Monday, February 6, 2012

What the heck?

Yeah I didn't do my Sunday measurements. I am still very much at the gym getting busay. I just am trying to go with my new philosophy of shut the heck up if you really don't have anything fantastic to say. I wasn't feeling it.

Friday night I had a calorie spike snack. Us kids on Myfittnesspal.com believe in a spluge meal every once in a while to fool the body into thinking its not a diet. So a "spike meal" is tool speak. I had some chicken dip with chips, and an enormus cookie dough brownie. By the time I got home I was so sorry I ate it. My tummy hurt. So sunday morning when I went up 2 whole pounds, I knew I deserved it, and had no words. I didn't measure either due to business, earlier work, kids wanting attention, sick hubby I said screw the measuring tape this week.

This morning I am 178. That's down 3 in a day. Net 1lb loss this week. I'll take it. I'll measure next sunday.
Today I bought a size Medium top. I have no memory of EVER wearing a medium, not even in socks. So...*Tebow-ing* yeah, I'm uh REALLY impressed. Even if I hate my body, still think I am huge in my mind, I have a ladies medium top from Kmart and it feels like couture.

So the other thing that has my butt puckered lately, things are changing. My baby, who will be 3 in April is now potty trained. (ouch). And now, I'm looking to change up the work life. No more every weekend, we need time as a family as the kids grow. Its going to be the year I enroll my oldest in sports, Mommy has to be there too, and not to mention I haven't been to a party or family gathering at a normal weekend time in 3 years. So next month it changes. I am looking at sitters now. (deep burn). I will get there, accepting the situation that is, right now on the cover its positive but I am of course wrestling with letting go. This has made my workouts benefit. I am angry, sad, confused, frantic to find a sitter, you name it, I have learned to let it out at the gym or on the road and I have been. Mama is sore more days than not.

If you are wondering 23 to go....word.
Colorblind, Counting Crows

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