep going. I finished my run, in 7 miles of silence. I kept thinking to myself how nice it would be to slap myself in the face for sweating on it too much and breaking it. I was so angry and irritated, long runs up and down the same old road get old fast without tunes. When I got done, turned in my player to my husband and he happily reports to me that it still works and I won't need a new one. Really????! yes really I could of had tune-age.
Most recently yesterday taking my kids to daycare I completely drove past the exit and had to continue and turn around and backtrack. Then after a really strange day full of blunders and bloopers I fell asleep until I heard thunder. I woke up to the rain and realized the sunroof was open on my adorable little bug car and was full of water. NOOOOOOOO. I cried for a good while before I could go back to sleep.
I feel lost. I feel busy. I am just trying to get my bearings, I don't know why I feel so panicked. Someone asked if I should let the marathon training go for now. My answer is no. It's probably only thing right now that I cling to as normal and the one place I can go to if I want to visit my happy self. So there. I may not always be blogging, but as long as I can I will be running, and I thank god for that.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
no shortcuts in longruns
So I have been FREAKING out lately. Somethings I need to just get over, others I am struggling with. I find myself not sleeping well, and the short runs definitely help but I was so psyched for my 12miler yesterday. For the sole purpose of just 2 and half short hours alone with me and maybe I could get some mental organizing/cleaning done or just go on auto pilot. The run did not disappoint, never does. I ran through the park twice and once around the track. I had a great time overall, I learned something yesterday from a series of events.
I kept thinking to myself I am a genius when I run. I have the best ideas they often are silly later. I was thinking wouldn't it be great to have a commercial with Eminem running with an ordinary person supporting them and even waiting at the portajohn then they could make it for mp3 players. Sometimes I feel like Eminem runs with me... sort of.. okay it was silly. It may already be a commercial I watch very little tv. I spent too much time thinking of this 'genious' idea, distracted and over eager to be out I made mistake omega I did not hydrate early on. And this epic fail started at home before I had not purchase any other sport drink yet this year, I only had last years and it was 240 calories per scoop. So what did I do only take one scoop I needed more salt than that, but busy missyfailpants has not had a brain in her head this week and did the monotone 'I MUST RUN' thinking I would order it later and it wasn't too hot and I am fine what ever.
As the run progressed my stomach hurt about halfway, buy mile 9 I was forced to drop trow in a latrine. I don't like them, they are like 20 feet drops with toilet seats, and I am scared something will come up the hole and bite my bum. But after so long you know you won't make 3 more miles and you must evacuate or wear it. This is wear squats pay off from your workouts- they are your hover muscles. Thank god after 9 miles for squats. I bring this up because I am adding to the epic fail. 1 scoop sport drink extremely diluted, and now I am experiencing the wonderment of run-oh-rrhea. uh-oh.
I stayed pretty calm, I am in the middle of the park. I am about a mile and a half from my truck I only have about 3 left, and now I don't have to poop, I will make it, I had at least been eating gu through my run so I though I would be fine.
I made it back to the walking track caught up with a fellow runner talked about mile 4 of the great race for a brief minute I told him I had a half mile left and I was tired. As I said "my legs are killing me" both of my calfs took a dump. Cramped up double charelyhorse type cramping. I am quarter mile from the truck. I wince and walk to the truck. I get stretched, its not helping. I drive home pretty much openly groaning and swearing its bad. By the time I pull in I can hardly walk. I realized I need salt on the drive home. Doofus you sweat actual salt. I can't get that far with 1 scoop of sport drink and water and only drinking every 3 miles, but I tried..FAIL. So I hobble in the door, bust in the fridge and drink directly out of the pickles. I didn't like the taste I did a chug a lug. Then drank a vita coco and got in the ice bath, before I got out of the bath I felt the pain lift.
And that ladies and gentleman is what happens when you don't add enough salt and hydration to your summer long runs. Calories be damned you will be humbled.
This marathon runner could not finish 12. I made it 11.8 and could barely make it to the pickles. Hydrate. Eat. Poop. It's all normal in a run if you try to save time to eliminate one you will pay, that's what I get for trying a short cut!
Song: Ben Folds Five, Where's The Summer B?
I kept thinking to myself I am a genius when I run. I have the best ideas they often are silly later. I was thinking wouldn't it be great to have a commercial with Eminem running with an ordinary person supporting them and even waiting at the portajohn then they could make it for mp3 players. Sometimes I feel like Eminem runs with me... sort of.. okay it was silly. It may already be a commercial I watch very little tv. I spent too much time thinking of this 'genious' idea, distracted and over eager to be out I made mistake omega I did not hydrate early on. And this epic fail started at home before I had not purchase any other sport drink yet this year, I only had last years and it was 240 calories per scoop. So what did I do only take one scoop I needed more salt than that, but busy missyfailpants has not had a brain in her head this week and did the monotone 'I MUST RUN' thinking I would order it later and it wasn't too hot and I am fine what ever.
As the run progressed my stomach hurt about halfway, buy mile 9 I was forced to drop trow in a latrine. I don't like them, they are like 20 feet drops with toilet seats, and I am scared something will come up the hole and bite my bum. But after so long you know you won't make 3 more miles and you must evacuate or wear it. This is wear squats pay off from your workouts- they are your hover muscles. Thank god after 9 miles for squats. I bring this up because I am adding to the epic fail. 1 scoop sport drink extremely diluted, and now I am experiencing the wonderment of run-oh-rrhea. uh-oh.
I stayed pretty calm, I am in the middle of the park. I am about a mile and a half from my truck I only have about 3 left, and now I don't have to poop, I will make it, I had at least been eating gu through my run so I though I would be fine.
I made it back to the walking track caught up with a fellow runner talked about mile 4 of the great race for a brief minute I told him I had a half mile left and I was tired. As I said "my legs are killing me" both of my calfs took a dump. Cramped up double charelyhorse type cramping. I am quarter mile from the truck. I wince and walk to the truck. I get stretched, its not helping. I drive home pretty much openly groaning and swearing its bad. By the time I pull in I can hardly walk. I realized I need salt on the drive home. Doofus you sweat actual salt. I can't get that far with 1 scoop of sport drink and water and only drinking every 3 miles, but I tried..FAIL. So I hobble in the door, bust in the fridge and drink directly out of the pickles. I didn't like the taste I did a chug a lug. Then drank a vita coco and got in the ice bath, before I got out of the bath I felt the pain lift.
And that ladies and gentleman is what happens when you don't add enough salt and hydration to your summer long runs. Calories be damned you will be humbled.
This marathon runner could not finish 12. I made it 11.8 and could barely make it to the pickles. Hydrate. Eat. Poop. It's all normal in a run if you try to save time to eliminate one you will pay, that's what I get for trying a short cut!
Song: Ben Folds Five, Where's The Summer B?
Thursday, June 21, 2012
my routine is kerfluked
I am still adjusting to everything with my new job, new child care situation, I even got a new car.
I miss you blog.
I have a 12 miler planned this weekend
planning on sitting on my duff afterward,
hoping to write a nice long update.
I miss you blog.
I have a 12 miler planned this weekend
planning on sitting on my duff afterward,
hoping to write a nice long update.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Things that I have learned
I am by no means an authority on running, or fitness. I am still overweight but I have learned a few things a long the way and I am sharing them. Especially if you are getting started from large and plan on becoming an ex-fatty (I consider myself) these are my notes.
1. nobody cares. Honestly nobody is looking at you. Unless you exposing yourself indecently your clothes matter the most to you and only you. No reason to be embarrassed by exercising, especially at the gym. Tons of fat people go there, so do skinny people, they don't give a crap half of them are looking in the mirror at themselves anyway.
2. tie that sh*t down. Comfort clothes are for laying around and for people of walmart. If you are going to run or workout do yourself a favor and wear something that fits. I have tried baggy stuff, it rides up, it catches on lumps and exaggerates them, and it falls down. In light of number one, nobody cares so buy something that will not move especially over high friction areas. Also if you have excess skin or a floppy belly, or boobs wear the right underwear. A high impact bra a size or two smaller than a comfortable one, and possibly a girdle. Yeah I still wear support, I got a lot of movement and I could put my back out really easily. You'll feel better under your clothes if your giblets aren't getting whiplash, maybe you won't care who's looking so much either.
3. never has to leave . If you can't be positive, you aren't going be be patient either. Learning to run takes patience. Dieting takes a long ass time too. If you say I could never run, you never will period. Congratulations you have painted yourself into a corner- don't do that. No one has the right to talk to you that way, why do you do it to yourself?
4. any effort is recognized. I was so ready to fight when I started running and working out. Thinking the fitter gym patrons thought I was lazy or not good enough, or the runners at my races thought I couldn't finish. They only feedback I ever got was a nod. There is a mutual respect, once you stick around and get to know people they are all just people and in most cases they are nicer than most people you meet. They had to start somewhere and they would never give you attitude for it. There is always going to be someone who thinks they are better than you anywhere, but the consensus is we are all friends.
5. surprising yourself is great. you will find you can do more than you ever dreamed. there is no better feeling than going a new distance, getting a new faster time, or trying something different and finding you like it. Why was I so afraid for so long?
6. you get old really fast and sometimes you don't have time for that. In my line of work I see a lot of people die. I see a lot of people suffer too. You don't know if you will have the use of your legs tomorrow period. Use them, there is a reason why your doctor tells you to exercise, it is the fountain of youth, and it keeps you out of trouble too!
7. if it's easy its probably evil. No more drive thru for anyone anymore. It's all garbage. If I falter one time and get something purely because its quick then I find myself having a hard time not eating everything in sight for a week. It's bad. There is unnatural crap in it. Make your own food. The least amount of processing it has the better. It also goes for training, slow and steady and scheduled wins the race. Don't just think you can run a 5k if you have never done it before, buy a book follow a schedule and buy shoes or expect pain and humbling.
8. it really is all about the shoes. if you want to run for more than one run, go to a running store with a real runner and get your shoes checked. You may have a stride that can be corrected with shoes if you wear what ever pair was on sale you can probably expect shin splints, blisters, or even fractures are possible.
9. goop it. If you blister than grease your feet in your socks and sometimes on the outer sock as well. It's silly but it works. I do it all the time. Eucerin is my favorite.
10 track it. if you really need to loose a few pounds or you are training for something you should be tracking your calories. You have NO idea what you are eating even if you think it's healthy. you are going to be pissed when you find out 190 calories is 2 tsp of peanut butter. it has done so much for me and my training. If you run you need to replace at least half the calories burned to really keep loosing weight.
If any of my friends young, old, big, small, fit or unfit want to go for a run, just ask.
1. nobody cares. Honestly nobody is looking at you. Unless you exposing yourself indecently your clothes matter the most to you and only you. No reason to be embarrassed by exercising, especially at the gym. Tons of fat people go there, so do skinny people, they don't give a crap half of them are looking in the mirror at themselves anyway.
2. tie that sh*t down. Comfort clothes are for laying around and for people of walmart. If you are going to run or workout do yourself a favor and wear something that fits. I have tried baggy stuff, it rides up, it catches on lumps and exaggerates them, and it falls down. In light of number one, nobody cares so buy something that will not move especially over high friction areas. Also if you have excess skin or a floppy belly, or boobs wear the right underwear. A high impact bra a size or two smaller than a comfortable one, and possibly a girdle. Yeah I still wear support, I got a lot of movement and I could put my back out really easily. You'll feel better under your clothes if your giblets aren't getting whiplash, maybe you won't care who's looking so much either.
3. never has to leave . If you can't be positive, you aren't going be be patient either. Learning to run takes patience. Dieting takes a long ass time too. If you say I could never run, you never will period. Congratulations you have painted yourself into a corner- don't do that. No one has the right to talk to you that way, why do you do it to yourself?
4. any effort is recognized. I was so ready to fight when I started running and working out. Thinking the fitter gym patrons thought I was lazy or not good enough, or the runners at my races thought I couldn't finish. They only feedback I ever got was a nod. There is a mutual respect, once you stick around and get to know people they are all just people and in most cases they are nicer than most people you meet. They had to start somewhere and they would never give you attitude for it. There is always going to be someone who thinks they are better than you anywhere, but the consensus is we are all friends.
5. surprising yourself is great. you will find you can do more than you ever dreamed. there is no better feeling than going a new distance, getting a new faster time, or trying something different and finding you like it. Why was I so afraid for so long?
6. you get old really fast and sometimes you don't have time for that. In my line of work I see a lot of people die. I see a lot of people suffer too. You don't know if you will have the use of your legs tomorrow period. Use them, there is a reason why your doctor tells you to exercise, it is the fountain of youth, and it keeps you out of trouble too!
7. if it's easy its probably evil. No more drive thru for anyone anymore. It's all garbage. If I falter one time and get something purely because its quick then I find myself having a hard time not eating everything in sight for a week. It's bad. There is unnatural crap in it. Make your own food. The least amount of processing it has the better. It also goes for training, slow and steady and scheduled wins the race. Don't just think you can run a 5k if you have never done it before, buy a book follow a schedule and buy shoes or expect pain and humbling.
8. it really is all about the shoes. if you want to run for more than one run, go to a running store with a real runner and get your shoes checked. You may have a stride that can be corrected with shoes if you wear what ever pair was on sale you can probably expect shin splints, blisters, or even fractures are possible.
9. goop it. If you blister than grease your feet in your socks and sometimes on the outer sock as well. It's silly but it works. I do it all the time. Eucerin is my favorite.
10 track it. if you really need to loose a few pounds or you are training for something you should be tracking your calories. You have NO idea what you are eating even if you think it's healthy. you are going to be pissed when you find out 190 calories is 2 tsp of peanut butter. it has done so much for me and my training. If you run you need to replace at least half the calories burned to really keep loosing weight.
If any of my friends young, old, big, small, fit or unfit want to go for a run, just ask.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Where'd he go?
I have no mental gumption to think of a better title, my apologies.
So It's been a huge week or more since I blogged last. I have been super busy with work, kids, running, and stuff that I haven't had time to blog about it!
Darlington Derby happened June 2. My 3rd race-aversary! And momma PR-ed. I finally Broke 30 minutes with a time of 28:53! I truly love that race. My buddy, The Kenyan still in the lead with first place in our group, me I took second. Still smiling about it.
The day of the race was my second day of full liquid diet prep for my colonoscopy. I ran that race with coffee and ensure in the belly and that's all. I actually think it may have helped!
Pretty much after the race and the hunger miserableness set in my weekend went in the shitter, literally. No fun at all! Sunday was clear liquids and laxatives and I felt horrible. I laid around and whined when I wasn't in the oval office.
Monday I had my procedure. It wasn't so bad at all. If you need this done, the preps the worst part. But I do have to say : Drugs are bad. I don't remember much of the day. I don't remember waking up and speaking with the doctor. My hubbs really doesn't remember that stuff and details so I have only vague ideas of the findings. I called my mom on the way home and I forgot. She was away and I thought she wasn't aware of the day so I called and left a voice mail later. Come to find out today we actually spoke.
Wednesday I worked through my birthday. It was a long day but a nice day.When I picked up the boys at the sitters they jumped out behind their couch with suprise and sang happy birthday, they made cupcakes for me. I got home around 6ish and came home to a card in my door and inside all my dishes done and flowers in my vase. Hubbs had to go but he cleaned first. I really felt loved.
Lots going on not nearly enough time to log it and blog it!
So It's been a huge week or more since I blogged last. I have been super busy with work, kids, running, and stuff that I haven't had time to blog about it!
Darlington Derby happened June 2. My 3rd race-aversary! And momma PR-ed. I finally Broke 30 minutes with a time of 28:53! I truly love that race. My buddy, The Kenyan still in the lead with first place in our group, me I took second. Still smiling about it.
Pretty much after the race and the hunger miserableness set in my weekend went in the shitter, literally. No fun at all! Sunday was clear liquids and laxatives and I felt horrible. I laid around and whined when I wasn't in the oval office.
Monday I had my procedure. It wasn't so bad at all. If you need this done, the preps the worst part. But I do have to say : Drugs are bad. I don't remember much of the day. I don't remember waking up and speaking with the doctor. My hubbs really doesn't remember that stuff and details so I have only vague ideas of the findings. I called my mom on the way home and I forgot. She was away and I thought she wasn't aware of the day so I called and left a voice mail later. Come to find out today we actually spoke.
Wednesday I worked through my birthday. It was a long day but a nice day.When I picked up the boys at the sitters they jumped out behind their couch with suprise and sang happy birthday, they made cupcakes for me. I got home around 6ish and came home to a card in my door and inside all my dishes done and flowers in my vase. Hubbs had to go but he cleaned first. I really felt loved.
Lots going on not nearly enough time to log it and blog it!
Monday, May 28, 2012
The coon skinned cap
I cut all of my hair off. When I mean all of it I mean, my shampoo will last the rest of the year. I love it. My hair has been my trade mark, since about age 9 actually.
This blog is for the lady receiving my hair.
A little background about the hair you are receiving, so you know where it's been.
The hair of a beautician's daughter, I always took good care of it.
You hair has not been colored in over 2 years now, which makes it perfect for collection. I never fixed it much but I took it with me everywhere so it's seen a lot.
Your hair has been attached to a pregnant girl twice, given birth to 2 strapping baby boys.
Your hair had spit up in before.
Your hair was married until I cut it off my head. my husband will miss your hair.
Your hair always got tons of complements I hope it gets you a few.
Your hair was my security blanket.
Your hair is runner hair.
Your hair ran a marathon.
Your hair is certified, grade A bad-ass hair.
Your hair has lost love ones to cancer.
Your hair used to be on a nurse.
Your hair has seen what you go through.
Your hair wants you to be strong.
Your hair already knows how brave you are.
This blog is for the lady receiving my hair.
A little background about the hair you are receiving, so you know where it's been.
The hair of a beautician's daughter, I always took good care of it.
You hair has not been colored in over 2 years now, which makes it perfect for collection. I never fixed it much but I took it with me everywhere so it's seen a lot.
Your hair has been attached to a pregnant girl twice, given birth to 2 strapping baby boys.
Your hair had spit up in before.
Your hair was married until I cut it off my head. my husband will miss your hair.
Your hair always got tons of complements I hope it gets you a few.
Your hair was my security blanket.
Your hair is runner hair.
Your hair ran a marathon.
Your hair is certified, grade A bad-ass hair.
Your hair has lost love ones to cancer.
Your hair used to be on a nurse.
Your hair has seen what you go through.
Your hair wants you to be strong.
Your hair already knows how brave you are.
Monday, May 21, 2012
now i'm signed up
In the weeks leading up to yesterday I have been entertaining certain ideas in the privacy of my own brain.
1. wouldn't it be cool if I ran another marathon at my ideal weight?
2. wouldn't it be cool if it was Erie?
3. wouldn't it be cool if I ran Erie this year?
4. I have 18 weeks to prepare, I'm already up to 8....
5. this is insane.
6. poo flinging crazy.
7. sounds like a plan
So I signed up yesterday. It's September 16th. I signed up for the full. I love the work that has to be done, so I'm getting excited.
Can't Stand It, Never Shout Never
1. wouldn't it be cool if I ran another marathon at my ideal weight?
2. wouldn't it be cool if it was Erie?
3. wouldn't it be cool if I ran Erie this year?
4. I have 18 weeks to prepare, I'm already up to 8....
5. this is insane.
6. poo flinging crazy.
7. sounds like a plan
So I signed up yesterday. It's September 16th. I signed up for the full. I love the work that has to be done, so I'm getting excited.
Can't Stand It, Never Shout Never
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
signing him up
Yesterday I did what I have been dreading. I signed my first born up for kindergarten. I know he won't go until August, but I can't help a little like this is the end of an era, um because it is. This blog is dedicated to my darling first born son, Miles.
Sometime in early fall of 2006....
I had just arrived home from a day of orientation at a new job at the local hospital in Baltimore. I was tired, getting dinner together in my hot un-airconditioned kitchen just loathing the heat. Hubbs was just leaving for a 2 week business trip, gave me a kiss and barreled out the door because he was late. He's always late, ALWAYS, and BWI didn't give a crap so he had to hustle it. I was kinda lonely in this time in my life, a bit depressed to; not sure how to take care of my self as an adult, missing my far away family, just committed to our first mortgage to an 100 year old stinker in a place I wasn't so sure of was a great place to live, and recovering from a really disappointing miscarriage and sinking because it was 6 months and I still wasn't pregnant. I confess to hating babiesrus in this time frame, and feeling sad whenever I saw a new baby or a pregnant girl, and taking about 5 pregnancy tests a month just to be sure. I was tired. I tired of feeling sad, and today just over it.
I give my friend a call, we talk about the usual stuff. I am a born multitasker. I had taken a pregnancy test and called my friend to chat to pass the minutes. I didn't tell her what I was waiting on because I was sure I would be seeing a negative as I had so many times. I return to the bathroom while mid sentence and it was positive. "Oh God....Tonya....." My friend becomes worried "what's the matter? Amanda what's wrong?" I preceded to repeat my self and get upset. Crying. pacing. I finally tell her, I'm pregnant. I tell her over and over to never tell until she she gets the okay because last time every knew before I miscarried and it was tough to get over retelling it over and over. We eventually hang up after she calms me down. I sit it this big old turd of a house alone on the couch thinking how am I going to tell him something like this over the phone I can't wait 2 weeks.
I put my head back and think and then my phone rings I jump like an MMA fighter and answer it's Hubbs he tells me on the way home his flight was actually cancelled. In the entire 5 years he worked there is the only one time this has ever happened. THANKGOD. So I get up and pace until he returns. He looks at me, he sees something is up. I just say go in the bathroom, he stands there and demands to know what's wrong I said look....and after an eternity he sees the test on the sink. He gives me a huge smile and hug.
We kept this a secret for 4 whole weeks from everyone except for my friend Tonya so we could verify he was okay. The day we had the ultrasound to confirm I was 8 weeks along and full clamped in fear. The last time I had an ultrasound we found out the baby past on so this was horrifying. I laid there on the table white knuckling my husband as the lady plooped jelly on me. Finally we heard the most beautiful sound ever, my little champ's heartbeat. He made it! Probably the most wonderful of moments so far in my life.
When he was born I didn't fully expect a baby until he came out. I know it sounds weird but I was terrified I couldn't place that he was coming out somehow because when he did it was a lightning bolt shock. He got yanked up by the ankles all gooey and before he even cried his eyes were open huge and he was looking at me. Wow it still gives me the chills.
As he has grown over the years he constantly surprises me. His unconditional love has taught me a thing or two. He has made me a mother and my husband a father. He's a great miracle gift to my husband and myself. As he turns 5 next week I am astounded how time flies. He can write his name and yesterday I signed him up for kindergarten.
When we got there the teacher came and took him away from me for his screening and I felt a little peace as he confidently walked with them. He's grown so much this is a good thing. I sit by myself watching a slide show waiting for my conference and I feel my heart thump and see tears coming. Thankfully my neighbor was coming to sit by me, I tell her to talk to me so I won't cry. Then it s my turn to talk with the principle I did just fine as she tells me my son is testing ready for kindergarten. Then as I tell her how impressed I was with how well organized the system was I choked on tears and they came out. The principle flops out a huge box of tissues and starts crying too. Well at least I wasn't alone, I am sure many more moms squirted out a few tears. My big boy was presented to me with a star sticker that says Kindergarten here I come. ...sigh....
I have been surviving lately on the fact we still have the summer and he's still a baby until then, but yesterday I saw it's already happened, he's not a baby and I am so very proud of him. Happy 5th Birthday Miles.
Sometime in early fall of 2006....
I had just arrived home from a day of orientation at a new job at the local hospital in Baltimore. I was tired, getting dinner together in my hot un-airconditioned kitchen just loathing the heat. Hubbs was just leaving for a 2 week business trip, gave me a kiss and barreled out the door because he was late. He's always late, ALWAYS, and BWI didn't give a crap so he had to hustle it. I was kinda lonely in this time in my life, a bit depressed to; not sure how to take care of my self as an adult, missing my far away family, just committed to our first mortgage to an 100 year old stinker in a place I wasn't so sure of was a great place to live, and recovering from a really disappointing miscarriage and sinking because it was 6 months and I still wasn't pregnant. I confess to hating babiesrus in this time frame, and feeling sad whenever I saw a new baby or a pregnant girl, and taking about 5 pregnancy tests a month just to be sure. I was tired. I tired of feeling sad, and today just over it.
I give my friend a call, we talk about the usual stuff. I am a born multitasker. I had taken a pregnancy test and called my friend to chat to pass the minutes. I didn't tell her what I was waiting on because I was sure I would be seeing a negative as I had so many times. I return to the bathroom while mid sentence and it was positive. "Oh God....Tonya....." My friend becomes worried "what's the matter? Amanda what's wrong?" I preceded to repeat my self and get upset. Crying. pacing. I finally tell her, I'm pregnant. I tell her over and over to never tell until she she gets the okay because last time every knew before I miscarried and it was tough to get over retelling it over and over. We eventually hang up after she calms me down. I sit it this big old turd of a house alone on the couch thinking how am I going to tell him something like this over the phone I can't wait 2 weeks.
I put my head back and think and then my phone rings I jump like an MMA fighter and answer it's Hubbs he tells me on the way home his flight was actually cancelled. In the entire 5 years he worked there is the only one time this has ever happened. THANKGOD. So I get up and pace until he returns. He looks at me, he sees something is up. I just say go in the bathroom, he stands there and demands to know what's wrong I said look....and after an eternity he sees the test on the sink. He gives me a huge smile and hug.
We kept this a secret for 4 whole weeks from everyone except for my friend Tonya so we could verify he was okay. The day we had the ultrasound to confirm I was 8 weeks along and full clamped in fear. The last time I had an ultrasound we found out the baby past on so this was horrifying. I laid there on the table white knuckling my husband as the lady plooped jelly on me. Finally we heard the most beautiful sound ever, my little champ's heartbeat. He made it! Probably the most wonderful of moments so far in my life.
When he was born I didn't fully expect a baby until he came out. I know it sounds weird but I was terrified I couldn't place that he was coming out somehow because when he did it was a lightning bolt shock. He got yanked up by the ankles all gooey and before he even cried his eyes were open huge and he was looking at me. Wow it still gives me the chills.
As he has grown over the years he constantly surprises me. His unconditional love has taught me a thing or two. He has made me a mother and my husband a father. He's a great miracle gift to my husband and myself. As he turns 5 next week I am astounded how time flies. He can write his name and yesterday I signed him up for kindergarten.
When we got there the teacher came and took him away from me for his screening and I felt a little peace as he confidently walked with them. He's grown so much this is a good thing. I sit by myself watching a slide show waiting for my conference and I feel my heart thump and see tears coming. Thankfully my neighbor was coming to sit by me, I tell her to talk to me so I won't cry. Then it s my turn to talk with the principle I did just fine as she tells me my son is testing ready for kindergarten. Then as I tell her how impressed I was with how well organized the system was I choked on tears and they came out. The principle flops out a huge box of tissues and starts crying too. Well at least I wasn't alone, I am sure many more moms squirted out a few tears. My big boy was presented to me with a star sticker that says Kindergarten here I come. ...sigh....
I have been surviving lately on the fact we still have the summer and he's still a baby until then, but yesterday I saw it's already happened, he's not a baby and I am so very proud of him. Happy 5th Birthday Miles.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
nurse at work
So I fell into a worm hole of not blogging for a few days. It's been BUSAY.
My kids adjusting? Well yes and no. They aren't super fans of leaving me by mid week. This is an odd week too I work my first weekend rotation they are kinda confused, but for the most part I miss them. I admit it's hard to give the reins on such an important job over to anyone(mom to my kids), it's always tough for me when they aren't right by me. So I've been recognizably under the radar, don't want to give any minutes over away from kiddie time, I have spectacular mom guilt. By the time they are asleep I am too! Or exercising.
I have decided for probably the duration of the summer I get up at 5am. That's when I've been running with skipp, in the dark. He's getting bigger and faster. I spend most of the run being towed yelling "SLOW DOWNNNNNN SKKKKKKIIIIPPPPPY". He poops out early though, probably good or I would end up late for work cause this is a sedentary job and I feel like a caged animal. It's cool though about the job, lots to learn, lots a work but do-able. I can train my butt off too then go sit on my butt and learn so more and do more paperwork, so when hubby's home I'm out at 515 killing it. I do have a treadmill for when the kids and me are alone, I do not prefer it but it's a way to sanity and extra attention span. So the distance end, not much right now, but very useful workouts. I am committed to weights once a week even if I can't make it to the preferred body pump class, but I think that has made a huge difference in my recent size difference. I don't enjoy the weight machines, but I do them, and I keep getting my geriatric butt on the captains chair too. So Manda's running and she's still a veggie eater reluctantly.
Here's a quick review of the last week and a half
1. worked a lot
2. learning stuff
3. missing kids
4. hit 162.8 for 1 day.
5. maiden family car cruise happened last weekend
6. regarding cruise children's excitement = husbands excitement...there is not an age buffer when it comes to cars that sound loud enough to be heard a half mile away.
7 new running kicks via Lloyd.
8. signing kid up for all day kindergarten tues...dread...
9. marathon's tomorrow....I won't be there....poop.
10. good luck Kenyan!!!!!!!!!!!
11 working a lot
12 missing kids
13 missing kids.
14 missing blogging....
I am loving a new band fun.
I suggest a running song: Some nights, fun.
onward friends. love to my marathoners tomorrow.
My kids adjusting? Well yes and no. They aren't super fans of leaving me by mid week. This is an odd week too I work my first weekend rotation they are kinda confused, but for the most part I miss them. I admit it's hard to give the reins on such an important job over to anyone(mom to my kids), it's always tough for me when they aren't right by me. So I've been recognizably under the radar, don't want to give any minutes over away from kiddie time, I have spectacular mom guilt. By the time they are asleep I am too! Or exercising.
I have decided for probably the duration of the summer I get up at 5am. That's when I've been running with skipp, in the dark. He's getting bigger and faster. I spend most of the run being towed yelling "SLOW DOWNNNNNN SKKKKKKIIIIPPPPPY". He poops out early though, probably good or I would end up late for work cause this is a sedentary job and I feel like a caged animal. It's cool though about the job, lots to learn, lots a work but do-able. I can train my butt off too then go sit on my butt and learn so more and do more paperwork, so when hubby's home I'm out at 515 killing it. I do have a treadmill for when the kids and me are alone, I do not prefer it but it's a way to sanity and extra attention span. So the distance end, not much right now, but very useful workouts. I am committed to weights once a week even if I can't make it to the preferred body pump class, but I think that has made a huge difference in my recent size difference. I don't enjoy the weight machines, but I do them, and I keep getting my geriatric butt on the captains chair too. So Manda's running and she's still a veggie eater reluctantly.
Here's a quick review of the last week and a half
1. worked a lot
2. learning stuff
3. missing kids
4. hit 162.8 for 1 day.
5. maiden family car cruise happened last weekend
6. regarding cruise children's excitement = husbands excitement...there is not an age buffer when it comes to cars that sound loud enough to be heard a half mile away.
7 new running kicks via Lloyd.
8. signing kid up for all day kindergarten tues...dread...
9. marathon's tomorrow....I won't be there....poop.
10. good luck Kenyan!!!!!!!!!!!
11 working a lot
12 missing kids
13 missing kids.
14 missing blogging....
I am loving a new band fun.
I suggest a running song: Some nights, fun.
onward friends. love to my marathoners tomorrow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)