I just published just the title of the blog before I began typing, that's how distracted I am. I am on some other planet. The long run today was okay. My feet and my lungs decided to play nice, my brain was somewhere completely different. I kept loosing my pace, really just drifting off into oblivion.
I started out with an 8/m pace for the first mile-STOOPID. I don't know what I thought I was doing. Every morning I go to the track, some other tool is just getting there in the dark and today my crazy ass thought, I'll be damned if he laps me again. Yeah I got 3/4 of a mile into it before he dusted me. Hes like 2 foot taller, I think I lost all common sense, when he came past I actually dug in and sprinted a few strides before I remembered how short my legs are. I laugh about it as I type it, endorphin overload! I didn't even have the breath to blurt out good morning, he probably thought I was scary and will be adjusting his run times. By the time I was about to pass the truck I slowed to take off my jacket and stuff. By stuff I mean I was dicking around today. I didn't put on my fuel belt until mile 3 when I got my faster laps out of my system. I didn't want to wear it, I hate how fat it makes me feel, and not to mention the rope burn it gives me. I ran a little too fast early on so I had to stop and stretch a few times. Also I had to make 2 porta john stops the innards would not cooperate today. I am not sleeping well, and hold the phone, I am not eating either. I just don't care. I am not hungry. I am hydrated, but that's about it. So after I stop and put on my belt I took off through the park, I felt like I was dragging my self to keep up with my space cadet mind. I was thinking about all kinda nutty stuff.
I was day dreaming about things that will never happen. Those dreams remain confidential, but I'll tell you they are insane. I obsess too, more than usual about dumb shit. I would have just kept on plodding along if I wasn't in a taper, and I mean for like ever. Things I did think of that I'll share: All we are is dust in the wind, wow that's deep. 11 fricken days. I wish my boobs looked better than this, I am getting old. Thank god for rainy days. Wow I almost got hit by a car. I wonder if they will cancel that meeting at work today. I wonder when my arm warmers will get here. I am sad training is almost over. Why is this the only time I feel truly free? I like that the kids like the song Disturbia, its cute. This park is so pretty no matter the season. I wonder when it will snow, I can't wait to get my underarmor cold gear back on its slimming. I am molasses from Kenya. I wish my friends weren't hurt. I am sort of sad. I have so much to be thankful for. Wow the sides of these roads are so washed out. What is god's plan for me? What am I doing here? I wish I could just stay out all day. I am spoiled for getting to do all of this. I bet you I gross out people. What the hell am I thinking? What did I get myself into. I am shy. I talk too much. I really should never stop running. 11 more day of this I and I am going to turn into a monkey throwing poop at the zoo, I need to snap out of it.
Ben Folds, Best Imitation of Myself
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