Inspired by tonight's horrific trial of hand me down running shorts on a hilly trail run, here are my thoughts as they rolled out:
Well maybe this won't be so bad once I get moving faster and sweat up....Good thing I am running in the woods cause these shorts have turned into daisy dukes...noooooooo ....shit...people....quick keep your form up high like you are serious and just sprint....ouch.....no really ouch.....at what point Amanda, did you think the loose skin on your thighs had absorbed? You ass, you are moving so much flesh right now on your thighs, you might put your damn back out. you alrready knew this would probably not work out......well don't slow down now and try to pick it out you are stupid and must be punished..... shit.... more people........I am a serious Olympic grad marathon runner that LIKES chafe that's why I wear my shorts like underpants in the middle, I hope it bleeds.... ouch... it might.....but these shorts look really cute standing still.....once again you will pay now get your ass up that hill....okay maybe i will try to pick it a little....dear god what have I done....excuse me miss you seem to have started your cycle, why no sir that's just my inner thighs bleeding because I dressed like a horse's ass....running shorts are for dudes....and women that weren't almost 3dubs at one point....this run is what I would call a low point in training...thank god this is the woods....I wonder if my ass looks as congested as the front....this is really turning uncomfortable up a notch....thank goodness I am done now... wow my inner thighs are so warm now I could hatch an egg....note to self running shorts are now mandas standing around shorts....friction is not always fun......
....and scene....
onward
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