10k Race Report

So I ran my first 10k this morning, came home, showered and off to work, its now midnight and I am sitting up in bed blogging. I am dead ass tired, but I'm awake!
The mood for this whole thing was nervous. I expressed my fear in previous post, and it expanded from there. I got up 5am and played try on everything I own and throw it on the floor because I felt 1. fat and 2. like a nerd. I decided on my security blanket- My black "hell no!" t-shirt, cotton and not ideal for running but perfect for my insecurity. I actually put my shorts in the wash, and dryer like right before I left after deciding I had to have those ones, I sat on a towel because I left the house with clean but damp shorts on.  I left too early,or maybe I don't remember the drive being so short. I was trying to listen to the radio on the way there and I couldn't get reception scanning I heard part of a children's song: There is just one you, God only made one you. I vow to settle down at this point, I took an extra deep breath as I drove the rest of the way to the Kenyan's house. I text: I am so early, I'm sorry. I was really early, but she was all set. Nervous around the start, I must have peed 3 times before the gun went off. I am looking all around, this is a big race, I feel so shaky. Everyone milling around was wearing running clothing, I am wearing a black cotton t-shirt in July-great choice A-hole. I really felt funky but I tried to tell myself just to be myself and enjoy it.
Taking off down the road as the pack stretches out before me as it always does, I enjoy the run. Its hot but lots of people cheering and SUPER nice people with their garden hoses out in their yards made the run enjoyable. I even found myself flexing my bicep for people as they clapped- I'm a ham what can I say? I finished in 1:09:54. I wasn't last there were 16 people behind me. 246 finishers, I was 230. I think I did the best I could considering the very hilly course, hot day and the mileage I had already taken on this week. Remember this is on top of 18 miles already.
At these races I always feel like spatula in a spoon drawer, similar but a different kind of tool completely. A lot of bigger races have a clydesdale category, where people over a certain weight class compete against each other, I would like to see that happen in our area soon. Do I want to win? No not really, I just want more people toe-ing the line with me in the back! I know a lot of runners who don't race for that reason.
When I got home I kinda had a meltdown to hubbs. I read in a book 10k x 5 is a decent Marathon estimation. So basically, I can estimate if all goes right, to finish around 5:45. The course closes in 6 hours, very possible my fears will be realized and I will be swept to the side. He had to talk me back out of myself, reminded me why I am doing this, because it's hard. Because it's a challenge. Because before I couldn't have even dreamed of signing up and now I am 78 days away. I hope that I don't get swept, but I will finish anyway even if I wouldn't be allowed with everyone else. I'm scared but I am not backing down. Every run I get the privilege of ability for, will be enjoyed to the utmost, even if I must make my own finish line because everyone is going home.

Cake, The Distance
http://youtu.be/__PU5CVSegg