Getting lost!

I finally feel better. This morning I had planned to run a 10 miler to get myself back in the running for my half marathon. (Yesterday was so busy I didn't come home from 930 am until 9 pm at night. ) There was one little snag, the Maple Syrup Festival has clogged up my running route with dangerous traffic of maple syrup revelers, so I opted to run in my neighborhood. My hood is hilly and the roads not the best graded, it's not bad for short runs for long runs it's complicated, high traffic and hilly. I ran my first 5 miles in a loop to town and back, I stopped at home and refilled my bottles on my belt. I didn't add any extra gu, because according to my recent fueling habits I would have only needed on more to finish 5 more miles, and I had another 20 ounces on my belt of liquid - no biggie.
 I said to my hubbs at halfway, I think I am going to turn left onto shenango and just see where it takes me. He said to me "There is really no side of the road there, be careful". I tell him I am fine, I have my trail shoes on so I can run in the grass if I have to. So off I go back to the road and I hung a left like I planned to. I got so far and I realized hubbs was right. This was a horrible windy mountain type road and I was running down it and I was praying that I wouldn't get hit as I descended to the bottom, it was a rock wall on the one side and a steep cliff with a puny guard rail on the other. At some point I realized this is about 1 mile straight down and I think it would be in my best interest to turn back, but the safety quality of this road, with super poor pedestrian visibility I decided I should keep going and see how the road turns out. I am not super familiar with these back roads, I haven't lived here long, hubbs grew up here but I didn't, in my ignorance I neglected to listen to him. So when I started passing horses and got in long stretches of super uphill country I started to freak out. I stretched out my water so I would be sure not to run out. I only had one more GU, and civilization seemed pretty far away. I look at the Garmin. I am 7 miles in, I remind myself I am fine, It will be okay. I keep going, wow whatever road that was, it was uphill. I couldn't help but feel really stupid at this point, I took a chance but I was ill prepared, I should have known better I just got over some horrible sickness, and I didn't really have time to eat and drink enough yesterday either so here I am in the middle of nowhere, lost, and I am started to feel sick. Sick meaning crampy and the beginning stages of runners tummy. Cars were whizzing past me, I started talking to myself. I am going to get hit by a car and someone will find my dead with poop in my pants....just great....find a happy place....this really is uphill the whole way.....why isn't there a lemonade stand nearby?....I missed the park big time today.
Finally I came out in civilization, it just happened to be really far from my house, by the local high school actually. I eventually got to where I needed to be and passed up a convenience store, I had money for just that and somehow my dehydrated pea of a brain thought I could muscle through the last 3 miles since I was feeling pretty good at that point. So I made it a mile away from town and the store and started to hate myself for not stopping. I look at my garmin I have now gone 12 miles. I have now started to feel achy in my calves. I have done this before. Last year I decided I didn't need to take my fuel belt and I ended up with runners poops and leg cramps, I knew what was happening. Now I start to think wow you really are stupid, you knew this would happened and you blew it off. I made it another half a mile an I started walking because I had to. The cramps in my calves were so bad I started to worry I wasn't going to be able to walk. If you have ever had the pleasure of waking up in the middle of the night with a charley horse, that is exactly what this was just both legs.
 I start cussing myself out at this point. I am trying to think of brilliant short cuts throught he woods, I decided that was stupid I would just end up with a tick and then no one would find me. By the time I got to the house I was a twisted mess. I downed some coconut waters and  sodium bicarb tabs and hit the icebath for the first time this year. The cramps were so rough I was grunting, but it stopped in about 5 minutes. Today I experienced a first, I atually had to eat while showering. It was a must..
 I feel fine now just tired. I can't believe I was so shocked to find the threshold is still there, you have to play by the rules with distance running and I forgot and I got my ass handed to me. Distance running is great for humbling you. You have to be prepared and you cannot cut corners. Message received, lesson learned. Not bad for my first 'bad run' in a long long time, but I am aware I got lucky and this could have gotten way uglier, I need to find a way to bring a phone with me or somekind of batsignal.
I  need to learn to slow down. I have been doing the freak about being so busy I am starting to let things fling past me. If I would just calm down I wouldn't be acting like such a windowlicker. So my goal right now is to pray. Pray for calm. Pray for grace. Pray to settle down. It's not all a race, tomorrow will take care of itself. I am trying for peace now. I predicted I would be a freak in January, I am trying not to be, but I am feeling spaziod. 13 miles done today, only planned for 10.