Sunday, June 24, 2012

no shortcuts in longruns

So I have been FREAKING out lately. Somethings I need to just get over, others I am struggling with. I find myself not sleeping well, and the short runs definitely help but I was so psyched for my 12miler yesterday. For the sole purpose of just 2 and half short hours alone with me and maybe I could get some mental organizing/cleaning done or just go on auto pilot. The run did not disappoint, never does. I ran through the park twice and once around the track. I had a great time overall, I learned something yesterday from a series of events.
I kept thinking to myself I am a genius when I run. I have the best ideas they often are silly later. I was thinking wouldn't it be great to have a commercial with Eminem running with an ordinary person supporting them and even waiting at the portajohn then they could make it for mp3 players. Sometimes I feel like Eminem runs with me... sort of.. okay it was silly. It may already be a commercial I watch very little tv.  I spent too much time thinking of this 'genious' idea, distracted and over eager to be out I made mistake omega I did not hydrate early on. And this epic fail started at home before I had not purchase any other sport drink yet this year, I only had last years and it was 240 calories per scoop. So what did I do only take one scoop I needed more salt than that, but busy missyfailpants has not had a brain in her head this week and did the monotone 'I MUST RUN' thinking I would order it later and it wasn't too hot and I am fine what ever.
As the run progressed my stomach hurt about halfway, buy mile 9 I was forced to drop trow in a latrine. I don't like them, they are like 20 feet drops with toilet seats, and I am scared something will come up the hole and bite my bum. But after so long you know you won't make 3 more miles and you must evacuate or wear it. This is wear squats pay off from your workouts- they are your hover muscles. Thank god after 9 miles for squats. I bring this up because I am adding to the epic fail. 1 scoop sport drink extremely diluted, and now I am experiencing the wonderment of run-oh-rrhea. uh-oh.
I stayed pretty calm, I am in the middle of the park. I am about a mile and a half from my truck I only have about 3 left, and now I don't have to poop, I will make it, I had at least been eating gu through my run so I though I would be fine.
I made it back to the walking track caught up with a fellow runner talked about mile 4 of the great race for a brief minute I told him I had a half mile left and I was tired. As I said "my legs are killing me" both of my calfs took a dump. Cramped up double charelyhorse type cramping. I am quarter mile from the truck. I wince and walk to the truck. I get stretched, its not helping. I drive home pretty much openly groaning and swearing its bad. By the time I pull in I can hardly walk. I realized I need salt on the drive home. Doofus you sweat actual salt. I can't get that far with 1 scoop of sport drink and water and only drinking every 3 miles, but I tried..FAIL. So I hobble in the door, bust in the fridge and drink directly out of the pickles. I didn't like the taste I did a chug a lug. Then drank a vita coco and got in the ice bath, before I got out of the bath I felt the pain lift.
And that ladies and gentleman is what happens when you don't add enough salt and hydration to your summer long runs. Calories be damned you will be humbled.
This marathon runner could not finish 12. I made it 11.8 and could barely make it to the pickles. Hydrate. Eat. Poop. It's all  normal in a run if you try to save time to eliminate one you will pay, that's what I get for trying a short cut!

Song: Ben Folds Five, Where's The Summer B?

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