Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Feb. 5, 2006

Dear Baby,
I am writing you this letter while you are still inside me. Because I want you to know how much I already love you. I have always wanted you and today I am sad. It was your first doctors appointment today, everything looked good until the doctor pushed on my belly and I said "ouch". He brought in the sonogram machine and you must have been too tiny to see.
Well if you end up growing big and strong or if you only spend the rest of the week in my belly, I just want you to know how blessed everybody was for a little while and how truly happy for father and I were when we heard about our beautiful baby. If you leave us and go to heaven remember we love you and we'll never forget our baby. If you stay and were playing a joke or hiding , let me say that is the beginning of another beautiful life story. Whatever you decide to do, remember, we both love you.
Your Mother,
Amanda Fink

I found this in a journal as I was cleaning out my storage to make room for a second Christmas tree to store. Everything came back like a ton a bricks. It was before we knew it was a confirmed miscarriage. It was the beginning of something that changed me forever. Lots of time has passed but I always think of this child and the age he or she may be. Just thought I would share one of the reasons why I run, I run for her.

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