On bailing.

Okay. I HAVE changed some. Yes I am still stubborn. There is no talking to me about most, but I have learned by experience that some days it would be smarter to just go home than to continue on a long run when I feel pain coming on. Yesterday I was to complete 8 by the book I used, 10 by my standards and plans, I ended my run at 7.5 miles. I am needing a break. I am not sure whats up with me. I could be getting sick, It may just be the huge influx of pollen/golden rod allergies, or a little bit of burnout setting in. Something is funky. Last time I felt yucky I didn't listen I got schooled.
 Yesterday I felt my Hip complain to my knee. I know that pain, it's IT band syndrome and it was only mild yesterday, a sign I need a break. Mentally and physically right now I am feeling wiped out. I am spreading myself a little too thin and I have letting my thoughts get negative. The last week I have been cranky, not very interested in food, and extra tired with no extra sleep. I am getting all sensitive as I do when I am beat up tired too. Everything gets to me and I get sarcastic.
At the 5 mile mark when I stopped to fill up my bottles, I reached for the tiger balm and untied my stretchy black pants and rubbed my sore hip with it, basically showed part of my butt cheek in public. I was also having to use my inhaler, a sign I am not having the best run.  I took off down the road and some where before 6 miles I decided this would be wise to turn around and call it for the day.
Reasoning being 20 miler is up next, and I have nothing to prove on a 50 cutback week. This is about recovery and rebuilding. This was also a test of mental toughness.  Surrendering for a day for the greater good is not something I find easy. I came home to shower, Hubbs, surprised to see me so soon, took one look at me and tears came. Yep sensitive and just tired. I laid around with my little ones and watched Disney Jr., took a nap, went to a car/plane show....moping everywhere.  Hubbs took me on a nice date too, bought me new clothes, fed me good food and took me to a drive in movie. And I promptly fell asleep in our turd of a minivan and he ended up watching a double feature alone.
I woke up less upset and feeling less sore today. I can attest to feeling like quitting completely yesterday, I even discussed it with Hubbs. There is just so much in my life right now, it doesn't feel very smart at this point.  That's all part of it though, it's go time, and it's almost over that's why it's getting ugly up in here.  I am not hurt, just pooped, I am still going.
I have a plan. No work outs only stretching and ice until at least Wednesday, I may rest all the way up to Saturday if warranted. I will be foam rolling again, and working on sleeping. My diet lately has been good but I am going to try to extra hydrate and eat clean. I am considering not weighing in for a while. My weight has fluctuated so much over the last week even, 6 pounds last week up and down again. My current low water weight for the last 2 weeks is 162- also super upsetting. I was 156 in May!!!! My legs are enormous, I am hungry all the time, I want to loose weight not freaking gain it. I had this upsetting problem last year. This the mental shit that stacks up on the marathon CON list. My body is preparing. I am taking a mini break for a few days, hoping to cash in on the rest benefits for both body and soul.
So I bailed yesterday, and then I cried, I thought about quitting, today I am not doing any of those things.
Onward.