traning completed

I did my last run before this years erie marathon.   I am trying not to get all gushy here but I pulled out the box. What's the box?  it's a shoe box of my shirt from last year i raced in, my number, peices of the race I kept like my foil blanket, and my finish line picture.  I am not wearing that shirt ever again it was meant for that day, but I tried it on. I am wierd I guess I just wanted to see if there was a difference from last year. I know this shirt is a little bigger but I am not seeing this huge difference I am supposed to be seeing. I don' think I ever will I guess. It feels like with all the work I put in it should be huge but maybe it just isn't? But I passed my fingers over all the things from last year I felt were so valuable that I had to save forever and I am a little choked up. I was so disgusted with my finish line picture I never framed it.  I am not the best looking girl ever, and last year I was really ashamed to line up looking the way I did. You ever just realize how brave you were and shudder? I did. I was so close up in it all I just assumed the position I was sensitive about my size but I kept my head up. It's been a whole year now I am actually proud of that girl I was. I hope I can only do her justice this year.
I am ready to start packing for Erie now. Prayerfully meditating about the days to come.

I posted this video last year and took it down 5 minutes later because I was ashamed of my size. This is the last 200 meters of my marathon. I was in pain. I was in shock. I still think about these last few yards and my ears buzz and i get goose bumps. I am ready to post it now.