The smell of fresh cut Ass

Nope that's not a typo. Dear lord summer has arrived. Happy Memorial Day everyone its sticky. All that bitching about rain and chilly on your facebook statuses has paid off, its unbearable out there,I hope you are happy!
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I worked late last night feel asleep around 1am. Knowing full well it would be this disgusting out early I tossed my butt out of bed at 0600. Did my routine: drink a glass of cold coffee from yesterday, take my allergy meds, eat half a peanut butter naner sandwich, go potty, dress myself, grease the feet, apply the gear, trip on my back steps and almost fall and swear at nothing....push start on Garmin. Running in my hood today with the humidity level being "thick" I was suprized how much my sense of smell is elevated. I could smell different flowers/weeds from a distance, usually I have so much snot I smell nothing. I got all the way the first mile and up the second hill before I started to smell myself. It was a combination of honey suckle flowers and spoiled something...at this point I wasn't sure it was me. I think to myself  "probably roadkill" and keep going. My water-aide went fast today, I was thirsty, I had to put in some walk breaks. Good news no inhaler, no pain.You can imagine my frustration when I peeked at my Garmin. I might as well shut it off. I didn't shut if off but I wanted to pitch it into the ditch or toss it at the highway see if I could hit anything. I tick by 3 and 4 miles and I am offending myself during my walk breaks. It's me definitely, not roadkill. I had that spinach and artichoke hummus again and AND black bean salsa- very vinegary and garlic-y, mix that with my regular rotten aroma on the hottest humidest day so far and there you have it, I was making myself want to puke. I ran past a lawn guy doing early grass cutting and he wrecked into a bush as I went by I think my scent knocked him out briefly.
After returning to Bastard Hill (coined by yours truly) and running up it (yeah me!)I was happy to be on the down hill home. I was successful again to arrive before anybody was up. I guess my smell wafted in to the kids and woke them up I have been home for 2 hours now and I still haven't had my fresh coffee.

Stuck in my head:
Weezer, Surf Wax America