Yesterday was a pretty ridiculous day. So lets ridicule it. I woke up exhausted. I was kinda spinning my wheels in the morning aimlessly wandering trying to get the kids ready for school and the gym with me. I just HAD to work out since I knew I was eating out later. I must have wanted extra coffee. I took the creamer and apparently stuffed it in the coffee cup cabinet. (I found it at 4pm yummy.)
After my class at the gym, feeling ambitious I decide we need to go over to the post office, sweaty mom and all to mail a package. I didn't have a box, no problem, last time I mailed something I bought a flat rate box- easy peasy. I got a box waited, and tape (sheez) and waited to pay for it until I addressed it. After I paid for it I went to the back of our tiny post office to fill out the adress and put the box together. My son, the 2year old, is at this point laying on the ground playing with a chapstick from my purse. I sigh and ignore as I use the leashed pen. I fill it out and now my wonderful child has his shoes off. Grrrreeat, and now we are drawing a crowd. I pass the line set the box on the counter and say "Merry Christmas". The man says, "wait you didn't pay to mail that". OH, I didn't buy a flat rate box? Son of a bitch. Line is long and now Jude, has lost his patience. Mom, I want it! MOM I WANNNT IT. The lady at the front lets me line jump to pay. I really did appreciate that. Especailly because Jude was rittling my ear drums with blasts blood curdling screams.
Later I pick my oldest up from school, in my sweats and freshly showered self, wet hair, socks with sandals. Lucky there is a line of cars and they let the kids out that way, nobody really sees me. Well that day as we got in the door, Miles pulls out a ornament from his pocket. I asked him if he took it without asking because they usually put everything in their bookbags, he frowned and started to cry. So I pack everyone back into the van, damn it I am teaching him right from wrong right now! Well I get them back to the class room after walking through the church looking rough. I tap on the doors all the preschool teachers are eating lunch together. I tell the teacher after she invites us in that he took something and he wants to return it. She said " No! that's from the guest speaker, he can keep that." Well of course then Miles burst into tears, and then ahem, I did too. In front of all those people, that I will see a few times a week for the rest of the school year. They all hugged us and told us not to worry but of course now I had to tell my kid I was wrong too. If I didn't care about how he turns out it probably wouldn't have been a big deal.
Later that day I had a work related function. As I got myself ready to wear adult clothing and shoes, I found the coffee creamer....just perfect. I get to the party right on time dressed pretty nice ready to enjoy myself and DAMN, I forgot my grab bag. I look in my purse before I enter the room thank goodness a Bob Evans gift card. It was not intended for this party but its going to have to do. It was 5 dollars of the the limit of 20 bucks too. Not wrapped I fling it on the table and make a slacker joke about forgetting to wrap it. Dude! I forgot to bring the damn one I bought. So as the evening goes on we play the swap grab bag where you unwrap and then it can get stolen by the next in line and so on. There was 19 people. No one wanted the gift card, the stealing went on forever to avoid my stinker gift. They kept yelling you take the sausage! It was because the restaurant is like a 20 minute drive away. I bought it with my dad and step mom in mind they live near one. I of course laughed and smiled through my embarrassment. It really was hysterical. Next year I am going to try to find a stupid gift on purpose and wrap it really pretty. Hey at least I made it out the door and I was dressed with make up on and stuff.
The goofy streak is probably continuing....I could use a reprive.
Random: Stand, R.E.M.
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