Monday, April 18, 2011

Stressss

Well i hesitate to share because it sounds like I am a horrible mother... BUT I am a talker....so I'll share. My youngest has yet other horrible ear infection in both ears. Looks like we are going to need to take him to a specialist. I am so tense about my kids being sick, I actually get panicky chest pain, and now I have a good old tension headache from my toes to my split ends. I am scheduled for a short 50 minute run today. Of course baby fever just takes a organized person's imaginary list and lights it on fire, we go no where until it breaks. So I will be doing a bed time run. I used to do that time of day all last year, Ryan came home I would take off and come home smelly. I am not a bad mom I guess, you can't control everything no matter how hard you try. Trust me I did try, that's why I used to always put them in bed an go run, letting go was hard. Still is everyday.
Hoping for just that hour for me if all is well enough. Even if its on a treadmill, we make it work. I could use the release today, intense pressure of worry. If I don't I am not going to whine, that'll be that.  I'm going to go scrub the shit out of this house now(mother's mantra).

The Beatles, Hey Jude

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